Wednesday, September 28, 2022

The Paris Window

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on February 24, 2017)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

One of my favorite techniques to help a client find out what is really going on in the person’s life—i.e., the cause or foundation of the issue he or she wishes to address—is the Paris Window. This is a diagram of a box containing four squares. Each square features a question that is designed to clarify and bring the subconscious issue/motivation behind the unwanted behavior into conscious awareness.

This is what a Paris Window looks like:

 

Q: How do you feel about the problem?

 

 

 

 

1.

Q: How do you think other people feel about your problem?

 

 

 

2.

Q: How do you feel about how other people feel about your problem?

 

 

 

3.

 

 

The Actual Problem

 

 

4.

 

I use the Paris Window during the cognitive (alert) portion of the hypnotherapy. It is a particularly effective way to discover any underlying, subconscious motivation(s) behind the person’s unwanted behaviors that may be preventing the desired behavior change. One benefit of this technique is that it is very visceral: the person can literally watch a story about the origins or basis of this subconscious resistance evolve while writing the responses to each question (ideomotor response). Once the issue is revealed, I discuss it with the client in terms of his or her beliefs and feelings about the problem/conflict, motivations to change or get rid of the unwanted behavior and strategies to accomplish this. Finally, when the person is in hypnosis, I incorporate specific suggestions in his or her hypnotic script to help the person implement these new beliefs or behaviors to help actualize this self-improvement goal.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

Tuesday, September 27, 2022

Getting Control in the Relationship

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on April 4, 2016)


Image courtesy of Microsoft

 

When it comes to relationships, Physical Sexual and Emotional Sexual partners have very different needs and desires. A Physical Sexual controls the Emotional Sexual partner with guilt. Relationships are very important to this personality, and if the relationship ever seems to be in jeopardy the Physical Sexual will do just about anything to rescue and preserve the relationship.

Whereas the Physical Sexual experiences very little guilt, the Emotional Sexual partner is laden with it, observed Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder Dr. John Kappas. Therefore, to maintain control in the relationship, the Physical Sexual partner must never release that hold until the person gets what he or she wants, he advised. The Physical Sexual is also easily hurt, such as in instances of betrayal, and can be vindictive. “They really hold onto that hurt,” he said.

Conversely, the Emotional Sexual controls a Physical Sexual partner by rejection or withholding emotion. The Emotional Sexual tends to be defensive and protective, and generally has difficulty expressing his or her true feelings, Dr. Kappas explained. Furthermore, the Emotional Sexual also gets over failed relationships fairly quickly. This personality tends to need more space and does not place as high a priority on relationships as the Physical Sexual tends to do. The more the Emotional Sexual withdraws to create more space for him- or herself in the relationship, the more desperate the Physical becomes to reconnect. Paradoxically, this behavior only irritates the Emotional Sexual partner, and he or she tends to withdraw from the partner even more.

Sex is another area where the Emotional and Physical partners tend to try to control each other, the hypnotherapist pointed out. Both male and female Physical Sexual partners crave closeness after intercourse, but an Emotional Sexual male wants to get his orgasm over with and move on to something else. Whereas a Physical Sexual female wants her partner to “prove” that he cares about her through intimacy, a Physical Sexual male can control his partner through his release (ejaculation), Dr. Kappas said. Finally, the Emotional Sexual female wants to figure out how to manipulate or control her Physically Sexual male partner.

“It’s a lot easier for a hypnotherapist to work with couples where there’s an Emotional Sexual female and a Physical Sexual male, because it’s easier to ‘mold’ the Emotional Sexual female than it is to mold the Emotional Sexual male. Plus, she suffers a lot of guilt,” Dr. Kappas said.

For more information about how to address the Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual personalities’ response to rejection, I invite you to check out my blog titled, Dealing With Rejection in Hypnotherapy.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

Thursday, September 22, 2022

The Best Time to Write Affirmations

 I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on January 6, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

A lot of people write affirmations to reinforce positive behaviors and attitudes that they have adopted to change and improve their lives. I write affirmations, and I encourage my hypnotherapy clients to do this as well.

