Referrals

(This blog was originally posted on June 14, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Recently, I had to take my cat to the vet. Her regular doctor was on vacation, so a new, per diem veterinarian examined her. At first I considered postponing the appointment until our regular vet returned, but I quickly rationalized that it shouldn’t really make a huge difference which veterinarian in the practice we saw. I knew that Dr. McFarland would not have hired someone who didn’t have the skills (veterinary and people) to do a good job for her regular clients and patients. I trusted her, so I was willing to give the new doctor the benefit of the doubt.

That is basically how referrals work, as well. As I mentioned in a previous blog titled My Professional Network Group, I am a member of a professional group that meets for lunch each week to promote personal and other members’ businesses. Word-of-mouth is an excellent way to get new clients because these individuals are more likely to take a chance on a person or company who is recommended by another person/vender they know, trust and are already doing business. One of my good friends and fellow Network Referral Group partner, Jennifer Lamm, is a mortgage broker with The Loan Gallery. Virtually every one of her clients has been referred to her by another client, whether it is a friend, relative, co-worker or another NRG member. The first time I ever had a chiropractic adjustment was when I met Dr. Brian Wildemuth, a chiropractor, about 10 years ago. He is another NRG member/group founder. My former riding instructor at the time kept urging me to get a chiropractic adjustment to help improve my posture on my horse. Several friends in the group saw Dr. B. regularly for adjustments, so I finally decided to give it a try. Now, I can’t believe I waited so long before I ever tried it, but it was definitely my friends’ encouragement and recommendations that sent me to his office that first time.

Our willingness and even preference to participate in various activities is founded on those early-life experiences—theory of mind—that helped to create our subconscious mental script. What feels comfortable? What feels “safe” (known)? What do you like (or dislike)? During early childhood, a primary caretaker (usually mom) has the most influence on our behavior in terms of helping to form our suggestibility. At around eight or nine years old, the secondary caretaker (usually) dad becomes more influential, as can teachers and peers/colleagues, etc. A successful, long-term (romantic) relationship is based on various qualities; trust, mutual respect, good communication and liking the other person also feature in other types of relationships that can influence behavior. Have you ever taken the advice or recommendation of a friend or colleague to listen to a new band or try a food you have never had, let alone thought of eating, before? Have you ever accepted an invitation to attend an office party with your spouse for one of his or her colleagues without knowing many or any of the other attendees before you arrive? All of these are examples of referrals, too.

The more comfortable we feel with/trust someone, the more suggestible we become to that person and the more likely we are to be influenced by him or her to change, try or even adopt a new behavior.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

     Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “The proper utilization of our intelligence and knowledge is to effect changes from within to develop a good heart.” – Dalai Lama

• “A word of appreciation often can accomplish what nothing else could accomplish.” – B.C. Forbes

•  “Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality that guarantees all others.” – Winston Churchilll

• “Life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” – Jim Rohn

• “Starting strong is good. Finishing strong is epic.”— Robin Sharma

• “You’ve only got three choices in life: Give up, give in or give it all you’ve got.” – Unknown

•  “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” – Albert Einstein

• “Everything is going to come together. Maybe not immediately, but eventually.” – Lolly Daskal

• “No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow your progress, you’re still way ahead of someone who isn’t trying.” – Tony Robbins

• “You just have to do it.” – Brie Larsen

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Evolution

(This blog was originally posted on June 22, 2016)

“Evolve into the person you always wanted to be.” – Shri Nagesh

Photo by Rick Hustead

One of my psychology professors at college described a philosophy of developmental psychology whereby each person is actually a completely different organism at different stages of development. This concept is understandable if you compare a photograph taken of you as an infant and compare the image to you as a toddler, young child (age 5-7), at age 10, early teens, etc. through your age right now. When you look hard at specific features and details of your expression, shape of your ears/nose/eyes and even the way you clasp your hands in front of your body, you can see traits and features that are totally “you.” But there are will also be other attributes that are less obvious and even invisible, such as the knowledge, experience, beliefs and attitudes that you have acquired and developed over the years. Today you may not be able to do some of the physical activities you enjoyed when you were 10 years old, let alone remember participating in that activity.

From birth to whatever age you are right now, reading this blog, is actually a long time in which you will have had plenty of opportunities to develop—evolve—into the person you are today. Whether your suggestibility is physical (direct and literal) or emotional (inference and metaphor), over time you have been acquiring, processing and acting upon various physical/sensory stimuli that have helped to mold your belief systems and behaviors. Furthermore, your sexual personality facilitates the attraction to another person with whom to eventually create a strong partnership bond. Then, if you choose, this relationship will facilitate the creation of your own family. From a strictly biological or even Darwinian perspective, such creation of new generations is the evolutionary goal of the human species.

But there is another, more recent, modern concept of evolution: self-growth. In the last 50 years or so, there have been many tremendous opportunities to achieve what 20^th Century psychologist Abraham Maslow described as “self-actualization.” According to his Hierarchy of Needs theory, once a person’s basic needs for survival and social integration are achieved the focus shifts to achieving personal goals such as self-fulfillment and realizing our potential for emotional and spiritual growth. Modern advances in science and technology have enabled us to learn more about different cultures and travel to far-away places and experience more “life” before settling down to raise a family. In the United States and many other Western countries and cultures, it is more acceptable to postpone starting a family to work on personal development and achieve personal goals, first. The advent of social media has enabled us to express ourselves and share our beliefs and opinions with a much wider audience than could previous generations. Without our ancestors’ and previous generations’ life experiences and technological advances that occurred during their lifetimes, it is unlikely that we would be able to enjoy these opportunities, either.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017