Welcome: 10/15/19

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

How Passive-Aggressive Behavior Affects Motivation

(This blog was originally posted on August 29, 2016)

Photo by Sara Fogan

According to Erik Erickson’s Stages of Development model, passive-aggressive behavior begins when a child is between three to six years old (Loco-Motor stage), when he or she is just starting to become independent. The youngster also learns about guilt and initiative at this time. Erickson observed that if a child is punished or discouraged from expressing initiative, he or she would try to sabotage the parents. For example, the individual might wet or soil the pants instead of going to the bathroom despite having been toilet trained. This kind of passive-aggressive behavior carries over into adulthood as a way to subtly hurt or frustrate someone as if to teach a lesson to the other person. However, it is ultimately the person who behaves in this passive-aggression way who suffers the most.

John Kappas, Ph.D., considered passive-aggressive behavior part of a “losing syndrome” in which the person subconsciously always expects to fail because he or she was never allowed or encouraged to succeed at a task, or was even punished for being assertive. An example of passive-aggressive behavior in adulthood is an employee saying or doing something at work that contradicts the workplace environment/culture that jeopardizes the individual’s chances of promotion or even gets the person fired.

In the above example, Dr. Kappas worked with a man who sought hypnotherapy to increase his motivation about his job and stop procrastinating. The client conceded that he had had 20 jobs over the years; despite feeling optimistic and believing he would succeed at the beginning of each employment, it ultimately wouldn’t work out. When asked why the jobs didn’t work, the client blamed his co-workers when something went wrong; or, he became bored very quickly if he didn’t feel challenged if the job didn’t pay well.

To help the client work through these issues, the hypnotherapist identified and pointed out common denominators between the unwanted behavior (procrastination and low motivation) and the man’s passive-aggressive tendencies. Examples included tardiness to work, tendency to daydream, avoidance of responsibility and failing to show up at meetings or appointments. Next, Dr. Kappas recommended specific dietary changes to stabilize the client’s blood-sugar level and reduce anxiety and frustration, and gave him positive suggestions for future personal growth and appreciation of his abilities. Finally, Dr. Kappas introduced him to the Mental Bank Concept to increase the client’s motivation and sense of self-worth.

“Passive aggressiveness gets worse as the person gets older,” warned the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder, which is why it is so important to obviate these behaviors sooner than later to ensure continued growth and opportunities for self-improvement.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

How the Body Expresses Extreme Emotional Trauma

(This blog was originally posted on August 1, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

When trauma or extreme emotional distress occurs, if the person cannot (verbally) express and work through and resolve feelings about the event, these emotions may be manifested as physical symptoms. As I explained in a previous blog titled Body Syndromes, these symptoms are likely to occur in areas of the body that correspond to the trauma or presenting issue. For example, if a woman is raped she may subsequently experience vaginal tightness that prevents any kind of sexual pleasure and even find intercourse painful.

When psychologist and hypnotherapist John Kappas, Ph.D., treated these symptoms in hypnotherapy, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder recommended explaining how the client’s subconscious denial of the rape may have contributed to these symptoms. If appropriate and if she was ready to deal with the trauma, a hypnotherapist could help her go through the stages of loss during hypnotherapy, he said.

Dr. Kappas also advised including the client’s husband/partner in the therapy using the Systems Approach even if the other person is not present during the sessions. This inclusion is necessary because the client’s past trauma is likely affecting their sexual relationship; or, finally confronting the emotional trauma caused by the rape, in therapy, may have repercussions on the current relationship.

“It’s possible that removing the denial will reveal traumas,” the HMI founder warned. Therefore, the hypnotherapist must correct the client’s denial mechanism but not remove it completely. The hypnotherapist would also need to bring up more of her physical suggestibility to help her work through her physical symptoms*, he added.

*California law allows access by California residents to complementary and alternative health care practitioners who are not providing services that require medical training and credentials. The purpose of a program of hypnotherapy is for vocational and avocational self-improvement (Business and Professions Code 2908) and as an alternative or complementary treatment to healing arts services licensed by the state. A hypnotherapist is not a licensed physician or psychologist, and hypnotherapy services are not licensed by the state of California. Services are non-diagnostic and do not include the practice of medicine, neither should they be considered a substitute for licensed medical or psychological services or procedures.