How Passive-Aggressive Behavior Affects Motivation

 

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

 

(This blog was originally posted on August 29, 2016)

 

Photo by Sara Fogan

 

 

According to Erik Erickson’s Stages of Development model, passive-aggressive behavior begins when a child is between three to six years old (Loco-Motor stage), when he or she is just starting to become independent. The youngster also learns about guilt and initiative at this time. Erickson observed that if a child is punished or discouraged from expressing initiative, he or she would try to sabotage the parents. For example, the individual might wet or soil the pants instead of going to the bathroom despite having been toilet trained. This kind of passive-aggressive behavior carries over into adulthood as a way to subtly hurt or frustrate someone as if to teach a lesson to the other person. However, it is ultimately the person who behaves in this passive-aggression way who suffers the most.

John Kappas, Ph.D., considered passive-aggressive behavior part of a “losing syndrome” in which the person subconsciously always expects to fail because he or she was never allowed or encouraged to succeed at a task, or was even punished for being assertive. An example of passive-aggressive behavior in adulthood is an employee saying or doing something at work that contradicts the workplace environment/culture that jeopardizes the individual’s chances of promotion or even gets the person fired.

In the above example, Dr. Kappas worked with a man who sought hypnotherapy to increase his motivation about his job and stop procrastinating. The client conceded that he had had 20 jobs over the years; despite feeling optimistic and believing he would succeed at the beginning of each employment, it ultimately wouldn’t work out. When asked why the jobs didn’t work, the client blamed his co-workers when something went wrong; or, he became bored very quickly if he didn’t feel challenged if the job didn’t pay well.

To help the client work through these issues, the hypnotherapist identified and pointed out common denominators between the unwanted behavior (procrastination and low motivation) and the man’s passive-aggressive tendencies. Examples included tardiness to work, tendency to daydream, avoidance of responsibility and failing to show up at meetings or appointments. Next, Dr. Kappas recommended specific dietary changes to stabilize the client’s blood-sugar level and reduce anxiety and frustration. He also gave the client positive suggestions for future personal growth and appreciation of his abilities. Finally, Dr. Kappas introduced him to the Mental Bank Concept to increase the client’s motivation and sense of self-worth.

“Passive aggressiveness gets worse as the person gets older,” warned the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder, which is why it is so important to obviate these behaviors sooner than later to ensure continued growth and opportunities for self-improvement.

 

  

April Promotion: Hypnosis to Stop Smoking! $800 for six, weekly sessions lasting approximately one hour each week. This is a $100 savings! (A la carte sessions cost $150 each.) In addition, I will waive the $200 fee for the separate First Session if you purchase and book the six-week package up front.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

 

Motivational Inertia

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on April 12, 2014)

 

Photo courtesy of Fotolia

 

               

Some days vibrate with so much energy in the environment it is literally impossible to sit or stand still. We are enthusiastic about everything going on around us and can’t wait to get in on the action, ourselves. In our enthusiasm, we accept requests to take on new projects or tasks. Our mojo is so strong, we are confident that we can—we will—accomplish even Herculean feats, and we do just that. Indeed, as Sir Isaac Newton’s Law of Motion states, “An object in rest tends to stay in rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion.” The same is true of human behavior, too. You have probably heard or know of the expression, “Ask a busy person” to do a task. This law applies here because someone who is already active, even frenetically busy, can somehow always find a way to do one more thing.

And then there are other days when it seems like nothing can motivate or inspire us to do anything, at all. We sit at our desk at work shuffling papers, organizing the filing cabinet, checking e-mail and re-reading the first paragraph of the document that’s been sitting on our desk since the morning. We take repeated treks to the break room to get another cup of Joe, hoping that a not-so-brisk walk down the hall and more coffee just might kick-start our energy enough to do something productive. It doesn’t.

The problem is, when you are rewarded in some way for not doing a behavior, the subconscious mind may create a new mental script to support this new known (source of pleasure or comfort) in your life. The reward may be inferred, such as your boss didn’t yell at you to get back to work; or maybe your employer just accepted your subpar-quality project without comment. If you already follow a hypnotic script that is programmed for you to always do your best work, you may breathe a sigh of relief that you got away with it today but get back to working hard tomorrow. Conversely, if you generally have difficulty motivating yourself and did not suffer any negative consequences not working so hard today, you may conclude that this behavior is really okay. The more times you are able to avoid doing a task or project, or get away with producing an inadequate product, you will reinforce this behavior and ultimately create a new mental script that compels you to not do something. (For more information about this process and John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, read my blog titled, Why Being Uncomfortable Feels Comfortable. 

