Thursday, July 18, 2019

When the Presenting Issue Is Actually a Symptom



(This blog was originally posted on June 10, 2015)

Photo by Rick Hustead



Sometimes, an issue that a client presents to the hypnotherapist during a therapy session is a symptom rather than the cause of another problem. For example, increased anxiety and various signs of physical discomfort such as light-headedness, headache or nausea may suggest that the individual is experiencing symptoms of low blood-sugar levels rather than just responding to a specific stress trigger. Low blood-sugar levels can also trigger a phobic reaction. (For more information about this relationship, see my blog titled Nutrition and the Development of Fears and Phobias.) In this case, it is important for the hypnotherapist to work with the client’s physician to create an appropriate nutrition program to control the blood-sugar level and incorporate suggestions about nutrition and healthy eating during hypnosis to reduce these symptoms.

However, it is also possible that a client’s behaviors or emotional responses/reactions are actually manifestations of his or her repressed emotions: i.e., a body syndrome. Once a licensed medical doctor has ruled out a physical etiology (cause) of the symptom, the hypnotherapist may explore the cause of the symptom in the context of body syndromes. For example, persistent pain in the client’s shoulders and upper back (Responsibility Syndrome) may provide a secondary gain of being “allowed” to avoid participating in certain activities undesirable at work or with the person’s family.

For example, Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., explained how a client’s persistent hoarse throat and fatigue was actually a symptom of her subconscious resistance toward the woman’s husband/manager’s pushing her to accomplish something. The client, a singer, also experienced symptoms of low blood-sugar that were brought on by her husband’s demands for perfection in her performances. The hypnotherapist determined that his client was subconsciously motivated to use her hoarse throat as a way to avoid having to sing when she didn’t feel like it. Consequently, Dr. Kappas approached her therapy by first addressing her behaviors (e.g., feeling tired and hoarseness). He explained how her nutrition contributed to her feeling tired and recommended ways to change her diet that would increase her energy. Next, he explored with her the various reasons why (cause) she was experiencing the hoarseness and addressed the client’s perception of her husband’s perfectionist tendencies as a source of her stress and subconscious resistance.

Once the client understood how the various sources of perceived external and internal pressure on her to perform were affecting her behavior, the hypnotherapist discussed ways of treating her symptoms. First, Dr. Kappas encouraged her and her husband to separately work with a therapist to work out some of their professional conflicts. Then he worked with the client to help her husband agree that they could change their interactions with each other and how this behavior change could be achieved. Ultimately, the woman’s symptoms would dissipate as her relationship with her spouse/manager improved, thus ameliorating her subconscious desire to avoid singing/performing because their pattern of interacting with each other became less stressful.



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Let the power of your subconscious mind help you release extra weight and increase your motivation to make healthier eating/nutrition and exercise choices. Book the entire 10-week series and save $250!





Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2019

 

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

All About Emotional & Physical Sexuality, Part 3


(This blog was originally posted on February 4, 2016)



Photo by Rick Hustead







In my previous blogs titled All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1 and All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 2, I described characteristics of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s cornerstone therapeutic model, Emotional and Physical Sexuality. Once you understand how behaviors and motivations of the respective partners affects a relationship, this model can help improve the relationship or even amicably separate from a partner if the relationship has run its course. The Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder used this model to successfully help thousands of hypnotherapy clients to negotiate conflicts in their romantic and personal relationships.
Following is a summary of how the Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual partner behaves in a relationship.


Emotionals vs. Physicals
  •  Emotional Sexual individuals don’t like to confront their partner. Physical Sexual individuals have no problem asking for or “demanding” what they want and need.
  • Guilt controls the Emotional Sexual partner. The Physical Sexual partner feels actual, physical pain during a break-up, but when the relationship is over an Emotional “seems” to move on to a new relationship. (A bad break-up can take the Physical out of the dating game for a very long time in some cases, or subconsciously “chooses” another Physical partner because the previous experience with the Emotional lover/end of relationship was so traumatic.)
  • The Emotional Sexual partner has 3-day cycles for sexual receptiveness. Day “3” is optimal for sexual intimacy/likelihood of the Emotional Sexual to solicit sexual contact from the partner. On day 3, the Emotional Sexual is most “Physical” (sub-dominance).
  • Sex and the relationship are two different/separate things for the Emotional Sexual partner. The Emotional Sexual can compartmentalize: “It’s ‘just’ sex” with a mistress.
  • Sex and the relationship are the one and the same for the Physical Sexual partner. A Physical Sexual person can’t imagine being sexually intimate without “feeling” an emotional connection with the other person.
  • BOTH the Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual partner wants control in the relationship but go about getting it in different ways. For example, the Physical Sexual partner shouts/pouts/makes demands for more attention. Conversely, the Emotional Sexual Partner freezes out/ignores the Physical Sexual partner, which makes the Physical Sexual partner become even more needy—shouting/making demands until one of them walks away from the relationship or reconciles the difference.
The goal of the Physical Sexual partner is to raise the Emotional partner’s subdominant (Physical Sexual) trait in order to receive the affection and attention that he or she needs and craves. The goal of the Emotional Sexual partner is to lower the Physical Sexual partner’s physicality in order to give the Emotional more “space” to feel desire and come forward. To reduce negative tension and increase physical desire between the Emotional and Physical Sexual partners, Dr. Kappas recommended that each individual “give a Twinkie” ( a metaphoric treat or favor) in the form of a desired behavior, from time to time. For example:
  • The Physical Sexual partner can give the Emotional partner “space” to do his/her own thing for a little while or be an asset to the Emotional partner’s career.
  • The Emotional Sexual partner can send love notes to the Physical partner, have flowers delivered, etc. to show that he/she is thinking about the other person even when not in the mood for physical intimacy.
  • Understanding the 3-day cycle and planning intimacy around this is “giving a Twinkie” as well. Physical partner is usually responsible for this gesture because the Physical is most likely to feel/be sensitive to Emotional partner’s inadvertent rejection on Day 1 and Day 2 of the sexual cycle.
  • The Emotional partner has 3-day cycles for sexual receptiveness. Day “3” is optimal for sexual intimacy/likelihood of the Emotional to solicit sexual contact from the partner. On day 3, the Emotional is most “Physical” (sub-dominance).
  • Cubicle release: Emotional wants a strong sensation/ultimate sexual experience to really “feel” intimate with the partner. 1 ejaculation vs. 3 ½ for the physical partner, who can ejaculate in smaller volumes to have many experiences.
  • “Buy the symptoms” of the opposite behavior: When the Emotional is cycling, it’s not about you (the Physical partner). It’s about cycle days, so give the Emotional partner the space to come to you (the physical partner). If the Emotional partner only encounters the Physical partner on a cycle day, he/she can feel even more physical. This good experience shortens the length of time between cycle days.


Summer Promotion: Hypnosis for Weight Loss

Let the power of your subconscious mind help you release extra weight and increase your motivation to make healthier eating/nutrition and exercise choices. Book the entire 10-week series and save $250!






Summer Promotion: Hypnosis for Weight Loss

Let the power of your subconscious mind help you release extra weight and increase your motivation to make healthier eating/nutrition and exercise choices. Book the entire 10-week series and save $250!




References:
1.       Kappas, Ph.D., John G. Relationship Strategies: The E & P Attraction. Panorama Publishing, Tarzana, California. © 1992.



Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2019