Body Language

 

                I am fascinated by a new television advertisement for mobile (cell) phone services. In the ad, a group of potential customers puts a representative of a major, national phone company through her paces as they ask about various communications features that the company offers. Viewers are led to infer that the prospective customers are real-estate agents, because each of them is professionally rand sports a tan blazer with a large emblem of a house on the left side of the jacket. The group pretty much verifies the identity of their vocation when one of the women says, “Let’s close!” and they all cross their arms over their chest and grin. But it is what the customers and the sales representative say with their bodies throughout the ad that is of greatest interest to me.

                Throughout the ad, the phone-company representative matches every physical and facial gesture that her prospective clients make. As a customer’s voice lilts at the end of a question, the salesperson uses a similar lilt in her response. When one person points a finger to make a point, the sales rep makes the same movement during her explanation. Someone steeples her fingers across her midsection; the sales rep makes the same gesture. Another person in the group nods and raises her eyebrows; so does she. When the camera pans back a little, viewers can see that the sales rep has even adopted a similar stance as she stands with the customers. At the end of the advertisement when one of the customers crosses her arms and announces they will all take (“close”) the deal, her colleagues look at her and immediately imitate the crossed-arms gesture.

                I like this ad because it is such a fabulous demonstration of how people mirror someone’s behavior in order to build rapport with someone. If your job entails selling products or services, you probably recognized every sales technique depicted in the advertisement I just described. But you don’t have to be a salesperson or a customer to identify with what went on. We mirror each other’s various behaviors—facial expressions, physical gestures, patterns of speech—all the time, often without realizing that we are doing it. These actions are like a “fast track” to building rapport with someone you would like to get to know better. People are naturally attracted to others who behave or seem to think like they do.

Think about a conversation you have had recently: Did you nod at some point during the conversation or lean forward in your seat as if to listen to your companion’s words even more closely? And did your companion then lean his or her body closer to yours, return your nod or mirror a hand movement that you were previously unaware of having made? Did you notice when your spouse or friend took a step forward, backward or sideways to mirror your stance, or raised or lowered his or her voice to match the tone of yours? These are examples of mirroring; and mirroring is a subconscious (or conscious) behavior that creates rapport and can facilitate social bonds by reinforcing similarity or familiarity between you. Rapport is an inherent and necessary component of every kind of relationship; it is the cornerstone upon which every relationship is built. It is only when we establish rapport with someone are we likely to explore the similarities and differences between us, and know whether we want to spend the time and energy to create a social, romantic or professional relationship with that person. Without rapport, we cannot come to trust, respect, like or communicate well with him or her, and a relationship—or a successful sale—is unlikely to result from the interaction.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

And Your Handwriting Says…

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

                As I wrote in my February 5, 2014 blog, “Handwriting Analysis,” I ask each of my clients to write a few sentences about why they are seeking hypnotherapy to help them achieve their vocational and avocational self-improvement goals. I do this as a way to find out what the person thinks or believes about his or her presenting issue. Also, as an ideomotor response, handwriting gives a sneak preview into the subconscious mind, including suggestibility (how we learn) and behaviors. Here are a few handwriting characteristics that I look at:

·         Baseline slant: This handwriting characteristic indicates the mood of the person at the time the handwriting sample is done. An upward slant would suggest that you tend to be optimistic. A downward slant suggests a more pessimistic attitude or possible depression, which would necessitate a referral to a licensed medical or psychological professional for further evaluation and/or treatment. A baseline that undulates like waves indicates moodiness, which could be associated with low blood sugar/hunger.

·         Connecting strokes: Writing samples whose letters are connected and flow together indicate someone who has a very methodical and systematic way of thinking. Writing samples that feature little or no connection between the letters could indicate someone who is very analytical and can intuit information or results from just a few pieces of information.

·         Margins: Do you start and/or finish writing at the edge of the page? The more room you leave on the right-hand margin of the page indicates that you tend to be generous with the amount of time and space you leave for other people. If you have wider margins on the left-hand margin of the page, you are more generous with yourself.

·         Pressure of the writing: I can tell by feeling the grooves on the reverse side of the page how much pressure (intent or emotion) the writer invested in writing this sample. Someone who is very passionate or emotional about the topic would tend to exert more pressure when writing. Conversely, areas of lighter pressure (no groove) could indicate less emotion, indifference or even physical weakness.

·         Signature: A person’s signature indicates how he or she would like to be seen by others. It is not necessarily indicative of who the person really is/what the person is really like. Someone whose signature matches or is most like the body of the writing tends to be very no-nonsense; “what you see is what you get.” The opposite would be true of an individual whose signature is very different from the rest of the writing.

·         Slant of letters: The degree of angle or slant of your letters indicates whether you tend to repress or express your emotions. Someone whose writing has a left-hand slant tends to hold in emotions whereas a person whose writing that slants to the right will express how he or she is feeling. The greater the degree of the slant indicates the degree to which emotions are repressed or expressed.