Following are some suggestions to help you get moving when you find yourself “stuck” in motivational inertia:

• “Chunk” it down. This Neuro-Linguistic Programming technique is very effective because it enables you to break down whatever you are working on into manageable tasks that can easily be accomplished.
• Use the Emotional Freedom Technique to break through the conscious blocks that are preventing you from settling down to or focusing on your work.
• Take a brisk walk around the block. Consistent with Newton’s Law of Motion, once you start moving your body, it is easier to keep it (and your mind) active. Ten or fifteen minutes of exercise is a great way to raise your energy so you can be and feel more alert when you get back to work. Not only are you likely to discover that you are better able to focus on your job but this productive time spent away from your desk has even inspired some new ideas as well as your motivation.
• Watch what you eat. When your blood-sugar level drops, you are vulnerable to experiencing physiological symptoms such as headache, nausea and weakness, as well as increased levels of anxiety and irritability. Furthermore, in his work with people who developed phobias, Dr. Kappas observed that low blood-sugar levels could trigger a phobic response and increase the person’s suggestibility. If you are already stressed out because you have a lot of work to catch up on, have a healthy snack or meal that includes some form of protein, which will help to mediate your mood. Also, avoid caffeine, which can exacerbate those symptoms and increase anxiety.
• Hypnotherapy! Hypnosis and therapeutic guided imagery are effective, natural and drug-free modalities with which to motivate you (or re-learn how it feels to be motivated to do what you want and need to get done.

  

Special Discount for Military Personnel & 1^st Responders

 Special Offer: 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, ER physicians and nurses, COVID-19 Ward staff).

*Not to be combined with any other promotions or discounts. Offer not redeemable for cash.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

How Passive-Aggressive Behavior Affects Motivation

 To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus and COVID-19 variants, I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. Meanwhile, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

 

(This blog was originally posted on August 29, 2016)

 

Photo by Sara Fogan

 

 

According to Erik Erickson’s Stages of Development model, passive-aggressive behavior begins when a child is between three to six years old (Loco-Motor stage), when he or she is just starting to become independent. The youngster also learns about guilt and initiative at this time. Erickson observed that if a child is punished or discouraged from expressing initiative, he or she would try to sabotage the parents. For example, the individual might wet or soil the pants instead of going to the bathroom despite having been toilet trained. This kind of passive-aggressive behavior carries over into adulthood as a way to subtly hurt or frustrate someone as if to teach a lesson to the other person. However, it is ultimately the person who behaves in this passive-aggression way who suffers the most.

John Kappas, Ph.D., considered passive-aggressive behavior part of a “losing syndrome” in which the person subconsciously always expects to fail because he or she was never allowed or encouraged to succeed at a task, or was even punished for being assertive. An example of passive-aggressive behavior in adulthood is an employee saying or doing something at work that contradicts the workplace environment/culture that jeopardizes the individual’s chances of promotion or even gets the person fired.

In the above example, Dr. Kappas worked with a man who sought hypnotherapy to increase his motivation about his job and stop procrastinating. The client conceded that he had had 20 jobs over the years; despite feeling optimistic and believing he would succeed at the beginning of each employment, it ultimately wouldn’t work out. When asked why the jobs didn’t work, the client blamed his co-workers when something went wrong; or, he became bored very quickly if he didn’t feel challenged if the job didn’t pay well.

To help the client work through these issues, the hypnotherapist identified and pointed out common denominators between the unwanted behavior (procrastination and low motivation) and the man’s passive-aggressive tendencies. Examples included tardiness to work, tendency to daydream, avoidance of responsibility and failing to show up at meetings or appointments. Next, Dr. Kappas recommended specific dietary changes to stabilize the client’s blood-sugar level and reduce anxiety and frustration. He also gave the client positive suggestions for future personal growth and appreciation of his abilities. Finally, Dr. Kappas introduced him to the Mental Bank Concept to increase the client’s motivation and sense of self-worth.