The best time to write affirmations is 30 minutes after you wake up or 30 minutes before you drift off to sleep. These times are important because this is when your subconscious mind is most receptive to these messages. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between fantasy and reality, negative and positive, so be sure to use positive imagery and words that will reinforce your positive behaviors and attitudes. I also advise my clients to not watch or listen to the news or any programs/broadcasts that may contain negative or violent messages/imagery before bed.

        

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit my website

© 2022

It's Only the Wind: Anticipatory Anxiety and Equestrians

 I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on January 15, 2014)

 

Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

 

One of the first things people learn about horses is that these animals (can) shy or “spook” at anything and everything—but wind is Public Enemy Number One. Even if it is just an errant breeze rustling the leaves in a tree overhead on an otherwise still day, the breath catches in our lungs and our heart pounding in our chest. If the Santa Ana Winds snaps a tree bough nearby, all bets are off: we instinctively prepare our bodies to make an unscheduled dismount in case (when) our horses bolt and head back to the security of the barn. We tighten our grip and/or shorten the reins (to get better control of the horse’s head and try to prevent him from looking at anything), collapse our ribcage and assume a “fetal position,” as described by Sally Swift, look down at the ground (ostensibly to choose the perfect landing spot, just in case) and tighten every muscle in the body as we prepare to hang onto our panicked steed (if we can) as soon as he takes off.

Your subconscious mind is likely to send these kinds of instructions to your body if your subconscious mental script and previous experience, knowledge and expectations tell you that this is how your horse will react in a specific situation. Consequently, your anticipation of a possible problem, or “anticipatory anxiety,” will virtually guarantee that your horse will act like there is really a problem because your body has told him that there is one. Here are some suggestions and visualization exercises that I provide for equestrians to override this automatic fear response so you can both enjoy the ride.

  1. Be sure to eat some protein before you ride/work with your horse to help reduce anxiety and stabilize your mood. (For more information about the role of nutrition and anxiety, see my blog titled Nutrition and Development of Phobias).
  2. Spend a few minutes practicing deep-breathing exercises before you go out to work with or ride your horse. While you are relaxing in an area of peace and quiet, visualize, imagine or picture the kind of ride you want to have with your horse. Sit up straight and tall in the saddle. This posture enables you breathe deeply and easily, which will help you to relax. It also tells your subconscious mind that you are relaxed and confident.
  3. Think about/reflect on a very good ride or time that you recently spent with your horse. Bring up the positive images and emotions associated with that experience and then anchor that association by pressing or rubbing together the thumb and index (pointing) finger of either hand. You can activate this anchor any time to remind yourself how good, enjoyable, etc. it is to ride or be with your horse.
  4. Send/think only positive images and expectations about the ride you are about to have: “I am confident and relaxed when I am on my horse. I am having a great ride.” Only use adjectives and emotions in this imagery that will increase your confidence, sense of control, etc. for and during the ride.
  5. Reassure your horse that you are in control and are your horse’s leader during the ride. Give him plenty of ­physical/vocal rewards such as pats and praise, etc. to let him know that you are there and will take care of everything; all he needs to do is listen to you and do what you ask him to do. This physical and vocal contact isn’t just for your horse; it is also a way to comfort and reassure you, and reinforce your role of the brave, confident herd leader in your subconscious mind.
  6. Practice some simple mounted exercises such as figure-eights, lateral work, etc. so you must focus on riding and interacting with your horse and your horse must focus on you (not what is going on around him).
  7. Activate your finger-press anchor throughout the ride, as needed.

I hope these suggestions help you to relax and enjoy the time you spend with your horse, regardless of what is going on around you. I am not a riding instructor, and I encourage everyone to consult with a trainer or instructor to resolve riding and horse-related issues. However, I have found from personal experience as well as my hypnotherapy work with other equestrians that setting positive expectations for a good ride is the most effective way to achieve that goal. For more information about my hypnotherapy work with equestrians, please contact me via my website at www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

Tuesday, September 20, 2022

Hypnotherapy and Public Speaking: A Personal Experience

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on April 22, 2014)

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

This evening I came across the outline for my first-ever presentation about hypnosis. It had been an assignment for the Speech Craft class that my classmates and I took at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute a couple of months before graduation. In it, we learned all of the fine points of crafting and delivering an effective, impactful speech about some element of our new, future vocation as certified hypnotherapists. My speech was very basic: I included some personal information about me and my educational background in the introduction, and then I focused on how and why I decided to become a hypnotherapist. That should be easy, right? Not so fast.