·         Zones: Each “zone” of writing indicates where the person puts the greatest emphasis or priority in his or her life. The upper zone is where thought/fantasy/analysis occurs. The middle zone concerns daily life, communication and responsibility. The lower zone is dedicated to fulfilling physical or materialistic needs: sex, clothes, shelter and money.

 

These are just a few of the indicators I look at when I analyze handwriting in my hypnotherapy practice. For more information about handwriting analysis, or if you would like to request an in-depth analysis of your own writing, please contact me via my website at www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Just Say No!

Elton John sings, “‘Sorry’ seems to be the hardest word.” That may be true; but ‘no’—the key word in assertiveness, in my opinion—is right up there in the Number Two position of difficulty for so many people to say, especially females. I often wonder why that is. Perhaps it has to do with the texture of the words, themselves. The definite, hard consonant “n” and then a long “o” gives the pronunciation and enunciation of no a cold, harsh sound. In comparison, the sometimes-vowel “y”, short “e” and the soft, drawn out “s” when we say yes create an almost musical or lyrical sound. Yes is a nice word to hear and say.

This point brings me to the implication and connotations associated with each of these words. From early childhood, we learn to associate positive emotions and experiences—such as presents, treats and rewards, with yes; whereas adherence to strict rules, criticism and/or punishment tend to go with no. What child has not categorized a parent, guardian or teacher who says yes a lot as being “nice,” compared to the adult who expects Johnny and Sue to be on their best behavior and do their homework before they get to go outside to play? Even in adulthood, it is natural to prefer the company of someone who does what we like and want them to do, compared to an individual who will not go along with our plans or desires just to please us, if doing so won’t benefit the other person. In the heat of the moment, it is impossible to understand the motives and inner fortitude of people who can say “no” without blinking an eye and refusing to back down: how come they are so stubborn?  Sometimes, we even resent them for their willingness to stand up and fight for their beliefs, especially when this stance blocks or interferes with our plans. And yet, these are the people many of us secretly admire and want to be like.

Self-confidence and self-esteem are key components behind the willingness to say yes and the ability to say no. Neither trait is automatic, nor are they mutually inclusive: It is possible to be very confident but have very low self-esteem (self-value), and vice versa. When I work with a client to help the person become more assertive, one of the first things I do is assess and, if necessary, increase the person’s self-confidence and strengthen his or her self-esteem. This work is imperative because it shores up the person’s defenses against negative self-chatter and suggestibility to other people’s criticism as he or she works to achieve this vocational and avocational self-improvement goal. Next, I use relaxation and therapeutic guided-imagery techniques in hypnosis to help the person rehearse using the assertive behaviors. This exercise not only creates a new known in the subconscious mind that he or she can be assertive, it reinforces the person’s confidence that he or she can use this new skill effectively and successfully in the real world.

No isn’t so hard to say, after all.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Hypnotherapy and Public Speaking

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

Hypnotherapy is a very effective modality to help boost
confidence and overcome fear of public speaking.

 

                This evening I came across the outline for my first-ever presentation about hypnosis. It had been an assignment for the Speech Craft class that my classmates and I took at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute a couple of months before graduation. In it, we learned all of the fine points of crafting and delivering an effective, impactful speech about some element of our new, future vocation as certified hypnotherapists. My speech was very basic: I included some personal information about me and my educational background in the introduction, and then I focused on how and why I decided to become a hypnotherapist. That should be easy, right? Not so fast.

Reading those notes again, 10 years later, I could still remember how nervous I felt while I composed the draft for that speech. As a rule, I did not like to speak in public. I hated to be the center of attention in any circumstance, as I knew I would have to be when I did my presentation. Finally, the instructor and my classmates would be grading my presentation, a prospect that not only exacerbated my anxieties about public speaking but also of taking tests.

Before I drove to class that night, I made sure that I ate a nutritious meal with protein to keep my blood-sugar level (and mood) stable, which I knew would help to lower my anxiety. I wore one of my most professional-looking skirt suits that always helped me feel confident. Once I was in class, I practiced diaphragmatic breathing to calm my nerves while I waited for my turn to speak.

When the instructor finally called me up to the podium to do my presentation, my mind flashed back to the best advice I have ever received about public speaking. The current director of HMI, George Kappas, M.A., C.Ht., once gave the class a pep talk about public speaking and doing presentations on hypnosis and hypnotherapy to the general public. He reassured us that each of us would probably know more about this topic than anyone else in the room. He told us to relax and even suggested that we probably wouldn’t (shouldn’t) even need or want to use notes or notecards to prompt our speeches because, again, we would already be the experts on this topic. So when I stepped up to the podium that night, I took his words to heart and allowed myself to own the room. Since this presentation was about me and my experience, I could be (and was) completely confident that I was the expert in the room about this topic. That night, I was finally able to overcome a personal challenge. To my surprise, I even created a new “known” in my subconscious mind: public speaking was fun!