“Passive aggressiveness gets worse as the person gets older,” warned the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder, which is why it is so important to obviate these behaviors sooner than later to ensure continued growth and opportunities for self-improvement.

 

 

Limited-Time Special Offer: Free 30-minute Phone/Zoom Consultation

 January—the start of a new year—is a great time to fulfil New Year’s resolutions and complete projects you may have been putting off. Call/send me a text message at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com to set up your free, 30-minute phone or Zoom consultation and find out why hypnosis and therapeutic guided imagery are such effective modalities to help you achieve your self-improvement goals and finish those projects! 

 

Offer valid through February 28, 2022. May not be combined with any other offer. Not redeemable for cash.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (July 2019, September 2020, July 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2022

 

Motivational Inertia

 

To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus and COVID-19 variants, I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. Meanwhile, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on April 12, 2014)

 

Photo courtesy of Fotolia

 

             

Some days vibrate with so much energy in the environment it is literally impossible to sit or stand still. We are enthusiastic about everything going on around us and can’t wait to get in on the action, ourselves. In our enthusiasm, we accept requests to take on new projects or tasks. Our mojo is so strong, we are confident that we can—we will—accomplish even Herculean feats, and we do just that. Indeed, as Sir Isaac Newton’s Law of Motion states, “An object in rest tends to stay in rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion.” The same is true of human behavior, too. You have probably heard or know of the expression, “Ask a busy person” to do a task. This law applies here because someone who is already active, even frenetically busy, can somehow always find a way to do one more thing.

And then there are other days when it seems like nothing can motivate or inspire us to do anything, at all. We sit at our desk at work shuffling papers, organizing the filing cabinet, checking e-mail and re-reading the first paragraph of the document that’s been sitting on our desk since the morning. We take repeated treks to the break room to get another cup of Joe, hoping that a not-so-brisk walk down the hall and more coffee just might kick-start our energy enough to do something productive. It doesn’t.

The problem is, when you are rewarded in some way for not doing a behavior, the subconscious mind may create a new mental script to support this new known (source of pleasure or comfort) in your life. The reward may be inferred, such as your boss didn’t yell at you to get back to work; or maybe your employer just accepted your subpar-quality project without comment. If you already follow a subconscious mental script that is programmed for you to always do your best work, you may breathe a sigh of relief that you got away with it today but get back to working hard tomorrow. Conversely, if you generally have difficulty motivating yourself and did not suffer any negative consequences not working so hard today, you may conclude that this behavior is really okay. The more times you are able to avoid doing a task or project, or get away with producing an inadequate product, you will reinforce this behavior and ultimately create a new mental script that compels you to not do something. (For more information about this process and John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, read my blog titled, Why Being Uncomfortable Feels Comfortable.

Following are some suggestions to help you get moving when you find yourself “stuck” in motivational inertia:

• “Chunk” it down. This Neuro-Linguistic Programming technique is very effective because it enables you to break down whatever you are working on into manageable tasks that can easily be accomplished.
• Use the Emotional Freedom Technique to break through the conscious blocks that are preventing you from settling down to or focusing on your work.
• Take a brisk walk around the block. Consistent with Newton’s Law of Motion, once you start moving your body, it is easier to keep it (and your mind) active. Ten or fifteen minutes’ of exercise is a great way to raise your energy so you can be and feel more alert when you get back to work. Not only are you likely to discover that you are better able to focus on your job but this productive time spent away from your desk has even inspired some new ideas as well as your motivation.
• Watch what you eat. When your blood-sugar level drops, you are vulnerable to experiencing physiological symptoms such as headache, nausea and weakness, as well as increased levels of anxiety and irritability. Furthermore, in his work with people who developed phobias, Dr. Kappas observed that low blood-sugar levels could trigger a phobic response and increase the person’s suggestibility. If you are already stressed out because you have a lot of work to catch up on, have a healthy snack or meal that includes some form of protein, which will help to mediate your mood. Also, avoid caffeine, which can exacerbate those symptoms and increase anxiety.
• Hypnotherapy! Hypnosis and therapeutic guided imagery are effective, natural and drug-free modalities with which to motivate you (or re-learn how it feels to be motivated to do what you want and need to get done.

