(This
blog was originally posted on June 27, 2016)
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| Photo by Rick Hustead |
Rapport between the hypnotherapist and the client is a
key component of therapeutic success. One way to build rapport between them is
for the client to know that the information disclosed to the hypnotherapist is
that this information is confidential. (An exception to this protocol is if the
client expresses an intention to harm him- or herself or another person. In
that context, the hypnotherapist is obligated to inform authorities and/or warn
the intended victim of this danger.) But if a client discloses that he or she
had or is having an affair the hypnotherapist must honor the person’s trust and
not disclose this information to the spouse/significant other.
Hypnosis Motivation
Institute founder John Kappas,
Ph.D. advised the client to not tell the
spouse/partner about the infidelity if the person wanted to preserve the
marriage if this disclosure was likely to destroy that relationship. During the
cognitive portion of the hypnotherapy session the hypnotherapist must help the
client understand the nature of Emotional
and Physical Sexuality and how the person’s
having an affair fits into this model. For example, an Emotional Sexual
personality may have an affair because he or she has become bored or frustrated
in the marriage.
It is important that the client “buys” the symptoms or
behaviors of these personalities in order to understand why he or she was
unfaithful. Dr. Kappas explained: “An Emotional
[Sexual] male doesn’t feel guilty about
cheating, just that the other person will feel hurt. The Emotional male has
probably already replaced [his wife], but he’s not too concerned about the mistress
because he usually doesn’t end up with her. But once he thinks about the
futility of the behavior in therapy, he usually returns to the relationship.”
Conversely, an Emotional Sexual male wouldn’t believe that his wife would be
unfaithful, and it is difficult for a Physical
Sexual male to tell the Emotional Sexual female
that he has had an affair.
The hypnotherapist should also explain to the client how
each sexual personality response to frustration in a relationship and the
perception/fear of being abandoned. A Physical Sexual will also leave a relationship if he
or she is bored or the Emotional Sexual partner “set it up” that way by
rejecting the partner until he or she leaves the marriage, etc. However, a
Physical Sexual may become even more locked into the failing relationship if he
or she feels rejected, the HMI founder warned. “Never tell a Physical Sexual to leave a
relationship; it won’t work,” he said.
In tomorrow’s blog I will describe how hypnotherapy can
be used to help the client salvage or end the marriage/original partnership
depending on the person’s relationship goals.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified
hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors
from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information
about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2018
