When Denial Causes Sleeping Problems

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on September 13, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

Have you ever had problems sleeping after ending a romantic relationship? If so, you are not alone. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., continuing to hold onto the former partner and unresolved grief about the ended relationship is often the cause of this problem.

Sleeping problems can take the form of interrupted sleep or insomnia. The hypnotherapist deduced that denial of the emotional and even physical pain an individual can experience at the end of a relationship produces this sleep pattern. Indeed, this behavior may be a subconscious defense mechanism to interrupt a dream that would confirm the relationship is really over. “Denial covers up depression, and you’re really covering up depressive sleep,” Dr. Kappas explained.

Sometimes, it is only until some time has passed after a relationship has ended that a person truly realizes that it is over, the hypnotherapist explained. Continuing to “hang onto” an emotional attachment to the former partner inhibits or even prevents going through the grief and depression stages of loss that would facilitate letting go of the relationship. In this situation, the person is likely to get stuck in the denial stage of this process.

“As long as you’re in the denial stage, it’s next to impossible to replace [the lost relationship]. You have to go through the stages of loss in order to go forward and start developing another relationship,” Dr. Kappas said. To facilitate this process, he advised giving a client specific suggestions to have a venting dream that will allow the person to release, or “vent out,” unresolved feelings and work through the end of the former relationship: “You’re going to sleep soundly and deeply throughout the night, and the reason you’re going to sleep soundly and deeply is that you’re going to prepare to let something go. You’ve made a decision that you’re going to relax the denial mechanism on [the specified date].”

Dr. Kappas said it is important to include a specific date by which the client has the venting dream, such as to coincide with the next (follow-up) hypnotherapy session, to start working through the various stages of loss. This process should help reinstate the person’s normal sleeping pattern and come to terms with the end of the previous relationship, he explained.

 

 

Special Offer: Free 30-Minute Phone or Zoom Consultation

This is a great opportunity to find out why hypnosis is so effective and how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your self-improvement goals. Call or text me at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation* today! 

*This is not a full hypnotherapy session. Hypnosis will not be provided during this consultation. This offer is not redeemable for cash and may not be combined with any other promotion.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

Thoughts of the Day

In compliance with current WHO and CDC recommendations to minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus, I am temporarily suspending in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone and Skype consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

 

Photo by Sara Fogan

 

 

Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

 

• “Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.” – Bernard Meltzer

• “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – A.A. Milne

• “Write because you have something to say.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

• “We don’t meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason.” – Kathryn Perez

• “When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

• “Don't be so focused on Someday that you miss the opportunities of Today.” – Bruce Van Horn

• “I find that when you have a real interest in life and a curious life, that sleep is not the most important thing.” – Martha Stewart

• “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” – Mark Twain

• “Identify your problems, but give your power and energy to solutions.” – Tony Robbins

• “Flowers... are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty out-values all the utilities of the world.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

Limited-Time Offer: Free Phone Consultation

This is a great opportunity to find out why hypnosis is so effective and how hypnotherapy can help you achieve your self-improvement goals. Call/send me a text message at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Skype consultation, today! (Limited to one consultation per person.)

Offer valid through August 31, 2020.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2020

 

 

Dreams and Phobias

(This blog was originally posted on January 17, 2017)

An individual works through events and conflicts that he or she experienced earlier in the day by venting them out in early-morning dreams, Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., explained. A dream recurs if the subconscious mind does not resolve the issue/content through this process. Furthermore, a recurring dream can cause a phobic reaction if its content induces anxiety. When this occurs, the individual may subconsciously resist sleeping or if the person only sleeps very lightly to avoid having the dream again. Paradoxically, avoiding sleep also reduces the possibility of venting the original issue that keeps showing up in the disturbing dream.

In addition, a person may incorporate stimuli that he or she experiences during sleep—such as the sound of a barking dog or a slamming door—into the content of a dream. Low blood-sugar levels are associated with the development of phobias, so it is also reasonable to conclude that someone whose blood-sugar level drops during sleep may develop a phobia about a recurring dream. In this case, the person’s nutrition must be addressed to ameliorate the phobic response in addition to helping the person resolve the issue(s) presented during the dream.

You’ll still have to solve the dream and the subconscious motives and fears that aren’t being expressed consciously, Dr. Kappas said. “[Dreams] send signals when something is wrong. These signals must be taken into consideration. Even though the signal (dream) is fantasy, the event that precipitated it is real.”

During this process, the hypnotherapist should provide plenty of suggestions to help the person vent the original fear in addition to desensitizing the client to specific content of the recurring dream. “It might frighten you a bit, but that’s okay because it’s the last time you will ever dream it. You will feel the dream fading and disappearing,” Dr. Kappas advised.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018