Sunday, July 6, 2014

Follow Your Own Path

Photo courtesy of PresentationPro


 
                It is easy—too easy—to get carried away while planning somebody else’s life. From the moment a baby is born, its proud relatives start imagining the kind of fulfilling, exciting and successful life this new person will ultimately live. Will Baby grow up to be President of the United States one day? Will Baby become a doctor, lawyer, soldier, police officer or firefighter like Mom or Dad? Maybe our newborn is destined to live a life in the limelight as an actor or, even marry the heir to a throne in Europe and will become a monarch one day. (Hey, it’s happened before, why not to our tot?)

                There are a few problems with this fantasy game. First, each person who “plays” it can only project the possibilities that already exist as knowns in his or her mind. It is common to imagine your young child or loved one follow a similar life path as your own, because this is what you already know; this is your comfort zone. If you have chosen the same career as one of your parents, this association is likely to be reinforced even more: “Of course, Baby will do this, since generations of our family are already in this career!” Maybe Baby will do that; he or she will receive plenty of conscious and subconscious message units about this vocation, and is likely to nurture a subconscious mental script about it. But, what if other people’s plan for you isn’t what you truly want for yourself? What if you don’t even know what you want to do, or change your mind (and switch careers) down the road? How do you break this news to your “very disappointed” family?

                The second problem with this fantasy game is that each person may be influenced to pursue a life path that in which parents/caretakers and other relatives have no experience at all. For example, I decided that I wanted to be a psychologist at the tender age of 11. This decision was actually inspired by another student in my sixth-grade class who declared that this was what she wanted to do. I honestly didn’t know much about psychology back then, but I must have decided that career sounded pretty cool, and declared “psychology” as my college major eight years later.

The third problem with this game is that none of us know where our lives will ultimately take us, even when we have a definite career or life/lifestyle in play. Ten years after I earned a research Master’s degree in psychology in another country, I was working as an editor of a martial arts magazine when I finally found my way back to my original choice of vocation. Well, not the original choice, but very close. The day I started my training to become a hypnotherapist, I realized that this was the work I really wanted to do and should be doing. Perhaps my decision to abandon what could have been a very successful career in journalism was impulsive, impetuous and even short-sighted; but I have never looked back.

My young nephews recently also announced what they would like to do when they grow up. My family often has fun imagining ways that they can (or will) achieve their goals. In fact, we recently went to town embellishing details of how the youngest boy’s career can and will be successful (and fun for us, too). I know that’s not fair to him; he may well change his mind about what he wants to do, anyway. There was a time when I thought I would like to be a writer. One of my friends still (occasionally) tells me that I should be an author and how disappointed he is that I didn’t choose writing as my vocation. Whatever. I know that I made the right decision for me. There is really nothing like the feeling of doing what you know you want to do, what you are meant to do and what you truly enjoy doing.

If it takes a long and winding road to get where you know you are meant to be, so much the better.

                 

 

 

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/