And the Wisdom to Know the Difference

(This blog was originally posted on April 4, 2014)

 

 

                Sometimes, it seems like one of the most powerful human desires is the one for control. We want to control some aspect(s) of our social or physical environment. We want to control our behavior. (Hey, that’s what hypnotherapy is good for, right?) Or, we want to control (change) someone else’s behavior. Can hypnotherapy help you achieve each of these goals?

My scope of expertise as a hypnotherapist is to help my clients achieve vocational and avocational self-improvement goals. There is really no way to control or change specific aspects of a physical environment—such as the weather or climate where we live—unless we physically move out of the area. Most of us can’t even rearrange the furniture or décor in the lobby at work without having to get permission from the employer and/or the building’s landlord. Similarly, none of us has the ability to control someone else’s behaviors or beliefs if that individual doesn’t want to make this change. However, we can use hypnotherapy and guided imagery techniques to help us replace our own unwanted habits or belief systems with behaviors that are more effective for us. The skills you practice and learn in hypnosis can also help you adapt to, cope with and even flourish in a challenging personal, social or work situation over which you have no control. Your ability to remain relaxed, focused and calm in this context will significantly reduce or even eliminate any personal effects that the tension in this situation may cause you. You may even find that this ability to control your emotions in this way indirectly influences (changes) the way other people around you behave.

Before the next scheduled interaction with the person or exposure to that environment, work with me in hypnotherapy to help you desensitize to the negative stimuli associated with that encounter. Give yourself permission to let go of any grudges, bitterness or other negative associations you have with this situation. Give the other person(s) permission to own their critical, negative, etc., nature or beliefs that they have previously expressed to you. Then, visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you are as relaxed, calm and focused when you have that encounter as you are while you are in hypnosis. Anchor that image of yourself responding in a positive, confident and controlled way with the relaxed and comfortable sensation you are enjoying in hypnosis so you can access your new calm and “in control” demeanor when you need to. Even if the other person’s behavior or attitude does not significantly change at that time, you will be better equipped to deal with that challenge.

I liken this attitude and technique to the Serenity Prayer. Most of the time, each of us can change our behavior and, in so doing, truly change a negative or challenging situation into a positive or mutually rewarding experience. Sometimes, we can do absolutely nothing about the circumstance except to just get through it by changing the way we perceive and respond to it. The key to a successful outcome in either circumstance is having the wisdom to know what kind of attitude adjustment we can make at that moment.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

 

The Power of Thinking

(This blog was originally posted on March 7, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

 

                The first time I saw my future dream home, I was riding in the back of a taxi on my way to a job interview for the Public Health Medicine Department at the University of Hull in 1995. Through the heavy rain, I spotted a three-story, Georgian-style home with bay windows set behind a brick wall on the main road. Lush, green ivy grew up a trellis on one of the walls. There was a circular, gravel driveway and a wrought-iron gate in front of the house which made the property look like it belonged in a Jane Austen novel. In my mind, the property was the epitome of “England.” I wonder who lives there. I would love to live there, I remember thinking. Three weeks later, I returned to the same neighborhood looking for a flat to rent when I started my new job at the university. I could hardly believe my luck when I found an advertisement for an apartment on the property I had so admired. The rent was even within my (new) budget, and I quickly signed the lease.

                Eight years later, a friend at work invited me to visit her property and meet her horse. I had loved horses since I was a very little girl, and always knew that somehow, some way, I would have one of my own. Within a month I started taking riding lessons at a property across the street (literally) from my colleague’s home; by the end of the year—thanks to her recommendation—I was buying my first horse from my new riding instructors.

By the end of the following year, I had also started my hypnotherapy certification at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. An HMI representative told me about his work as a hypnotherapist and encouraged me to “try” the free introductory course at the college. The idea of hypnotizing people was definitely an “unknown” and even a little daunting to my conscious and subconscious minds when I started the class. However, everything about hypnotherapy resonated with what I imagined I would be doing when, at eight years old, I announced that I wanted to be a psychologist when I grew up. When I learned that I already had a connection with the college through the company where I was working at that time, I just knew that I was on the right path to fulfilling my destiny.

                Are these examples of good fortune? Were they products of divine intervention? Or, were they testimony to the power of the mind to actualize a subconscious desire or script at work? I say the power of the subconscious mind, every time.

                In his book, Success Is Not an Accident: The Mental Bank Concept, HMI founder John Kappas, Ph.D., explains how the mental scripts we program into our subconscious mind determine the outcome of our actions. Whether we imagine a positive or negative result, the SCM follows that subconscious mental script to actualize the goal you “want.” If you tell yourself that it takes an hour to get to work every day or that you are bound to jam your knee on your friend’s coffee table again, that is what will happen. If you imagine that you will have a safe, easy commute to work or that you will find a great spot to park your call when you go to the mall, your SCM will work to make those things happen, too. Moral of the story: be careful and specific in what you want and think about, because you are likely to end up with exactly that.