Reading those notes again, 10 years later, I could still remember how nervous I felt while I composed the draft for that speech. As a rule, I did not like to speak in public. I hated to be the center of attention in any circumstance, as I knew I would have to be when I did my presentation. Finally, the instructor and my classmates would be grading my presentation, a prospect that not only exacerbated my anxieties about public speaking but also of taking tests.

Before I drove to class that night, I made sure that I ate a nutritious meal with protein to keep my blood-sugar level (and mood) stable, which I knew would help to lower my anxiety. I wore one of my most professional-looking skirt suits that always helped me feel confident. Once I was in class, I practiced diaphragmatic breathing to calm my nerves while I waited for my turn to speak.

When the instructor finally called me up to the podium to do my presentation, my mind flashed back to the best advice I have ever received about public speaking. The current director of HMI, George Kappas, M.A., C.Ht., once gave the class a pep-talk about public speaking and doing presentations on hypnosis and hypnotherapy to the general public. He reassured us that each of us would probably know more about this topic than anyone else in the room. He told us to relax and even suggested that we probably wouldn’t (shouldn’t) even need or want to use notes or notecards to prompt our speeches because, again, we would already be the experts on this topic. So, when I stepped up to the podium that night, I took his words to heart and allowed myself to own the room. Since this presentation was about me and my experience, I could be (and was) completely confident that I was the expert in the room about this topic. That night, I was finally able to overcome a personal challenge. To my surprise, I even created a new “known” in my subconscious mind: public speaking was fun!

Looking back, this class turned out to be one of my favorites on the hypnotherapy-certification program at HMI. First, the assignment made me face and overcome my fear and discomfort about public speaking and taking tests. Second, the experience of having to do a presentation gave me an invaluable opportunity to experience the efficacy of techniques that I now also use and teach to my clients to help them overcome similar fears and anxieties.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

Thursday, September 15, 2022

Passive-Aggression and the Fear of Success

 I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on July 10, 2014)

 

Photo by Sara Fogan

 

 

Passive-aggressive behavior is one of the most common ways that we sabotage ourselves. According to developmental psychologist Erik Erikson, it usually starts very early in life: between the ages of 3 and 6 years old (although as young as 18 months is possible). During this time, which Erikson characterized as the play-age/loco-motor stage of development, a child is learning the difference between right and wrong behavior, on his or her way to learning to become independent.

To facilitate healthy development at this stage, Erikson believed that children should be encouraged to be creative and use their imagination when they play. In addition, they should be allowed to play adult roles and assert their individuality by taking initiative and doing things on their own. Otherwise, they may develop a sense of guilt and believe that everything they do is “wrong.” When children are not allowed or is discouraged from expressing their feelings, they may try to punish their parents for causing this discomfort. When they continue this behavior as adults, however, they become the object of this punishment, Erikson warned.

“A passive-aggressive person first believes that asserting himself will cause him pain, so he backs off from people who challenge him,” John Kappas, Ph.D., explained. However, even if the individual initially seems very passive and cooperative, the objective in this behavior is to teach someone a lesson. Passive-aggression is self-sabotaging and is at the passive-aggressive person’s expense, such as quitting a job before being fired, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute explained.

For example, even if a person wants to have a successful career in a specific vocation, he or she may find reasons to not pursue this goal. The individual may decide that it is taking too long to achieve that goal, even though the person is already very good at this job. It may even be true that he or she could earn more money doing something else instead of wasting precious time learning pre-requisite skills to advance and achieve the desired career. But that is what the conscious mind—the area of will-power/free will, decision-making, reason and logic—says. This is what the subconscious mind, which still follows an early-life subconscious mental script, says: “You will never be good/talented/smart enough to do that.” This belief is the actual reason why the person will actually walk away from that “dream” job.

