Thursday, March 30, 2023

Defense Mechanism: Withdrawal

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on January 5, 2015)


Photo by Rick Hustead

 

   Have you ever ignored or tried to “freeze out” or just stop talking to someone you are arguing with once emotions start running high? Has your spouse, partner or friend ever done this to you? Sometimes people avoid visiting or contacting someone who is seriously or even terminally ill as a means of denying the seriousness of the disease and protecting yourself from experiencing any emotional distress that this contact may trigger in you. These scenarios are examples of withdrawal, a powerful defense mechanism in which a person shuts off communication with another individual or even physically withdraws from an unpleasant circumstance as a means of self-protection.

    Like other defense mechanisms, withdrawal is: 1) unconscious; 2) self-deceptive; 3) and it distorts reality through thoughts and action. “Change is a threat to the subconscious mind,” said John Kappas, Ph.D. According to the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder’s Theory of Mind, people are subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. Whenever someone says or does something that causes physical injury, hurts your feelings or challenges your beliefs, the mind automatically tries to compensate for this threat or “pain” by activating this or another form of defense mechanism.

    To help a client work through this defense mechanism, I would start by asking about the nature of the fear and how this fear is negatively affecting your daily life and interactions with others. Do you withdraw from others during an argument to avoid having to face the negative implications of “losing” the debate or being wrong about a philosophical opinion? Once you have identified the specific motivation behind the avoidance, in hypnosis I would desensitize you to those negative associations and employ guided-imagery techniques so you could imagine how it would feel to listen to a different opinion and be open to learning something new.

    In another example, if you are emotionally withdrawing from or avoiding a terminally ill relative because you don't want to face her own mortality, I would explore your conceptions about death and dying and what losing this person means/would mean to you. To further help prepare you for visiting the patient, I would desensitize you to hear fear/anxiety and any expectations or ideas you may have about the person’s illness and any expectations you hold about what you might perceive or experience during the interaction. I would use guided-imagery techniques to help you imagine feeling calm, comfortable and relaxed during your interactions with the person so you can enjoy the time you spend together.

               

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

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