 

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 and in September 2020 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2021

 

More Thoughts of the Day

 To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus, I am temporarily suspending in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, Skype and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

Thoughts of the Day

 

Photo by Sara Fogan

 

Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

 

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life.” – Golda Meir

“You’ll never leave where you are until you decide where you’d rather be.” – Dexter Yager

“You cannot change what you refuse to confront.” — Unknown

“Always believe that something wonderful is happening, and will always continue to happen.” – Bruce Van Horn

“Worry accomplishes nothing. Live today to the fullest and regret no wasted moment, tomorrow comes soon enough.” – Bille Baty

“Happiness consists not in having much, but in being content with little.” – Marguerite Gardiner

“Don’t put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the further you get.” – Michael Phelps

“I love that this morning’s sunrise does not define itself by last night’s sunset.” – Steve Maraboli

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” – Ernest Hemingway

 

 

December Promotion: Quit Smoking with Hypnotherapy

Let hypnotherapy help you become a permanent ex-smoker! Package #1 is six sessions and helps you kick the habit gradually ($800 when paid in full, up front, including  the First/Intro session in the cost). Package #2 is one, two-hour session for people who smoke 5 or fewer cigarettes per day. Please go to the link below for prices and more details about each offer ($275, may be required to also do the First/Intro session if you have never been hypnotized before). 

 

*These promotions may not be combined with any other offer. It is non-transferable and may not be exchanged for cash.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 and in September 2020 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2020

 

 

 

How Passive-Aggressive Behavior Affects Motivation

 To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus, I am temporarily suspending in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, Skype and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE!

 

(This blog was originally posted on August 29, 2016)

 

Photo by Sara Fogan

 

 

According to Erik Erickson’s Stages of Development model, passive-aggressive behavior begins when a child is between three to six years old (Loco-Motor stage), when he or she is just starting to become independent. The youngster also learns about guilt and initiative at this time. Erickson observed that if a child is punished or discouraged from expressing initiative, he or she would try to sabotage the parents. For example, the individual might wet or soil the pants instead of going to the bathroom despite having been toilet trained. This kind of passive-aggressive behavior carries over into adulthood as a way to subtly hurt or frustrate someone as if to teach a lesson to the other person. However, it is ultimately the person who behaves in this passive-aggressive way who suffers the most.

John Kappas, Ph.D., considered passive-aggressive behavior part of a “losing syndrome” in which the person subconsciously always expects to fail because he or she was never allowed or encouraged to succeed at a task, or was even punished for being assertive. An example of passive-aggressive behavior in adulthood is an employee saying or doing something at work that contradicts the workplace environment/culture that jeopardizes the individual’s chances of promotion or even gets the person fired.

In the above example, Dr. Kappas worked with a man who sought hypnotherapy to increase his motivation about his job and stop procrastinating. The client conceded that he had had 20 jobs over the years; despite feeling optimistic and believing he would succeed at the beginning of each employment, it ultimately wouldn’t work out. When asked why the jobs didn’t work, the client blamed his co-workers when something went wrong; or, he became bored very quickly if he didn’t feel challenged if the job didn’t pay well.

To help the client work through these issues, the hypnotherapist identified and pointed out common denominators between the unwanted behavior (procrastination and low motivation) and the man’s passive-aggressive tendencies. Examples included tardiness to work, tendency to daydream, avoidance of responsibility and failing to show up at meetings or appointments. Next, Dr. Kappas recommended specific dietary changes to stabilize the client’s blood-sugar level and reduce anxiety and frustration, and gave him positive suggestions for future personal growth and appreciation of his abilities. Finally, Dr. Kappas introduced him to the Mental Bank Concept to increase the client’s motivation and sense of self-worth.

“Passive aggressiveness gets worse as the person gets older,” warned the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder, which is why it is so important to obviate these behaviors sooner than later to ensure continued growth and opportunities for self-improvement.

 

 

Special Discount for First Responders

 25 percent discount off the first hypnotherapy session for all active/retired military personnel and first responders (police, fire-fighters, EMT/paramedics, ambulance personnel, emergency dispatchers, ER doctors, ER nurses) plus $10 off a la carte sessions!*

 

*This promotion may not be combined with any other offer. It is non-transferable and may not be exchanged for cash. Promotion ends on November 30, 2020

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. In July 2019 and in September 2020 she was voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2020