My role as this person’s hypnotherapist would be to change his or her mental script by helping to increase his or her self-confidence and perception of self-worth. I would also help the individual change the passive-aggressive tendencies to assertiveness by setting realistic career goals, following through with goals and reinforcing his or her new self-confidence (behaviors and beliefs). Finally, I would teach my client about the Mental Bank Concept and incorporate it in the person’s daily life to reinforce these new behaviors and perception (belief) of self-worth.

For more information about passive-aggressive behavior, read my blog titled “Passive-Aggressive Behavior.” You can also find out more about how the Mental Bank process works in my July 7, 2014 blog titled “Introduction to the Mental Bank Concept” or watch the free online video about this topic at http://www.hypnosis.edu/streaming/#Mental-Bank-Program.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

Wednesday, September 14, 2022

Dealing with Traumatic Memories

 I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on April 20, 2016)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

“Negative moments get remembered. Traumatic ones get forgotten.”

Leaving Time, Jodi Picoult

 

 

One of the great things about the mind is its capacity to help us deal with a painful or even traumatic event in our lives. On the one hand, the plasticity of the brain enables us to adapt to an uncomfortable environment and learn lessons from that experience to avoid getting into a similar situation in the future. On the other hand, the mind also naturally knows how to block out and even forget the memory of that event so we can continue to function and fulfill daily activities to facilitate our basic survival. In other words, this kind of case-specific amnesia functions like a life-saving balm.

For example: someone contacts me for hypnotherapy to overcome an intense fear of driving and being in a vehicle following a serious car crash. This person knows the facts about what happened but does not remember anything about the collision or the moments immediately afterward when firefighters had to cut him out of the vehicle with Jaws-of-Life equipment. That is okay. I do not need to know these details to create an effective hypnotic script that will help to increase the client’s comfort and self-confidence while driving or being in a car. In fact, this gap in the client’s conscious awareness of the crash facilitates the physiological and psychological healing process as he works toward achieving the avocational self-improvement goal of being comfortable behind the wheel.

Consequently, I do not use age-regression hypnosis to help a client access a repressed memory following a traumatic event. Doing so would be similar to ripping a scab off of a deep abrasion before the original wound has had a chance to heal. If and when the person is emotionally, physically and even spiritually ready to address what happened, these memories are likely to return organically in spontaneous flashes of recollection or through dreams. If and when that happens, I can use various hypnosis, therapeutic guided imagery and neuro-linguistic programming techniques to help the individual become desensitized to and deal with how these memories and consequences of this event. It may also be necessary to refer the client to a licensed mental-health provider and/or a physician for additional assessment and care if this issue falls outside of the scope of my expertise as a certified hypnotherapist.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

 

Tuesday, September 13, 2022

Eating Disorders Are Not an Extreme Diet

 

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on June 9, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

“I have it on very good authority that the quest for perfection our society demands can leave the individual gasping for breath at every turn. This pressure inevitably extends to the way we look. Eating disorders, whether it be anorexia or bulimia, show how an individual can turn the nourishment of the body into a painful attack on themselves.” – Diana, Princess of Wales

 

 

Recently, singer Meghan Trainor took her music label to task for altering her image. Apparently, the company digitally slimmed her waistline in the video of her song, “Me Too.” Trainor was happy and confident with her talent and her body image. Apparently, the record company had a different idea, which is why the tweak was ordered in the first place. Long story short, the video was promptly taken down and replaced with the original version, sans photo-shopped images and exactly how the singer wanted to be presented.

But not everybody has the opportunity or resources (internal or otherwise) to determine how to present herself and be perceived by others. With so many magazines and movies/television programs featuring uber-slim models and actors/actresses, it is not surprising that we integrate the message that this is how they should look. After all, that is the image the media and clothes designers want to promote. NBC’s popular weight-loss program, The Biggest Loser, makes the process of losing weight into a competition. In this case, the “winner” is the person who has dropped the most weight within the duration of the series (just a few months). Is it really surprising when someone takes these popular images and subconscious suggestions about the importance/value of looking like the beautiful people featured in the magazines, to an extreme? Apparently, there are websites devoted to the various ways a person can lose weight—including fasting and purging—and there are various dietary “supplements” available to suppress appetite and facilitate weight loss.

