The Gift

(This blog was originally posted on December 1, 2016)

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.

That is why they call it ‘the present.’” – Unknown

My grandfather liked to quote the above saying from time to time, but I never really understood the true meaning of that sentiment until I became an adult. Even now it can still sometimes be tough to find a positive aspect to a difficult or challenging situation after the fact, let alone at the time it is going on. However, it is this ability to see the “bright side” or even find a hidden blessing in misfortune that increases our courage, fortitude and ability to handle or even avoid a similar situation in the future.

Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D. often advised people to “turn it around!” when they were faced with an uncomfortable or difficult situation. Rather than focus on the unpleasant details or challenges you might be experiencing at the moment, look for a positive aspect/redeeming quality or lesson that could be learned from it. If you have a misunderstanding with a family member or even a colleague at work, consider what circumstances led up to the argument. Perhaps you or the other person misunderstood the meaning or intent behind something that was said. The lesson or “gift” of that experience would be that in the future, you would be more thoughtful and careful about what and how you communicated a thought or idea. You would also understand that it might be prudent to ask questions and clarify the meaning of what you believe you heard or saw before making any judgment about an incident.

But the greatest benefit of considering the present as a true gift is that you can approach each new day and situation with appreciation for the opportunities, wisdom and pleasure the experience can offer. The subconscious mind may try to challenge this more carefree, appreciative perspective about the unknown with cautionary memories about a similar situation that may not have worked out. You may even experience uncomfortable physiological symptoms of anxiety that are further exacerbated by a sudden drop in blood-sugar level if you happen to be hungry at the time. But this reaction is merely the subconscious mind’s reference to a previous subconscious mental script that likes and wants to attach old meanings to a new experience. No matter how many similarities exist between those experiences to make the outcome somewhat predictable, each one is inherently unique and therefore deserves to be enjoyed and appreciated for what it is: A gift.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Dealing With Post-Election Anxiety

Photo by Rick Hustead

Just over one week ago, American voters cast their ballots and elected a new president of the United States. The election was one of the most acrimonious such events the country has ever had and many, many citizens are still reeling from the results. Indeed, every night since then several major cities in the United States have seen protests; there has even been some violence and riot police have been called out to try to control the crowds. Fear is the cause of this, too. But, why is there so much (more) fear about this election, compared to others we have had in the past?

I think a lot of it stems from all the “unknowns” in this election cycle. Whereas one candidate was very establishment, the other—now, President-Elect—was outside just about every theoretical and behavioral model of a politician we have ever seen or heard. We had grown used to the way certain things are and were done, and expected to enjoy (or suffer) more of the same for at least another four years. To everyone’s great surprise, American citizens’ collective frustration, anger and even fear of that prospect becoming a reality motivated millions of them to vote for the person who promised to make the changes his constituents want to see.

It might surprise you to learn that even getting what you want can be scary. The two major political parties in the United States may share similar ideals for how to make the United States the best country it can be, but their strategies and plans to attain those goals are often very different. We have become used to one way of doing things; now, we must shift gears again and open our minds and even hearts to a new approach and a new style of getting all that done. Already, some of the political rhetoric is raising eyebrows and defenses. A lot is about to change, and these events may feel and seem out of your control. But that doesn’t mean all the other areas of your life have to follow suit. Following are some practical suggestions to help you negotiate this transition:

• Eat well: Good nutrition is a very important tool to help keep anxiety down. Drops in blood-sugar levels can affect mood, increasing levels of frustration and anxiety. Be sure to eat healthy, nutritious and delicious meals that include some form of protein (meat or plant-based are both okay) to keep your energy level up and minimize those negative emotions.

• Get enough rest: Sleep is very important because this is the time your body gets to rest and your subconscious mind has a chance to release (vent) the emotional baggage you have been carrying around all day. This process occurs during the early-morning venting dream. When you do not let go of all that “stuff” in a dream, you are at increased risk of stimulus overload and a subsequent loss of the critical thinking/reasoning process. This, in turn, makes you more vulnerable to making impulsive or even risky or dangerous decisions that could put you in physical danger: e.g., dozing at the wheel while driving or even getting into an altercation with someone whose temper is also flared.

• Just breathe: If and when you notice that you are becoming frustrated or angry, practice taking slow, deep breaths to slow down your racing mind and (likely) increased pulse. Diaphragmatic breathing entails drawing a slow, deep breath through your nose; holding it four three or four seconds and then releasing the air through your mouth. This technique relaxes the tension in your physical body as well as provides a tangible example (proof) that you can control a specific physical behavior. Repeat this exercise several times until you notice that your pulse/heartbeat returns to its normal (resting) rate. Power breathing is another great tool to help release negative emotions through forceful exhalation of the breath.

• Change your perspective. Or, as Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder Dr. John Kappas liked to say, take the negative aspects of the situation and turn it around. Even when you can’t change what’s actually going on, it is usually true that changing the way you look at that situation change the way you ultimately experience it. For example, even if your candidate did not win this election, look for some trait/characteristic or political ideal he espouses that you can respect or even admire. Or, focus on the political process that allows American citizens an opportunity and freedom to choose a leader they want to represent them and their dreams, in the first place.

Finally, keep living your life. Love your partner or spouse. Spend time with your family. Enjoy favorite hobbies, listen to your favorite music, read books or magazines, etc. that you like. Continue to make plans and dream, and pursue all those leads to see your dreams come true, too.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Something to Think About

Photo by Rick Hustead

This evening when I was checking my social-media accounts, I came across an evocative post that described various incidents that prevented a handful of individuals from getting to work at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. In one case, someone’s car wouldn’t start so the individual never made it to the office at all. In another, a child didn’t get ready for school in time; his tardiness meant that a parent was also late for work in order to get the child to class. One person’s alarm didn’t go off in time. Another decided to take a call (rather than let it go to voice-mail) before heading out to work. And so on.

I bet most if not all of the people described in that post was silently or verbally cursing whatever (or whoever) was causing the frustration and delay. How long did it take until news of the first airline crashing into the Twin Towers turned that frustration into gratitude and relief?

Reading about these scenarios reminded me of times in the past when I have rushed to attend an event or complete a project, only to be stopped in my tracks by circumstances beyond my control. Back then, I am sure that my frustration and even anger would have been palpable.  But since then I have come to appreciate these uncontrollable events—including traffic jams or having to rewrite most of a document because I forgot to save it before the computer crashed. As Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., liked to advise, it is always possible to take a negative experience and “turn it around” to become a positive one. Who knows what challenge I might have faced a few miles up the freeway if that big-rig hadn’t stalled out on the hill? Or, having completed writing a new draft of the document I lost, I realized that the current version is much better after all. Come to think of it, I can think about several occasions in which a delay, a wrong turn or a mistake have resulted in a much better outcome for having experienced those inconveniences. It’s something to think about.

 If you are interested in reading the original Facebook post I described at the beginning of this essay, you can check it out at https://www.facebook.com/Calminsense-Hypnotherapy-183965798312732/.  

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016