Don't Believe Everything You Tell Yourself

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on December 12, 2016)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

I addressed our human tendency to believe too much in terms of what we see/hear in social media in my blog titled, Think It All Through. Today, I will tackle the most powerful source of influence of our beliefs and behavior: our own mind.

The subconscious mental script that dictates most of our activities started to be written long before we became aware of—let alone noticed—when we act a particular way or why we do what we do. The more we reinforce (repeat) those beliefs and behaviors, and the more we are rewarded socially or emotionally for them, the stronger they will become. However, that doesn’t mean they are true or right.

For example, if you generally received praise for your efforts and encouragement to solve a problem or resolve a conflict, and reassurance and emotional support to overcome a disappointment, you are likely to repeat these actions in similar situations. Conversely, if your efforts to succeed were met with derision and discouragement to undermine your current and prospective future success, you are more likely to internalize and believe these negative messages.

It doesn’t have to be this way. To paraphrase a beloved Native American parable, everyone has a “good” wolf and a “bad” wolf inside that is constantly fighting for control. The good wolf is confident and self-assured; it wants to do the right thing and do right by others. Conversely, the bad wolf lacks that self-confidence; in fact, it is insecure and self-loathing. It has no respect for others or itself and would just as soon cause pain and discomfort than share joy and opportunity. Ultimately, the winner of this fight will be the one you feed.

In my blog titled It’s Just a Thought, I explained the benefits of dismissing outright all of those negative messages that you do not want or need to incorporate in your current mental script. This is essentially controlling what you think and the ideas you allow yourself to entertain. Instead, practice imagining or visualizing what you/it would look like to experience that success you are working so hard to achieve. What kinds of words do you want and need to hear to actualize this positive outcome, and practice saying and thinking them until they replace that negative chatter. Believe that this positive outcome is possible because you realized the old way of behaving not only doesn’t work for you anymore, but it has triggered actions and beliefs that can only help you succeed.

 

 

April Promotion: Hypnosis to Stop Smoking! $800 for six, weekly sessions lasting approximately one hour each week. This is a $100 savings! (A la carte sessions cost $150 each.) In addition, I will waive the $200 fee for the separate First Session if you purchase and book the six-week package up front.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

The Law of Attraction Can Work for You

(This blog was originally posted on March 9, 2017)

“Before you can transform your wallet from poor to rich, you’ve

got to transform your spirit from poor to rich.” – Robert Kiyosaki

Photo by Rick Hustead

As I drove home from my weekly business luncheon with the Network Referral Group, I wondered when I could expect to hear from a marketing executive who had promised to contact me that afternoon. My phone rang less than a minute later; it was the call I had been waiting for. 

This was not a coincidence.

Less than an hour earlier, I did a lunchtime presentation about the Law of Attraction and how it works, for the other NRG members. The talk went very well and I was still basking in a state of optimism and confidence about how this information would help me and my colleagues attract more clients in the coming week. Here are some highlights from my presentation which can help you achieve the business, romantic, etc., success you are trying to attract. This information is based on what I learned during a certification course I recently completed about this topic, taught by Joe Tabbanella, C.Ht., through the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. 

·         Visualize the outcome. How will you look/feel/behave with you have achieved your goal? Really get into the imagery about your desired result. Really see yourself experiencing and enjoying it and what it will mean for you. Remember: The subconscious mind does not know the difference between fantasy and reality, so this kind of imagery exercise will reinforce the experience of having what you want to attract, in your subconscious mind.

·         Ask yourself: Why do you want “X”? How will actually obtaining this thing or person that you want to attract help you feel just as good as you do right now, in this visualization/imagery exercise about having attained it?

·         Give yourself permission to have and enjoy this state of abundance and success. A lot of people reinforce and believe a subconscious mental script they learned at a very young age which discourages or even disparages success. It is important to believe that this old script is just a story you have told yourself, like a fairy tale; it is not written in stone. You can rewrite the ending by choosing to believe your power to create the positive outcome you want and deserve.

·         Get yourself (subconscious mind) into a state of having and receiving what you want to attract. A caveat: If you focus more on something you want to avoid vs. what you really do want in your life, you will inadvertently attract the thing you do not want. So be positive and specific where you direct your intention!

·         Structural Tension and Psychic Alignment: Structural tension occurs when, using visualization, your subconscious mind gets so into that state of receptivity—truly enjoying the experience of receiving your goal—that your physical body starts working to actualize it in real life. Psychic Alignment refers to the way in which the structural tension attracts this goal: The more you believe it and the more real its attainment is in your subconscious mind, the harder your conscious mind will work to make sure it happens. Once you feel so good, so energized, so excited in your belief that this success will be yours, the question that remains is when, not if, it will happen.