                Have you ever heard the Hollywood story about the time actor/comedian Jim Carrey wrote himself a $15 million check years before he became famous (and very wealthy)…?

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

Your Own Room

 

                In my blog titled 7 Keys to a Successful, Long-Term Relationship, I described seven characteristics of a successful relationship. Each of these factors is equally important in this context, but one—separate interests—is imperative for ensuring individual growth in and outside of the relationship. Let me explain.

                Whether we are discussing a platonic friendship or a romantic partnership, two people enter a relationship because they are attracted not just to the similarities and mutual interests they share but also the differences between them. The expression “opposites attract” really is true: We are attracted to people who possess skills, characteristics and experiences that are different from our own. It is natural to consciously adopt some of the other person’s interests and to subconsciously mimic some facial expressions, mannerisms and beliefs during the course of the relationship. After spending time together, people tend to focus on and emphasize those similarities as a way to demonstrate that their relationship really is meant to be. (Have you ever noticed how couples that have been together for a long time, such as your parents or grandparents, even start to look alike?)

Ironically, when one (or both) of you forfeits your unique traits or interests to be more “like” the other person the relationship may falter. Rather than closing any space between you, abandoning your individuality can inadvertently cause the other person to lose some interest in you. Whether the relationship continues to thrive or eventually ends, you want to have a foundation on which you can continue to enjoy doing the things you always have, with or without the other person in your life.

If you want share a healthy relationship with someone else, start by nurturing your relationship with yourself. What do you enjoy doing? What do you want to do or never do again? Meditate, work with a hypnotherapist or practice self-hypnosis and explore what is important to you. How much are you willing to compromise on an issue or even sacrifice an activity or belief, in order for the relationship to thrive? Give yourself permission to make room in your life for you, and practice doing something for yourself every day. Maintain and grow your self-confidence by expressing an opinion or asking questions about an issue if something doesn’t make sense to you. Give yourself permission to experience every emotion as you feel it. Sing, dance, laugh, and cry. Be present in every moment. The more interested and engaged you are with the world around you, the more interesting you will be and become to people in your life.

You will be interesting to yourself, too.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

Never Say "Never"

(This blog was originally posted on January 29, 2014)



Image courtesy of Microsoft

 

                When I was at college, my friends used to joke, “Never say ‘never’, because that is an absolute guarantee you will do what you say you will never do!” Oh, how prescient that advice turned out to be. Now, I understand why.

                The subconscious mind does not understand irony. It does not get a joke. The subconscious mind will try to fulfill whatever messages it receives. Whatever you say or think, it takes literally and conveniently ignores terms such as never, not, won’t and can’t. For example, I occasionally make the mistake of thinking or saying to myself, “I will not fall off my horse today.” Guess what? I do fall—or come very close to it. Some people might say those are examples of a self-fulfilling prophecy, but isn’t a self-fulfilling prophecy an example of a person behaving in a specific way to achieve the subconscious mind’s goal?

                When I work with my hypnotherapy clients, I teach them how to frame (or re-frame, as the case may be) their thoughts and self-talk so they are always giving themselves a positive message or suggestion. Rather than say, “I can’t be late for this meeting!” tell yourself, “I will leave five minutes earlier so I will be on time for my meeting.” Or, in the context of my first example, I now tell myself, “I am a strong rider. I can stay on my horse and have a good ride.”

Your subconscious mind will work just as hard to fulfill a positive goal as it will to achieve a negative one, so why not set it up for success, right from the start?

  

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

Cross-Training

 (This blog was originally posted on February 9, 2014)

Gina Miles, 2008 Olympic Silver medalist (individual)
Photo by Sara Fogan 

 

                To get really good at something, you must often learn and practice other skills that will complement and improve your primary vocation or avocation. We typically hear and use the term “cross-training” to describe this philosophy in a sports or athletic context. For example, many professional football players lift weights to increase strength, run to improve endurance and even take ballet and/or gymnastics to learn how to jump and tumble in a safe way. Gina Miles, an equestrian who won a silver medal in eventing (“combined training”) at the 2008 Olympics, must focus on three discrete equestrian disciplines—dressage, cross-country and show jumping—as part of their training and competitive repertoire.

                Even if you are not a professional athlete, you can still apply this philosophy of learning new and related skills to improve your “performance” at work. If you are a project manager or supervisor at work, you probably have to participate in specialized workshops and attend conferences to learn, master and maintain the skills you will need to do your current job. A reporter must maintain a standard of writing and communicating to the reading/viewing audience, in addition to keeping up with current events and research skills to produce an accurate report.