Looking back, this class turned out to be one of my favorites on the hypnotherapy-certification program at HMI. First, the assignment made me face and overcome my fear and discomfort about public speaking and taking tests. Second, the experience of having to do a presentation gave me an invaluable opportunity to experience the efficacy of techniques that I now also use and teach to my clients to help them overcome similar fears and anxieties.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

We Carry On

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

I salute everyone who participated in the Boston Marathon today.
Congratulations on races well run!

 

 

                One year ago last week, terrorist bombs exploded during the 2013 Boston Marathon. Three people died and more than 260 others were wounded, some with severed or mutilated limbs. As Americans, our nerves were shattered that another attack could actually happen again on our soil again. It was like September 11, 2001 all over again. But as a nation and as individuals, we are strong. We overcome adversity. We learn from our experiences to come back even better than ever.

                The fear, trauma and tragedy that the athletes, bystanders and citizens of Boston experienced during the 2013 Boston Marathon cannot be denied. All of the horror associated with that day has become anchored in our nation’s collective subconscious mind. However, to quote Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., today we once again proved that it is possible to “turn the situation around.” As a nation, Americans learned important lessons of survival, perseverance and endurance after we experienced the tragedy at last year’s great race. There were no breaches in security. The local and national law-enforcement agencies present to protect the athletes and the city exchanged information and shared a network of security cameras and video that kept track of everything that going on around them. Spectators cooperated with security regulations and left backpacks and other potentially suspicious packages at home. For the most part, everyone tolerated the temporary inconvenience of blocked streets. Participants and supporters cheering along the race route were compassionate, encouraging and supportive of each other. Some people ran in honor of the ones who were injured or died. Others participated in a demonstration of personal courage and determination to not allow fear or anxiety to dictate how, when and where they live their lives.

Today, the Boston 2014 Marathon was a success. The athlete who won the men’s marathon was the first American in 30 years to do so. These intense security precautions paid off and everyone—32,000 marathon runners, police officers, National Guard personnel and spectators, alike—remained safe and could enjoy one of our nation’s most celebrated annual sports events.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Body Syndromes

 

                According to John Kappas, Ph.D., whenever a person represses or holds in (does not express) an emotion the displaced energy from that experience is converted into a physical “symptom” of that emotional trauma. Even though there are no nerve endings in the brain, emotions in the brain through our perceptions (e.g., smell, taste, sight, hearing, touch). Electric impulses carry this information through the body and begin to manifest physical discomfort in those areas that are specifically associated with a certain repressed emotion, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder stated. The five basic body syndromes are:

·         Crying Syndrome (affects the neck, chest and head): What do you want to say or express?

·         Fight/Reaching Syndrome (affects the arms and hands): What do you want to defend yourself from? What are you reaching for?

·         Flight Syndrome (affects the legs and feet): What do you feel you need to run away from?

·         Guilt/Sexual Frustration Syndrome (affects areas and organs around the waist, lower back and hips): What do you feel guilty about? What is going on in your relationship?

·         Responsibility Syndrome (affects areas and organs around the shoulders and upper back): What do you feel responsible for?

               

As a certified hypnotherapist, it is out of my scope of expertise to diagnose an illness or to recognize/identify specific symptoms that have a psychological or physiological basis. Therefore, I do and will refer clients to an appropriate licensed medical or psychology professional to determine the cause and/or treat that specific physical symptom that. However, once this other expert has ruled out a medical etiology of your symptom, with a follow-up referral from that licensed professional, I can continue to work with you in hypnotherapy, which can provide complementary therapeutic benefits and help to alleviate and/or control these symptoms and help you to pursue and achieve your vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Making It Happen

Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

                Have I ever mentioned how powerful the subconscious mind is? As in, the SCM wants nothing more than to do what you tell it to do. You don’t even have to mean what you are thinking about; an idea just pops into your head and is gone in a nanosecond. Until…

I decided to wear my red jeans tonight so I could throw the blues into the washing machine with my other dark colors. I didn’t want to run the machine again just wash my magenta top; but if I could wait until tomorrow evening to throw the red jeans in with the shirt, that would be an acceptable load. Funny, my subconscious obviously didn’t agree with this strategy. Somehow, while I was eating dessert a stray blob of ice cream dripped off my spoon, onto the edge of the kitchen table and right on the leg of my red jeans. Really? Come on! I had only been wearing them for a couple of hours!

                In my “Power of Thinking” blog (March 7, 2014), I described the premise of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s book, Success Is Not an Accident. According to the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder, any thought or idea that we program into our subconscious mind becomes a mental script; it is these mental scripts that determine the outcome of our actions. Whether we imagine a positive or negative result, the SCM follows that mental script and work to actualize the goal it thinks you “want.”

If blogs have “morals,” this one is, be careful what you think of. I guess I really did want to wash those red items tonight.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014