(This blog was originally posted on February 23, 2017)
|Photo by Rick Hustead|
It is still about two months away, but April 15 (Tax Day)—or, April 17, this year—feels much closer for a lot of us. Whether you are meeting with accountants and preparing to write those checks or the CPA helping others negotiate tax season, this is a great opportunity to remind you to be kind to yourself and start doling out those “Twinkies.”
In this case, I am not referring to the Hostess Twinkie cake but a concept introduced by John Kappas, Ph.D. Rather, a Twinkie is the concept Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder used to represent a metaphoric reward for a behavior or attitude that may feel like a sacrifice to the other person but takes some considerable stress off you. In the context of paying or preparing to pay annual taxes, an Emotional Sexual individual may be experiencing extra stress as he or she balances the budget and looks for ways to eke out extra money to send to the government in April. As I explained in my essay titled All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 3, an Emotional Sexual’s primary focus is always financial security. If the person is worried or preoccupied about something to do with his or her career or money, this person will not have time or patience for anything else until this issue is resolved. This is not good news for the Physical Sexual partner, who becomes anxious and gets hurt feelings if romantic overtures are ignored or rebuffed.
To prevent misunderstanding and unnecessary conflict and increase physical desire between you and your partner, Dr. Kappas recommended that each individual “give a Twinkie” (a metaphoric treat or favor) in the form of a desired behavior, from time to time. For example, the Physical Sexual partner can give the person time and space to work on those W-2, 1099, etc., forms without interrupting the other person to complete household chores or even for physical intimacy. (The Emotional probably isn’t interested in that right now, anyway.) In return, the other person can send love notes, have flowers delivered or set a date to share a romantic meal with the Physical partner to show that he or she is still thinking about the other person. Not only will these kinds of behaviors take pressure off, the subconscious gratitude each person feels for being allowed to satisfy core personality traits will increase sexual desire and willingness to express loving/affectionate feelings for the other person, later.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.