(This blog was originally posted on March 10, 2015)
|Image courtesy of Microsoft/Bing|
I recently came across the following quote from One Fit Widow, which a friend had pasted onto my Facebook page: “If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door.” How many times have experienced this philosophy? I wondered.
How many times have you experienced it?
One of my favorite lines in The Sound of Music is when Maria (Julie Andrews) says, “Wherever the Lord shuts a door somewhere He opens a window.” A more recent example comes from Katy Perry’s hit song, Firework: “Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed so you could open one that leads you to the perfect road.” Both are examples of such an optimistic, encouraging and hopeful philosophy that everything will work out in the end. I completely believe that it is true; however, there are often times in our lives when we have reason to seriously doubt that our desired outcome can or will ever be achieved. What do we do, then?
When I was applying to different universities to pursue my post-graduate degree, my academic advisor told me something very important: “If one of these colleges rejects your application, it might be because they are not a good fit for you.” I invite you to think about that concept for a moment. Her words echo the common break-up platitude, “It’s not you; it’s me.” But, why shouldn’t that be true? Over the years this insight has proved to be very sage counsel in various situations.
Whether we’re trying to land that dream job, be accepted to our first-choice college or join that super-cool group of kids at school, sometimes there isn’t a comfortable fit between all parties. Furthermore, no matter how hard we work to try and fit in with a certain group or organization, there may still be friction, frustration and disappointment. Too often, our first reaction/thought when something goes wrong in or with our conscious mind’s Great Plan is to blame ourselves for the perceived failure to achieve that very-important goal. We ask ourselves over and over again, “What did I do wrong? Why doesn’t he/she like me? What else can I do to fit in?” The situation quickly embodies that proverbial attempt to fit a square peg into a round hole.
The key to finding the perfect fit is to reframe the question—“Which one of those doors is mine to walk through?”—and be able to recognize it when that opportunity presents itself to you. Hypnotherapy and therapeutic-guided imagery are great tools to help you let go of goals or situations that haven’t worked for you while becoming open to the right opportunities for you that are coming your way. During your sessions, I will teach you simple breathing and relaxation exercises that you can use to reduce stress and create a personalized hypnotic script to reinforce specific suggestions for creating opportunities to achieve your goal that are perfect for you. I will also provide a recording of your hypnosis session that you can listen to and reinforce the relaxation techniques and goal-actualization strategies that we worked on during your hypnotherapy session.
And as for being able to recognize the “right” door for you… Don’t worry: You will. Because when that relationship does work—when your first-choice (or even second- or third-choice) college sends you that long-awaited acceptance letter and enrollment packet, or you are offered that “dream job”—you will notice how easily everything falls into place. Suddenly all of the details surrounding your situation look and feels indescribably right from every angle. You find that your path forward is easy and opening up more opportunities to you. The best part of this journey is noticing how you can now look back at those days, weeks or even years of waiting for that golden opportunity with affection. You may even find that you appreciate the work, patience and frustration you experienced during that time of waiting and supposed “missed opportunities” because these are what enabled that proverbial window or door to open for you.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.