An eating disorder is not an extreme version of a diet or extreme over-eating at a meal. There are three basic categories of eating disorders: anorexia nervosa; bulimia; and compulsive eating. In the context of this essay, I will address just the first two. Each is a very complicated, dangerous condition that can cause severe physiological destruction and even death. The symptoms and etiology (medical/psychiatric origin) of each are addressed in the Diagnostics and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders, a basic reference guide for various psychiatric disorders. Typically, these conditions are out of scope of my or most other certified hypnotherapists’ professional expertise to address in hypnotherapy. To do so, I would have to receive a referral from the person’s (licensed) medical doctor and/or mental-health worker to work with the individual. Even then, my input as a hypnotherapist would be only to help the client fortify her or his self-confidence and self-esteem and reinforce new healthy-eating behaviors recommended by the person’s medical and psychiatric team. Ultimately, the treatment (management) of anorexia nervosa and bulimia is often a lifelong process which must be done under such medical supervision.

You can watch the late Princess of Wales’s entire speech about eating disorders at, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqNI9aRUb3k.

 

 


Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

Monday, September 12, 2022

When Physical Problems Show Up In Your Handwriting

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on May 2, 2017)

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

Handwriting reveals a lot about a person’s behavioral tendencies and attitudes, including propensity for stubbornness or over-analysis, levels of self-esteem and self-confidence, empathy and extroversion/introversion (see my blog titled All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1). It can also reveal if the writer is experiencing any physical or emotional issues. When a stick-figure “body” is drawn over a letter, the body-part that is affected will show up as a weak (faint) or wriggling stroke or line in the corresponding area of the letter. For example, when my former editor had appendicitis, the lower-right quadrant of all of the oval letters in his writing—o, a, b, g, p—were faint or had a tiny gap, until after his surgery and he was healed.  A potential problem may also be reflected if the corresponding area of the letter is very thick and/or has a trailing line (end-stroke).

In accordance with the California Business and Professions Code 2908, if a client mentions a symptom or behavior that is out of my scope of expertise as a certified hypnotherapist I always refer the person to a licensed medical or mental health professional for further evaluation. I do not use handwriting analysis to diagnose medical or mental-health issues and always defer to the expertise of the professionals in those fields to provide diagnostic and continuing care.

That being said, following are some examples of how a physiological or psychological issue may be revealed in a handwriting sample:

  •        If the person has a problem with the feet or legs, the writing will show a break (gap) in the stem or at the bottom of a loop. Weakness in the upper or lower torso will be reflected in a corresponding break in the upper- or lower-middle part of the loop, etc.
  •        Affecting words or symptoms of a specific disease, such as cancer or arthritis, will be written at a downward angle (baseline slant). This indicates that the person is trying to get rid of an illness or condition. Negativity and pessimism are also manifested in downward-angle writing.
  •        The tendency to squeeze letters in a word close together, presence of a checkmark (√) at the base of the stem and has a weak/faint “i” in the writing suggests that person is holding back sexually.
  •        Emotional/Psychological problems are revealed in openings (gaps) at the bottom of a letter—especially an “o” and an “a”—which indicate incongruent behavior.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

 

 

Thursday, September 8, 2022

Slow Down to Speed Up

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

(This blog was originally posted on September 28, 2014)


Image courtesy of Microsoft/Bing

 

 

Have you ever noticed how it takes twice as long to complete a task when you rush to get it done? Whether it is finishing a homework assignment or a big project for work, somehow something goes wrong at the last, worst possible moment and totally messes up your projected deadline. What if you could avoid all that hassle in the first place and meet your deadline with time to spare?

The Automobile Association of America has a great television advertisement that perfectly illustrated this point. In it, someone in a flashy car speeds past another vehicle. At first, it seems like the driver in the second car gets ahead, but then he is stopped at an intersection with the driver in the original car waiting for the light to change. This pattern is repeated the same way several more times until the message becomes clear: driving fast and recklessly doesn’t get anyone ahead; in fact, it may cause more inconvenience (and waste more gas) than the apparent rush is worth. Similarly, in an episode of the police drama, Rookie Blue, one of the characters reminded an officer he had trained why he once insisted she take a sip of coffee or a bite of her sandwich before getting out of the squad car. Sergeant Shaw wanted her to take those extra couple of seconds so the other officer could mentally prepare herself for dealing with regardless of the situation she would be facing outside. The crime scene would still be there, he explained, but the officer needed to calm down and plan what she needed to do to apprehend the suspect or else risk getting seriously hurt or even killed making the arrest.

