Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Modes of Communication

(This blog was originally posted on June 7, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

It took me a long time to come up with a topic for this blog.

While I waited for my temporary writer’s block to pass, I stayed busy catching up on my e-mail and social-media accounts and mulled over possible topics. In the background, my iPod was tuned into the “Love Songs” broadcast on KOST 103.5 FM. One of the hosts had posed a question for listeners. She wanted to know: What is the one thing you require in a future long-term partner before you commit to having the relationship with that person? Some callers said the prospective partner needed to share the same religious beliefs or political beliefs with them. Others cited a mutual desire for children (or not) was the priority. Financial security was another big factor. Listening to these responses inspired today’s essay: Communication.

Obviously, the caller and his or her prospective partner or spouse would have needed to have a conversation or some other mode of discussion to discover whether they were truly on the same page with this priority. The way this information was exchanged would have also likely influenced how and whether it was perceived, interpreted and processed. Did one or both of them have the same level of enthusiasm/passion/dedication to this position? Was one or both of them willing to compromise or change a behavior to accommodate the other person’s goals and nurture the relationship? If so, how was this negotiated? Or, was a negotiation even possible? In some cases, apparently, it was not.

As I listened to the callers’ anecdotes, it also occurred to me that they were still communicating with the significant other, not to mention the radio host and the thousands of people listening to the program. Many of these callers had selected a specific song to play for the loved one—something with lyrics that epitomized the other person’s characteristics or paid tribute to aspects of the relationship. Whenever someone didn’t have a song picked out, the deejay made the choice for the caller based on the information he or she provided.

There it was, again: communication.

Of all the things we do during the day, communication is one of the most significant activities or even pastimes we engage in. Think about the number of conversations you have during the average day. Whether you are talking to your spouse, your kid(s), a pet, a boss or colleague, etc., you are communicating in some way. Writing a letter, text message or e-mail, “reacting” to someone or something on Facebook or Twitter are all forms of communication. Even non-communication is a form of communication. When we give someone a cold shoulder or the silent treatment is a way to express (communicate) displeasure, anger or annoyance. 

It is no wonder that good communication is one of the seven key components to a successful relationship.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
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