                The great thing about cross-training in these contexts is that learning and mastering new skills is a great opportunity to increase your self-confidence and self-esteem. The more skills you possess, the better equipped you will be to apply these abilities to achieve goals/solve problems in any area of your life. Your conscious mind possesses the logic, reasoning, decision-making and will-power to learn those new skills; your subconscious mind internalizes this information in that will enable the conscious mind to apply the skills and succeed in your new goal. Best of all, the excitement and pride you feel when you master these new skills creates a new, powerful “known” message in your subconscious mind: I can do this, too!

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

Past-Life Regression and Hypnosis

 

(This blog was originally posted on January 13, 2014)

 

 

Photo courtesy of Fotolia

 

 

 

                Past-life regression is based on the person’s religious belief that he or she lived before and has been reincarnated. I offer PLR when a client specifically requests it, such as to explore what happened in the person’s previous life and how a specific event(s) from that lifetime is affecting him or her, today. It is also a useful technique to help a person identify a source of distress in the following situations:

·         Resolve a fear/phobia that the client absolutely cannot identify the source or cause;

·         Open up another creative pathway in the person’s imagination;

·         Travel to another country to become familiar with the culture;

·         Unexplained medical issue/condition, but the client MUST HAVE A MEDICAL REFERRAL from his or her physician to rule out a medical cause or condition as the cause of the discomfort;

·         Obesity/debilitating inability to gain weight (MEDICAL REFERRAL REQUIRED).

 

Most people have an authentic life experience during the PLR. I include the information that the client receives and shares with me to reinforce the subconscious message or lesson that the person received during the PLR. This experience often provides new perceptions about something that is going on in the person’s life and provides new insights for dealing with it. In addition to reinforcing this new knowledge in a post-hypnotic suggestion, I also provide an instruction for the client to “vent out” the issue in dreams so that the person can use the insight learned during the PLR session but will not be suggestible to the experience(s) of that past life.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

 

Watching Blackfish, Part 3

 

For me, one of the most interesting aspects of watching Blackfish with my family was seeing their reactions to the marine biologists’ and former SeaWorld trainers’ interviews. For many trainers, their attitudes about orca captivity evolved over the years, starting with genuine excitement, pride and love for the work they did training and performing with the killer whales. They explained how they loved to share their passion and knowledge about the orcas with park visitors; they loved the bonds they had created with the animals in their care. Eventually, however, the only reason they continued this work was so they could continue to care for the animals, because their real-life, behind-the-scenes experiences at the park were very different from the happy image the public saw in advertisements.

During the film, I watched as my nephews experienced a similar wave of emotion about the park. Afterward, they asked why people still go to marine parks to watch orca, dolphins and other marine mammals perform in a show when someone can just take a whale-watching trip and see the animals in the wild. Here are a few reasons why these parks remain popular:

         Whether you are talking about zoos, ocean-theme parks or circuses, animal entertainment is a “known” entity for a lot of individuals. These venues have always been around (or so it seems). Many people visit them with their families as part of a family vacation, and then recreate this positive experience with their own children, a generation later. These visits represent a familiar experience of comfort, love, family time, etc.

·         Hypnotic modalities also influence our beliefs and behaviors. As I explained in my blog about hypnotic modalities (Gullibility, Suggestibility, Hypnosis), three factors contribute to an hypnotic modality: 1) The other person has authority over you or perceived control over the environment; 2) The other person has an important theory, model or logic that makes some sense to you; and 3) The other person overloads you with so many message units or stimuli that you start to go along with whatever he or she is saying. (This is how the hypnotic state is created.) For example, people who visit marine parks and watch the orca performances might experience sensory overload from the bright colors or lights, loud music, cheering, smell of popcorn or other snacks, and even the sensation of heat from the sun, drizzle or a breeze as they sit in the stands. Those audience members who are sitting close enough to the pool will even enjoy the sensory experience of being soaked the orca smacks his or her tail against the surface of the water at the end of the performance (sensation overload). An orca trainer or other park representative wearing the park uniform/wetsuit and a microphone (authority) would narrate what the audience will be watching during the performance and provide specific details (facts/information) about the animals (doctrine). And then, of course, the audience gets to experience the performance, including being soaked by a spray of water when an orca smacks his or her tail on the water at the end of the show. In this closed environment, it is easy to understand how and why people get caught up in the excitement and supposed mystery of these performances. After all, how many people do you know get to work and interact with a killer whale? Even the former trainers who were interviewed in Blackfish conceded that, at the beginning, they believed what they had been taught about orca behavior during their training and happily disseminated this information to their audiences.

Like those trainers who eventually saw through the misinformation about these animals in the doctrine they had been taught, my nephews came to their own decision about whether captivity is harmful to the physical and emotional well-being of orca. As we all watched the documentary, I saw them ride a tide of curiosity and laughter to skepticism, outrage and sorrow that mirrored that of those trainers. During the course of these three blogs, I have described the subconscious thought processes likely helped to formulate their (and your) intellectual and viscerally emotional responses to Blackfish, whatever that response happened to be. For more information about this game-changing film, visit http://blackfishmovie.com/.

 

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015