To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus and COVID-19 variants, I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. Meanwhile, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!
(This blog was originally posted on February
4, 2016)
In my previous blogs titled All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1 and All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 2, I described characteristics of John
Kappas, Ph.D.’s cornerstone
therapeutic model, Emotional and Physical Sexuality. Once you understand how
behaviors and motivations of the respective partners affects a relationship,
this model can help improve the relationship or even amicably separate from a
partner if the relationship has run its course. The Hypnosis
Motivation Institute founder used
this model to successfully help thousands of hypnotherapy clients to negotiate
conflicts in their romantic and personal relationships.
Following is a summary of how the Emotional Sexual and
Physical Sexual partner behaves in a relationship.
Emotionals vs. Physicals
- Emotional Sexual individuals don’t like to confront their partner. Physical Sexual individuals have no problem asking for or “demanding” what they want and need.
- Guilt controls the Emotional Sexual partner. The Physical Sexual partner feels actual, physical pain during a break-up, but when the relationship is over an Emotional “seems” to move on to a new relationship. (A bad break-up can take the Physical out of the dating game for a very long time in some cases, or subconsciously “chooses” another Physical partner because the previous experience with the Emotional lover/end of relationship was so traumatic.)
- The Emotional Sexual partner has 3-day cycles for sexual receptiveness. Day “3” is optimal for sexual intimacy/likelihood of the Emotional Sexual to solicit sexual contact from the partner. On day 3, the Emotional Sexual is most “Physical” (sub-dominance).
- Sex and the relationship are two different/separate things for the Emotional Sexual partner. The Emotional Sexual can compartmentalize: “It’s ‘just’ sex” with a mistress.
- Sex and the relationship are the one and the same for the Physical Sexual partner. A Physical Sexual person can’t imagine being sexually intimate without “feeling” an emotional connection with the other person.
- BOTH the
Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual partner wants control in the relationship
but go about getting it in different ways. For example, the Physical
Sexual partner shouts/pouts/makes demands for more attention. Conversely,
the Emotional Sexual Partner freezes out/ignores the Physical Sexual
partner, which makes the Physical Sexual partner become even more needy—shouting/making
demands until one of them walks away from the relationship or reconciles
the difference.
The goal of the Physical Sexual partner is to raise the Emotional
partner’s subdominant (Physical Sexual) trait in order to receive the affection
and attention that he or she needs and craves. The goal of the Emotional Sexual
partner is to lower the Physical Sexual partner’s physicality in order to give
the Emotional more “space” to feel desire and come forward. To reduce negative tension and
increase physical desire between the Emotional and Physical Sexual partners,
Dr. Kappas recommended that each individual “give a Twinkie” ( a metaphoric
treat or favor) in the form of a desired behavior, from time to time. For example:
- The Physical Sexual partner can give the Emotional partner “space” to do his/her own thing for a little while or be an asset to the Emotional partner’s career.
- The Emotional Sexual partner can send love notes to the Physical partner, have flowers delivered, etc. to show that he/she is thinking about the other person even when not in the mood for physical intimacy.
- Understanding the 3-day cycle and planning intimacy around this is “giving a Twinkie” as well. Physical partner is usually responsible for this gesture because the Physical is most likely to feel/be sensitive to Emotional partner’s inadvertent rejection on Day 1 and Day 2 of the sexual cycle.
- The Emotional partner has 3-day cycles for sexual receptiveness. Day “3” is optimal for sexual intimacy/likelihood of the Emotional to solicit sexual contact from the partner. On day 3, the Emotional is most “Physical” (sub-dominance).
- Cubicle release: Emotional wants a strong sensation/ultimate sexual experience to really “feel” intimate with the partner. 1 ejaculation vs. 3 ½ for the physical partner, who can ejaculate in smaller volumes to have many experiences.
- “Buy the symptoms” of the opposite behavior: When the Emotional is cycling, it’s not about you (the Physical partner). It’s about cycle days, so give the Emotional partner the space to come to you (the physical partner). If the Emotional partner only encounters the Physical partner on a cycle day, he/she can feel even more physical. This good experience shortens the length of time between cycle days.
References
Kappas, Ph.D., John G. Relationship Strategies: The E & P Attraction. Panorama Publishing, Tarzana, California. © 1992.
Special Offer: Intensive
Hypnotherapy to Quit Smoking
This
session lasts approximately 2 hours. You must be smoking 5 cigarettes
or fewer per day and have previously completed the First Hypnotherapy
session with me to participate in this program. Relevant handouts and a free,
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session. The Intensive Hypnotherapy to Quit Smoking session costs $275.
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same time ($440 total). This promotional discount may not be combined with
any other discount or discount package. It is not redeemable for cash. Expires
on October 31, 2021.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist
based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation
Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best
Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (July 2019,
September 2020, July 2021). For more information about Calminsense
Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
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