·         It may take some time to realize your goal through this process. Sometimes it is fairly quick, such as my example of answering a phone call I had been waiting for right after I thought about the person I wanted to talk to. Other times, it can take days, weeks or even years to come true, with various diversions and setbacks along the way. I have wanted to be a therapist since I was eight years old, but it took almost 30 years, and a seven-year stint in magazine publishing before this happened. The idea of becoming a hypnotherapist never entered my mind until I met a representative from HMI in 204 who invited me to participate in a free, month-long course at the college. The rest, as they say, is history, and I love and am so excited about my vocation as a clinical hypnotherapist.

For more information about this topic, I invite you to read my other blogs titled: The Power of Thinking; Intuition and the Law of Attraction, “Extra” Sensory Perception and the Law of Attraction; and Just What I Need When I Needed It. If you would like to start using principles of the Law of Attraction to in your life, call me at (661) 433-9430 and set up a hypnotherapy appointment today!

Limited Special Offer!

Save an additional 10 percent on the 10-week weight-loss package.

This discount only applies to the 10-week weight-loss program and may not be combined with any other offer. It is valid through February 15, 2019

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019

Don't Rise to the Bait

(This blog was originally posted on August 21, 2014)

Image courtesy of Fotilia

Whether it’s a colleague at work or another kid at school who is subtly or not-so-subtly challenging you, the most effective strategy to dissipate the tension between you is to ignore the taunt. Unfortunately, nothing is one of the most difficult things to do when we want to stand our ground and defend what we believe. This is even more challenging when we buy into and believe the criticism or digs someone is directing our way. Like children on the playground, adults can also get caught in a seemingly endless cycle of verbal sparring because this kind of interaction has become an established pattern between the participants. There may not be a specific reason why this behavior occurs; and for the purposes of this essay, it doesn’t even matter. The point here is the behavior and how you can prevent yourself from responding to and engaging with whatever has instigated it.

Whenever you find yourself in a potentially negative interaction ask yourself: Is the trash talk part of your usual repertoire with this individual or individuals? If your answer is yes, consider who is instigating the negativity. Be honest! It surprises many people to realize that they may have started the argument or made the first dig without even consciously knowing or intending to do this. If you did intend to stir something up with the other person, consider your reason or reasons for doing so. Sometimes we criticize another person’s behavior or appearance, etc., because we actually disapprove of or even resent that attribute in ourselves. If your answer is no, think back to a similar, previous occasion or events in which you were the object of the other person’s animosity. How did you react in those situations? How did the other person respond to what you said or did? If this scenario has been repeated several times, it is likely that you both follow a subconscious mental script in which you trigger specific antagonistic/combative and defensive/combative responses in each other.

  

Even if this behavior has become a habit, the good news is that you both can unlearn it and rewrite your mental scripts to create a more constructive way of interacting. Do not use or waste this time and your energy trying to come up with a clever retort to the other person’s taunt, either. Any temporary pleasure you may feel when you say it will be overshadowed by the fact that your quip will only reinforce the unwanted behavior you’re trying to get rid of and the other person’s negative behavior toward you. The easiest way to start changing the original pattern is simple: just do not respond to that dig or verbal jab. Instead, draw a deep breath through the nose and hold it to the count of four and then exhale the breath through your mouth. As you inhale, visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you are inhaling calm, focus, patience and any word that you associate with feeling powerful, in control, and loving or benevolent. Then when you exhale, imagine that you are releasing from your body every last bit of anger, stress, frustration or negative energy or emotion that you feel about the other person and/or this situation.

For all intents and purposes, you are in a kind of “relationship” with the other person or people with whom you share this behavior. Like any other relationship in your life, this one is also subject to the principles behind the Systems Approach, whereby you cannot separate one component of the system from the sub-total or entire system. According to John Kappas, Ph.D., the founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, changing your behavior in the relationship—i.e., no longer respond to comments or communicate with the other party the way you used to—will necessarily affect the basic structure of the relationship or system and create resistance within it. The ultimate goal of applying the Systems Approach in hypnotherapy is to bring the System (relationship) back into balance. However, if that system is no longer working for you and the other party or parties is unwilling to change their behavior to restore this balance, the relationship as it stands will not survive. Under those circumstances, you may ultimately find that leaving the toxic relationship and combative social environment is the better option anyway.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018