Wednesday, June 18, 2014

What to Do When Self-Confidence Takes a Hit




            Self-confidence is a quality that some people seem to have in spades. No matter what challenge is at hand, they jump right into the fray to participate without worrying about what others think or might say about this show of enthusiasm. The only thing that matters is having an opportunity to do something they enjoy and/or believe that they can accomplish. They manifest the mantra, “What other people think of me is none of my business.” So, why isn’t everyone so confident?

            Confidence, like almost every other belief and behavior, is a learned response. But guess what: even people who seen to exude this trait from every pore can lose it from time to time. The key to their continued success is that they know how and what to do to get back into the game and recoup that lost mojo.

Following are some tips to help boost your self-confidence and override any influences that may negatively affect your performance:


·         Practice diaphragmatic breathing: inhale through the nostrils to draw the air (and oxygen) deep into your lungs, hold the breath for four seconds and then slowly release the air through your mouth. You can tell that you are doing this technique correctly because your shoulders remain still but your tummy expands when you breathe in and flattens again when you breathe out. Exhale on the thought or word “confidence,” or any other word or image that represents confidence to you.

·         While you are breathing this way, think about a time(s) when you accomplished a similar or other “big” goal. How did it feel (physical sensations, emotional response) when you first realized that you had succeed? Once you have a good image of this success in your mind, press your thumb and index finger together as you exhale on your image of confidence (this success).

·         Do the Emotional Freedom Technique to reinforce your commitment to loving and respecting yourself as you work through and overcome this issue. EFT is very easy to learn, and it is a very effective tool to help people overcome a variety of blocks, negative behaviors, etc. For more information about EFT, check out the website at www.eftuniverse.org.

·         Do something (physical or mental) that you know you are good at and enjoy. Take a walk, go for a swim or even solve a Rubik’s Cube® if that is your area of expertise. Choose an activity you know can accomplish, which will increase your self-confidence and reinforce your subconscious mind’s association between self-confidence and success.

·         Remember who you are. Whoever you are and wherever you come from, you have something to offer to the other people around you. Perhaps that something is an unusual personal experience or philosophy; maybe it is that talent which you have temporarily forgotten how to access but are working on retrieving that skill. If you are an employee, consider your skills that earned your job offer. If you are the owner of a company, think about everything you did to make the business what it is and attract people to want to work with and for you. If you are a performer or artist, remember the work you have produced that people are willing to pay to see or even own.

Finally, be sure to drink plenty of water, avoid caffeine and alcohol, and eat foods that contain protein to minimize your anxiety and keep your mood even. It is important to have some protein in your diet because this substance helps to prevent a drop in blood-sugar level, which can exacerbate any anxiety you may be feeling and further sabotage your self-confidence. For more information about the relationship between nutrition and anxiety, please visit my “Nutrition and Hypnotherapy” blog (January 14, 2014).



 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014