Defense Mechanism: Withdrawal

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on January 5, 2015)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

   Have you ever ignored or tried to “freeze out” or just stop talking to someone you are arguing with once emotions start running high? Has your spouse, partner or friend ever done this to you? Sometimes people avoid visiting or contacting someone who is seriously or even terminally ill as a means of denying the seriousness of the disease and protecting yourself from experiencing any emotional distress that this contact may trigger in you. These scenarios are examples of withdrawal, a powerful defense mechanism in which a person shuts off communication with another individual or even physically withdraws from an unpleasant circumstance as a means of self-protection.

    Like other defense mechanisms, withdrawal is: 1) unconscious; 2) self-deceptive; 3) and it distorts reality through thoughts and action. “Change is a threat to the subconscious mind,” said John Kappas, Ph.D. According to the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder’s Theory of Mind, people are subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. Whenever someone says or does something that causes physical injury, hurts your feelings or challenges your beliefs, the mind automatically tries to compensate for this threat or “pain” by activating this or another form of defense mechanism.

    To help a client work through this defense mechanism, I would start by asking about the nature of the fear and how this fear is negatively affecting your daily life and interactions with others. Do you withdraw from others during an argument to avoid having to face the negative implications of “losing” the debate or being wrong about a philosophical opinion? Once you have identified the specific motivation behind the avoidance, in hypnosis I would desensitize you to those negative associations and employ guided-imagery techniques so you could imagine how it would feel to listen to a different opinion and be open to learning something new.

    In another example, if you are emotionally withdrawing from or avoiding a terminally ill relative because you don't want to face her own mortality, I would explore your conceptions about death and dying and what losing this person means/would mean to you. To further help prepare you for visiting the patient, I would desensitize you to hear fear/anxiety and any expectations or ideas you may have about the person’s illness and any expectations you hold about what you might perceive or experience during the interaction. I would use guided-imagery techniques to help you imagine feeling calm, comfortable and relaxed during your interactions with the person so you can enjoy the time you spend together.

               

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

 

 

 

Fear of Being Alone

 To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus and COVID-19 variants, I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. Meanwhile, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on October 28, 2016)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

 

If there is no specific cause for being afraid of being alone—for example, a specific traumatic incident that threatened the person, such as a physical attack—the individual may be agoraphobia. The late Dr. Ron Hodges, a psychiatrist and colleague of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., and former director of the Atlanta, Georgia branch of HMI, contended that fear of being alone is many people’s Number One Fear. Since this reaction is often associated with low blood-sugar levels, it is imperative for the hypnotherapist to address this issue before working with the client to alleviate the actual fear or phobia.

“[Fear of being alone] is an irrational fear based on physical sensations,” Dr. Kappas explained. “You think something will happen to you.” These include irregular heartbeat, dizziness, shaking, confusion, increased suggestibility and anxiety or panic. But the related anxiety of losing control, which is triggered by these physiological sensations, forms the basis of this fear. Once better nutrition is established and the person’s blood-sugar levels are stabilized, the hypnotherapist must teach the client face the fear of being alone. This is accomplished by demonstrating how to induce and ameliorate the physical symptoms that come up whenever he or she thinks about situations that typically trigger fear.

“Desensitize the physical feelings for every situation you feel the fear. It’s got nothing to do with the event,” he said. Remember that it can take some time—months or even years—until the person can completely overcome this fear, Dr. Kappas warned.

 

 

Limited-Time Special Offer: Free 30-minute Phone/Zoom Consultation

 January—the start of a new year—is a great time to fulfil New Year’s resolutions and complete projects you may have been putting off. Call/send me a text message at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation and find out why hypnosis and therapeutic guided imagery are such effective modalities to help you achieve your self-improvement goals and finish those projects! 

 

Offer valid through February 28, 2022. May not be combined with any other offer. Not redeemable for cash.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (July 2019, September 2020, July 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

Different Therapeutic Approaches to Treat Fears vs. Phobias

(This blog was originally posted on September 19, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Fears and phobias/anxiety may reflect similar feelings, but they are actually separate conditions that require different treatments. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., when you have a fear of something, you can attribute the reaction to the memory of a specific incident—usually one that occurred during childhood. Conversely, the phobia is typically associated with a sudden drop in blood-sugar that triggers physiological symptoms including shaking, weakness, confusion, anxiety and even paranoia that have nothing to do with what a specific environmental trigger. However, the resulting subconscious fear of loss of control or even death becomes attributed to that trigger (e.g., fear of flying, insects) because that is the only explicable source of anxiety, according to the conscious mind. 

Both therapies entail educating the individual about the role of nutrition in exacerbating or even triggering the initial fear/phobic response during the cognitive/alert portion of the session. Most important, the hypnotherapist must help the client realize and believe that the person is able to control this reaction. Having said that, each response (fear versus phobia) requires a different hypnotherapeutic approach to achieve this outcome.

