Showing posts with label characteristics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label characteristics. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 11, 2022

All About Emotional & Physical Sexuality, Part 1

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on February 2, 2016)


Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

The concept of Emotional and Physical Sexuality formed the cornerstone of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s  therapeutic philosophies and approach. He believed that these personality traits were more important and influential than a person’s suggestibility, because sexual personality was all about the individual’s motivations and behavior in an intimate relationship.

Whereas suggestibility (how we learn) is learned/acquired from the primary caretaker (usually, mom), the secondary caretaker (typically dad or another father figure) typically models sexual personality traits. Like suggestibility, a person’s Sexual Personality (“E & P”) is described as varying degrees of “Emotional” and “Physical” characteristics. However, emotional and physical Sexual Personality characteristics are not interchangeable with emotional and physical Suggestibility. In his research, Dr. Kappas observed that an individual’s Sexual Personality starts to develop during childhood, typically when the youngster is between eight and fourteen years old. He hypothesized that, at a very subconscious level, modeling the sexual personality traits of the father figure is a way for the child to get (metaphorically) closer to Mother.

Unlike suggestibility, which can change somewhat and be affected by different events in an individual’s life, Sexual Personality does not alter that much during a person’s lifetime. Furthermore, these characteristics facilitate understanding and the ability to predict and shape a person’s behavior. I and my colleagues who also went through the hypnotherapy certification program at HMI appreciate the value and utility of this model when we work with our own clients to achieve their vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.


Following are highlights of Dr. Kappas’s model of E&P Sexual Personality

  • Emotional and Physical Sexuality is NOT a male/female thing. The male can be emotional and the female can be Physical, and vice versa.
  • Opposites attract: An Emotional (e.g., social wall-flower) is drawn to the Physical (e.g., social butterfly), and vice versa because we are naturally attracted to our equal opposites. There is more intensity, more vulnerability with your opposite.
  • There is a subconscious goal to increase/raise the subdominant personality. For example: The goal of the Physical partner is to raise the Emotional partner’s subdominant trait (physicality).
  • Different partners trigger different behaviors, depending on your E/P score
  • The E&P score will also differ depending on the phase of the relationship (Honeymoon vs. Crisis)
  • 50/50 scores on the Sexuality test indicate: “We don’t know what you are.” You will have a different score for different relationships, different phases of the relationship. But you will always have a basic personality.
  • You can out-Phys/out-Emo a “same” partner. “Opposite” partners/relationships are more intense, but there is 10 times more vulnerability when you are with your subconscious opposite.

 

4 CORE TRAITS of the Emotional/Physical Sexual Personality

 

(You must have positive confirmation of 3 core traits before deciding/identifying the sexual personality.)

 

  1. Parental background (when the pattern breaks, you need to find out why. Parents may be going through a different phase of their relationship.)
  2. Response to rejection (When rejected, the Physical Sexual clings to the partner vs. an Emotional Sexual, who “freezes out” the partner)
  3. Relationship with the physical body (comfortable vs. uncomfortable with physical contact) A Physical Sexual is connected/immediacy to the emotion, needs physical contact. There is a physical sensation with emotional reaction, somatization in the body. The Emotional Sexual has a disconnect of physical sensation to emotion. Sometimes the Emotional doesn’t know how he/she feels. Emotional protects the body, has a territory/boundary because the Emotional doesn’t know how they feel about their body or feelings.
  4. Patterns of personal relationships (History of E/P partners. For example, if you are constantly attracted to a Physical Sexual, you are probably an Emotional Sexual, and vice versa.)

 

I will describe the priorities and behavioral motivations of the Emotional and Sexual Personalities in my next blog.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit my website

© 2022

 

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

All About Emotional & Physical Sexuality, Part 3

To minimize risk of exposure to and spread of the COVID-19 virus and COVID-19 variants, I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. Meanwhile, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 


(This blog was originally posted on February 4, 2016)

 


Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

 

In my previous blogs titled All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1 and All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 2, I described characteristics of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s cornerstone therapeutic model, Emotional and Physical Sexuality. Once you understand how behaviors and motivations of the respective partners affects a relationship, this model can help improve the relationship or even amicably separate from a partner if the relationship has run its course. The Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder used this model to successfully help thousands of hypnotherapy clients to negotiate conflicts in their romantic and personal relationships.

