An Ounce of Prevention

 

                On Saturday, an equine dentist examined and floated my horse’s teeth. Just like people, our animal companions need to have their teeth examined and/or cleaned to ensure that they are able to eat and digest their food. More important, these check-ups can prevent a tooth infection from spreading to the gum and into the bloodstream, which could be deadly. Looking back on the afternoon, I considered the many different things that I and other people do to prevent physical, emotional, social and practical problems from arising. What motivates us to take these precautions?

In the autumn, many people get a vaccination to prevent getting the flu later in the season. They start drinking more juice, taking vitamins and eating well to stave off a winter chest infection. When they have a cough, fever or running nose, they usually don’t need much persuasion to see a doctor and, if necessary, pick up a prescription for medication to relieve their discomfort. When we move to a new neighborhood or change jobs or schools, many people make some kind of gesture to create a social or professional alliance. My dad used to give a loaf of home-made French bread to new neighbors who moved into a home on our street; I made chocolate-chip cookies to share with my colleagues when I started a new job at the magazine. People who play contact sports usually don at least some kind of protective head gear to safeguard against concussion; many also wear other kinds of body armor to protect their limbs and chest. In each of these cases, the person makes a conscious decision to behave in a specific way that will protect or safeguard his or her well-being.

The decision to seek hypnotherapy to achieve a vocational or avocational self-improvement goal is also a conscious one. Even though I use specific techniques to access a client’s subconscious mind to effect the desired behavior change, the person must first make a conscious decision to seek this therapy. In addition to their desire to quit a habit that is interfering with their life right now, many people seek hypnotherapy to help them change a behavior that they fear will cause a bigger problem for them later on. For example, when I work with people to stop smoking or lose weight, their primary motivation to change their behavior (smoking or over-eating) is often to improve their health. Perhaps the person is at risk of cardiovascular disease or diabetes, and a doctor has advised that the best chance of increasing his or her longevity is to start following a healthy lifestyle. Others may want to increase their motivation, because procrastination has resulted in their missing deadlines at work, or failure to get their car in for a scheduled service caused more serious mechanical problems on the road. Many times, even after they achieve their stated goals, people want to continue with the hypnotherapy to help motivate them to continue to follow the new behaviors that have improved their lives.

Hypnosis and therapeutic guided imagery are effective, natural and drug-free techniques through which you can achieve these and other self-improvement goals. Whether you are ready to embark on this journey for the first time or just want to fine-tune the new behaviors or skills you have been working on to avoid temptation, I am here to help you achieve them.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Just Say No!

Elton John sings, “‘Sorry’ seems to be the hardest word.” That may be true; but ‘no’—the key word in assertiveness, in my opinion—is right up there in the Number Two position of difficulty for so many people to say, especially females. I often wonder why that is. Perhaps it has to do with the texture of the words, themselves. The definite, hard consonant “n” and then a long “o” gives the pronunciation and enunciation of no a cold, harsh sound. In comparison, the sometimes-vowel “y”, short “e” and the soft, drawn out “s” when we say yes create an almost musical or lyrical sound. Yes is a nice word to hear and say.

This point brings me to the implication and connotations associated with each of these words. From early childhood, we learn to associate positive emotions and experiences—such as presents, treats and rewards, with yes; whereas adherence to strict rules, criticism and/or punishment tend to go with no. What child has not categorized a parent, guardian or teacher who says yes a lot as being “nice,” compared to the adult who expects Johnny and Sue to be on their best behavior and do their homework before they get to go outside to play? Even in adulthood, it is natural to prefer the company of someone who does what we like and want them to do, compared to an individual who will not go along with our plans or desires just to please us, if doing so won’t benefit the other person. In the heat of the moment, it is impossible to understand the motives and inner fortitude of people who can say “no” without blinking an eye and refusing to back down: how come they are so stubborn?  Sometimes, we even resent them for their willingness to stand up and fight for their beliefs, especially when this stance blocks or interferes with our plans. And yet, these are the people many of us secretly admire and want to be like.

