Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

(This blog was originally posted on April 25, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

According to John Kappas, Ph.D., Emotional Sexuals do not get hung up in a failed relationship for as long or the way a Physical Sexual is likely to do. Physicals focus their lives on a relationship and a loving commitment. Once the relationship becomes physically (sexually) intimate, they tend to plan the future and have high expectations for commitment with the partner.

“The Physical Sexual female subconsciously thinks, ‘Would he make a good husband/father of my child? Could I spend an eternity with him?” The Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder explained. If the other person is a good candidate for such a relationship, this evolution of the partnership will happen naturally.  However, if the relationship seems to be failing or if the other partner (typically an Emotional Sexual) rejects the person’s advances, the Physical Sexual will panic about losing the person and cling even more. When the Physical Sexual backs off a bit—perhaps even making the Emotional Sexual jealous—the relationship tends to start up again.

When the relationship is finally over and the Physical Sexual leaves for good, the person doesn’t go back. However, the person’s fear of the emotional pain resulting from this separation and the fact that self-worth is so closely tied to the relationship makes it difficult to make this final break, Dr. Kappas observed. This fear and the person’s lack of confidence that he or she can survive without the partner will subconsciously motivate the person to hold onto the dead relationship. However, it may be prudent to let the relationship go if you’re not getting what you want or need, he advised.

Since people continue to evolve over time, you should become involved with another person with whom you can grow in this way, Dr. Kappas said. Don’t hold onto a relationship that’s not going anywhere for you and replace expectations about getting married and having a partner with that partner, specifically. “You need to separate what you want for yourself. You have to project availability and attainability. Lovers are not forever, but for now or tomorrow.”

Summer Promotion: Hypnosis for Weight Loss

Let the power of your subconscious mind help you release extra weight and increase your motivation to make healthier eating/nutrition and exercise choices. Book the entire 10-week series and save $250!

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019

Weight Loss and Hypnotherapy Special Offer for February 2018

Photo by Rick Hustead

Summer will be here sooner than we know. If you want to take off some weight and get fit before summer returns, now is the perfect time to try hypnotherapy and therapeutic guided imagery to help you achieve these goals! Following is a brief summary of how this program works.

The first thing I will do is to establish your motivation for losing the weight. Is there a health reason such as diabetes control? Do you want to improve your physical fitness or just take off a few pounds to get ready for the spring and summer? Perhaps friends or relatives in your social circle have been putting on pressure to drop the pounds. Or, you may (subconsciously) use excess weight as a “shield” to protect against emotional rejection or even a subconscious fear of returning to a previous lower weight where an emotional trauma may have occurred.

It doesn’t matter what your motivation for losing weight happens to be. However, said Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John G.Kappas, Ph.D., “If you are not personally motivated to achieve the weight-loss goal, the weight-loss program is unlikely to be successful.”

Once we identify and establish your motivation to lose weight, I will use hypnosis and guided-imagery techniques to help you resolve any previous issues or resistance to losing weight*. I will also use these therapeutic techniques to help you develop and reinforce your strong, positive self-image about being at the desired weight and feeling comfortable with being physically attractive. All of the hypnotic suggestions I use will incorporate your expressed motivations to feel physically, emotionally, mentally healthy and happier every day and to project positive feelings and ideas of successfully losing weight in a healthy way. (Depending on your weight-loss goals, I may also refer you to be examined by a physician for guidance about an appropriate exercise and nutritional regimen before we begin this program, which I will reinforce during your hypnotherapy sessions with me.)

SPECIAL OFFER!

I am currently offering a 10 percent discount on all hypnotherapy for weight-loss/weight-management sessions. This offer is good through February 28, 2018. It is not exchangeable for cash and may not be combined with any other offer. For more information and to set up an appointment, please contact me at (661) 433-9430 or send an e-mail to calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com.  

I look forward to hearing from—and working with—you soon!

*California law allows access by California residents to complementary and alternative health care practitioners who are not providing services that require medical training and credentials. The purpose of a program of hypnotherapy is for vocational and avocational self-improvement (Business and Professions Code 2908) and as an alternative or complementary treatment to healing arts services licensed by the state. A hypnotherapist is not a licensed physician or psychologist, and hypnotherapy services are not licensed by the state of California. Services are non-diagnostic and do not include the practice of medicine, neither should they be considered a substitute for licensed medical or psychological services or procedures.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified clinical hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018

Systems Theory and Weight Loss

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., the most important component of a successful weight-loss program is the hypnotherapy client’s active participation in the process. For example, the person must consistently, regularly write down in a ledger what he or she eats during the day—including the quantity of food ingested. To control eating behaviors, the client should be instructed to always leave 25 percent of the food on the plate.

As long as the person recording these details it is working—even if the weight is not coming off during a plateau stage. “This process is something you’re conscious that you’re going to do,” Dr. Kappas said. “You choose [to do or] not do the ledger.” If the person does not record this information in the ledger and/or does not control eating behaviors, he or she is not ready to do the process and lose weight, he explained. 

Another indication that the individual may not be ready to lose the weight is by not showing up for appointments. In this case, it is worthwhile to do a Systems Approach evaluation to find out if relationship or family pressures are inhibiting the weight loss. This may reveal that the client may be gaining weight to preserve the status quo of the marriage or relationship that he or she is already in. When one partner or family member loses weight, the status quo in that relationship naturally undergoes a shift in relation to the client’s perceptions about him- or herself. For example, the client’s spouse may feel subconsciously threatened by the partner’s physical change and concomitant increase in self-confidence, and fear that the client will leave the relationship. The partner’s subconscious goal would be to keep the current “system” in place. To do this the person may try to (again, subconsciously) sabotage the client’s diet by eating forbidden foods (e.g., sweets, pizza, etc.) in front of the person or even offering some to him or her. The spouse’s perception of the client and the “new” relationship is also likely to shift, and the client may even worry that the partner will leave. In an attempt to keep the relationship intact, the client may abandon the weight-loss program, Dr. Kappas explained.

Alternatively, the client may abandon the weight-loss program and gain, or regain, weight as a way to end the relationship with the spouse without feeling guilt. In this case, the client may use weight to “get back at” a partner who says he or she will only return to the relationship once the client loses the weight.

Another possibility is that the client may be trying to make him- or herself unattractive to the partner because there is no sexual activity between them. This is a form of emotional blackmail; in this case, the hypnotherapist must deal with the client in terms of just the weight and not the person’s relationship with the spouse.

Food may also fulfill (gratify) a need that the client has, which the partner is not meeting in the relationship. Finally, weight-gain is also often related to problems or hang-ups with sexuality, which also leads to low self-esteem, Dr. Kappas said.

Emotional issues cause 20-percent of weight problems, said the HMI founder. “Weight is a glue that holds together a style of emotions, and by removing that glue the emotions are likely to fall apart.” Therefore, in these cases, the client must be emotionally ready and motivated to resolve the problem in order to lose the weight.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016