Often, when we are under pressure to complete a task, we rush through or even skip important steps so we can get the job out of the way and move onto other more interesting or “fun” things. Monty Roberts, an award-winning horse trainer and author, often advises: “Give yourself fifteen minutes and it will take an hour; give yourself an hour and it will take fifteen minutes.” In other words, when we work carefully and conscientiously—focusing only on the task at hand—we are in a better position to get the job done quickly and usually on the first try. However, when we rush through the job to meet a self-imposed or official deadline, we are more likely to neglect important steps to complete the task which may ultimately undermine it.

An unintentional byproduct of rushing to complete a task is that we can put ourselves into hypnosis. Consider John G. Kappas, Ph.D.’s definition of hypnosis: “Hypnosis is created by an overload of message units, disorganizing our inhibitory process (Critical Mind), triggering our fight-flight mechanism and ultimately resulting in a hyper-suggestible state, providing access to the subconscious mind.” When we rush around trying to meet a deadline, our minds are already whirling practically out of control as we consider what we need to get done and if/how many steps we can get away with “leaving out.” Even if we do not intend to take a short-cut to finish the task, in this naturally induced hypnotic state we may neglect an important step because our subconscious (not conscious) mind has taken over the behavior. We have literally “escaped” into hypnosis to avoid the anxiety and stress we feel trying to complete that project.

Unfortunately, the stress we consciously and subconsciously tried so hard to reduce or avoid is likely to reappear, and be even more intense, when we rush to just “get it done.” When we take those extra few seconds or even an entire hour, at the end of the day the fastest way to accomplish a goal is to slow down.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

  


Wednesday, September 7, 2022

Hypnotherapy and Negative Self-Perceptions

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 


(This blog was originally posted on February 1, 2016)


Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

"People are constantly changing and growing. Do not cling to a limited, disconnected, negative image of a person in the past." – Brian Weiss

 

 

When I saw that quote on a Twitter feed, I knew I had found my blog topic for the day. In addition to holding onto an outdated image of others, we often carry around the baggage of similarly disconnected and negative images of ourselves. The longer you held that perception, the more time your subconscious mind was bombarded with chatter to reinforce that negative opinion of yourself. Ironically, you may be the only person who continues to see yourself in that old light; but other people’s perceptions alone are not powerful enough to not persuade the subconscious mind to change a long-held belief about personal worth. No matter how much work you have put into changing or getting rid of an unwanted habit or belief, it can seem really tough to completely evict the negative perception about yourself that went along with that old behavior.

But tough is not impossible, and hypnotherapy is a very effective way to dismantle the subconscious mental scripts that no longer reflect the person you are and want to be.

A lot of these negative belief systems about perceived futility of change come from and are reinforced by low self-esteem and low self-confidence. If the person believes that he or she has or can never make a positive life change, lack of experience in actualizing a previous change in behavior only reinforces this negative belief system. Through hypnosis and therapeutic guided imagery, I help my clients imagine how it feels to be able to completely and effectively make the new, desired behavior changes. Since the subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is reality or pretend, it is ideal to practice and reinforce these new behaviors while in hypnosis, where a new positive mental script can be written.

Hypnotherapy and therapeutic guided-imagery techniques are also effective tools to further dismantle the former negative beliefs and replacing them with powerful new mental scripts to reinforce the client’s self-power, confidence and willingness to embrace the desired behavior change. Every time you “practice” the new desired behavior, confidence in your ability to make the desired change continues to grow and the realization that self-directed change is possible further increases self-esteem. Over time, repeated reinforcement of the new subconscious mental script—“I can do X, I am worthy, etc.”—replaces the negativity and self-doubt until you also believe that your power to change and the changes you have made are here to stay.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

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