Self-confidence and self-esteem are key components behind the willingness to say yes and the ability to say no. Neither trait is automatic, nor are they mutually inclusive: It is possible to be very confident but have very low self-esteem (self-value), and vice versa. When I work with a client to help the person become more assertive, one of the first things I do is assess and, if necessary, increase the person’s self-confidence and strengthen his or her self-esteem. This work is imperative because it shores up the person’s defenses against negative self-chatter and suggestibility to other people’s criticism as he or she works to achieve this vocational and avocational self-improvement goal. Next, I use relaxation and therapeutic guided-imagery techniques in hypnosis to help the person rehearse using the assertive behaviors. This exercise not only creates a new known in the subconscious mind that he or she can be assertive, it reinforces the person’s confidence that he or she can use this new skill effectively and successfully in the real world.

No isn’t so hard to say, after all.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

And the Wisdom to Know the Difference…

 

                Sometimes, it seems like one of the most powerful human desires is the one for control. We want to control some aspect(s) of our social or physical environment. We want to control our behavior. (Hey, that’s what hypnotherapy is good for, right?) Or, we want to control (change) someone else’s behavior. Can hypnotherapy help you achieve each of these goals?

My scope of expertise as a hypnotherapist is to help my clients achieve vocational and avocational self-improvement goals. There is really no way to control or change specific aspects of a physical environment—such as the weather or climate where we live—unless we physically move out of the area. Most of us can’t even rearrange the furniture or décor in the lobby at work without having to get permission from the employer and/or the building’s landlord. Similarly, none of us has the ability to control someone else’s behaviors or beliefs if that individual doesn’t want to make this change. However, we can use hypnotherapy and guided-imagery techniques to help us replace our own unwanted habits or belief systems with behaviors that are more effective for us. The skills you practice and learn in hypnosis can also help you adapt to, cope with and even flourish in a challenging personal, social or work situation over which you have no control. Your ability to remain relaxed, focused and calm in this context will significantly reduce or even eliminate any personal effects that the tension in this situation may cause you. You may even find that this ability to control your emotions in this way indirectly influences (changes) the way other people around you behave.

Before the next scheduled interaction with the person or exposure to that environment, work with me in hypnotherapy to help you desensitize to the negative stimuli associated with that encounter. Give yourself permission to let go of any grudges, bitterness or other negative associations you have with this situation. Give the other person(s) permission to own their critical, negative, etc., nature or beliefs that they have previously expressed to you. Then, visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you are as relaxed, calm and focused when you have that encounter as you are while you are in hypnosis. Anchor that image of yourself responding in a positive, confident and controlled way with the relaxed and comfortable sensation you are enjoying in hypnosis so you can access your new calm and “in control” demeanor when you need to. Even if the other person’s behavior or attitude does not significantly change at that time, you will be better equipped to deal with that challenge.

I liken this attitude and technique to the Serenity Prayer. Most of the time, each of us can change our behavior and, in so doing, truly change a negative or challenging situation into a positive or mutually rewarding experience. Sometimes, we can do absolutely nothing about the circumstance except to just get through it by changing the way we perceive and respond to it. The key to a successful outcome in either circumstance is having the wisdom to know what kind of attitude adjustment we can make at that moment.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Duration of Hypnotherapy

 

                The duration of hypnotherapy is comparatively shorter than traditional psychotherapy, such as psychoanalysis. However, an issue is seldom resolved in just one, two, three or even four sessions. “[Hypnotherapy] is not a miracle cure,” Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., explained. “It can relieve initial trauma in a few sessions, but it may take longer to deal with other issues.”

                My goal as a hypnotherapist is to help each of my clients effectively resolve his or her specific vocational and avocational self-improvement goal(s) in a realistic amount of time. For example, hypnotherapy for weight-control usually lasts 28 sessions; smoking cessation can typically be dealt with in six sessions. Simple problems may take less time to resolve; but for general self-improvement or lifestyle-change issues, hypnotherapy is an ongoing process that can last for years.

                I do not set limits on the amount of time the therapy will take, because these perceived deadlines can set the client up for frustration and disappointment if the process takes longer than expected. I can typically identify the true causal factor or issue that a client is dealing with during the first hypnotherapy session, even when this is not the issue the person has originally come to resolve. However, I will not try to draw out this issue and potentially cause unnecessary stress for my client until he or she is ready to address it and let it go.

For example, weight is only symptomatic of an emotional issue in approximately 20 percent of people who come in for weight-loss therapy, Kappas said. “If you don’t eliminate the cause of a problem, it could come back.”

                 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014