Circle therapy enables the person to progressively experience more intense fear reactions during hypnosis and then “pass” through it (relax) to a deeper state of hypnosis. Post-hypnotic suggestions reinforce that the individual is able to control this fear in this way and that the fear response is no longer a necessary part of his or her life. The best way to face a fear is to face it down, Dr. Kappas advised. “Face it by realizing you yourself can create it. You’re not facing the fear, you’re facing the feeling,” he explained. 

Conversely, phobias start from physiological feelings that the person fears will result in loss of control or even death. While this reaction can be triggered by dreams or stress, it’s generally an illogical fear response and not based on personal experience. The best way to treat a phobia is by using systematic desensitization and double-bind techniques that work together to gradually reduce the negative association/response while making the response increasingly difficult to experience. Circle therapy is not used to work through a phobia because the technique can reinforce or even exacerbate the negative response.

However, a long-held fear can also morph into agoraphobia, or a fear of open spaces, Dr. Kappas warned. It is possible to manage agoraphobia through diet/nutrition, a therapeutic approach that is recommended and effective to control other phobias. It is important to deal with any relapse of the original fear right away and then start dealing with anticipatory anxiety about experiencing that fear, which has likely developed through the agoraphobic response.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Fear of Being Alone

(This blog was originally posted on October 28, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

If there is no specific cause for being afraid of being alone—for example, a specific traumatic incident that threatened the person, such as a physical attack—the individual may have agoraphobia. The late Dr. Ron Hodges, a psychiatrist and colleague of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., and former director of the Atlanta, Georgia branch of HMI, contended that fear of being alone is many people’s Number One Fear. Since this reaction is often associated with low blood-sugar levels, it is imperative for the hypnotherapist to address this issue before working with the client to alleviate the actual fear or phobia.

“[Fear of being alone] is an irrational fear based on physical sensations,” Dr. Kappas explained. “You think something will happen to you.” These include irregular heartbeat, dizziness, shaking, confusion, increased suggestibility and anxiety or panic. But the related anxiety of losing control, which is triggered by these physiological sensations, forms the basis of this fear. Once better nutrition is established and the person’s blood-sugar levels are stabilized, the hypnotherapist must teach the client face the fear of being alone. This is accomplished by demonstrating how to induce and ameliorate the physical symptoms that come up whenever he or she thinks about situations that typically trigger fear.

“Desensitize the physical feelings for every situation you feel the fear. It’s got nothing to do with the event,” he said. Remember that it can take some time—months or even years—until the person can completely overcome this fear, Dr. Kappas warned.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Dealing with Rejection in Hypnotherapy

(This blog was originally posted on March 17, 2016)

Image courtesy of Microsoft

John Kappas, Ph.D., observed once observed that “Emotional rejection is probably the most difficult [challenge] to overcome.” This may be particularly true of the high-level Physical Sexual men and women. These individuals often build their sense of identity and self-worth around the partner and relationship; when the relationship ends, the person’s confidence and perception of self-worth also plummet. The degree of the person’s physical sexuality and the level of devastation of the rejection will determine how long he or she “hangs on” to the former partner, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder explained.

Since a Physical Sexual can only accept that there is a possibility to save the relationship, the first step in hypnotherapy is to affirm the client’s belief, Dr. Kappas advised. At this stage, the hypnotherapist should encourage the person to think about the partner’s good qualities and examine the positive things that happened during and since the relationship began. The individual should be encouraged to describe every detail of the relationship: how long it lasted, who rejected whom, what caused the break-up and how many times “x” event occurred that precipitated the break-up. “Continue to revisit these memories with the client until the pain is gone,” he suggested.

It is important for the hypnotherapist to acknowledge that the client is hurting emotionally, but remind the person that it does not help to blame either party or the break-up for this distress. Instead, remind the individual that the estranged partner was attracted to him or her during the relationship, but something happened during this time that changed the attraction and the person went in another direction.

“A Physical Sexual can’t accept that the partner was at fault in a break-up,” Dr. Kappas said. Even if the partner had another lover or was having an affair, the client is likely to blame the third party for ruining the relationship. The hypnotherapist must gently remind the client that it is the partner who chose to leave their relationship, not the other lover (likely, a Physical Sexual) that he or she is with, now.

It is important to help rebuild the client’s self-confidence so the person can stop grieving for the partner and start to move away from the lost relationship, toward a new life. If the client continues to maintain superficial involvement with the former partner and is still hanging on to the previous relationship, this behavior must also be exposed. “The client must get what’s necessary from the past relationship to get closure on it,” the hypnotherapist explained.

A Physical Sexual’s response to rejection is mostly a phobic reaction, based on misconceptions about the relationship. Dr. Kappas suggested that when the client has not completely let go of the ex-partner or former relationship, the best therapeutic strategy is to desensitize the person to the relationship/partner and expose the facts about it. If the client is/was in an extremely bad relationship and enjoyed no “good times” during that time, in hypnosis have him or her repeatedly bring up all of the “bad times” and then pass those memories (Circle Therapy). If there were any good elements of the relationship, the client should bring those up first, before bombarding his or her subconscious mind with negative associations about the partner, Dr. Kappas advised.

“Desensitize the [person] to hurt by giving more pleasure in the relationship and search out what [the client really wants,” he said.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017