Following is a summary of how the Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual partner behaves in a relationship.

 

 

Emotionals vs. Physicals

  • Emotional Sexual individuals don’t like to confront their partner. Physical Sexual individuals have no problem asking for or “demanding” what they want and need.
  • Guilt controls the Emotional Sexual partner. The Physical Sexual partner feels actual, physical pain during a break-up, but when the relationship is over an Emotional “seems” to move on to a new relationship. (A bad break-up can take the Physical out of the dating game for a very long time in some cases, or subconsciously “chooses” another Physical partner because the previous experience with the Emotional lover/end of relationship was so traumatic.)
  • The Emotional Sexual partner has 3-day cycles for sexual receptiveness. Day “3” is optimal for sexual intimacy/likelihood of the Emotional Sexual to solicit sexual contact from the partner. On day 3, the Emotional Sexual is most “Physical” (sub-dominance).
  • Sex and the relationship are two different/separate things for the Emotional Sexual partner. The Emotional Sexual can compartmentalize: “It’s ‘just’ sex” with a mistress.
  • Sex and the relationship are the one and the same for the Physical Sexual partner. A Physical Sexual person can’t imagine being sexually intimate without “feeling” an emotional connection with the other person.
  • BOTH the Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual partner wants control in the relationship but go about getting it in different ways. For example, the Physical Sexual partner shouts/pouts/makes demands for more attention. Conversely, the Emotional Sexual Partner freezes out/ignores the Physical Sexual partner, which makes the Physical Sexual partner become even more needy—shouting/making demands until one of them walks away from the relationship or reconciles the difference.

The goal of the Physical Sexual partner is to raise the Emotional partner’s subdominant (Physical Sexual) trait in order to receive the affection and attention that he or she needs and craves. The goal of the Emotional Sexual partner is to lower the Physical Sexual partner’s physicality in order to give the Emotional more “space” to feel desire and come forward. To reduce negative tension and increase physical desire between the Emotional and Physical Sexual partners, Dr. Kappas recommended that each individual “give a Twinkie” ( a metaphoric treat or favor) in the form of a desired behavior, from time to time. For example:

  • The Physical Sexual partner can give the Emotional partner “space” to do his/her own thing for a little while or be an asset to the Emotional partner’s career.

  • The Emotional Sexual partner can send love notes to the Physical partner, have flowers delivered, etc. to show that he/she is thinking about the other person even when not in the mood for physical intimacy.

  • Understanding the 3-day cycle and planning intimacy around this is “giving a Twinkie” as well. Physical partner is usually responsible for this gesture because the Physical is most likely to feel/be sensitive to Emotional partner’s inadvertent rejection on Day 1 and Day 2 of the sexual cycle.

  • The Emotional partner has 3-day cycles for sexual receptiveness. Day “3” is optimal for sexual intimacy/likelihood of the Emotional to solicit sexual contact from the partner. On day 3, the Emotional is most “Physical” (sub-dominance).
  • Cubicle release: Emotional wants a strong sensation/ultimate sexual experience to really “feel” intimate with the partner. 1 ejaculation vs. 3 ½ for the physical partner, who can ejaculate in smaller volumes to have many experiences.
  • “Buy the symptoms” of the opposite behavior: When the Emotional is cycling, it’s not about you (the Physical partner). It’s about cycle days, so give the Emotional partner the space to come to you (the physical partner). If the Emotional partner only encounters the Physical partner on a cycle day, he/she can feel even more physical. This good experience shortens the length of time between cycle days.

  

References


Kappas, Ph.D., John G. Relationship Strategies: The E & P Attraction. Panorama Publishing, Tarzana, California. © 1992.

 

 

 

Special Offer: Intensive Hypnotherapy to Quit Smoking

This session lasts approximately 2 hours. You must be smoking 5 cigarettes or fewer per day and have previously completed the First Hypnotherapy session with me to participate in this program. Relevant handouts and a free, digital reinforcement hypnosis track will be provided at the end of the session.  The Intensive Hypnotherapy to Quit Smoking session costs $275. If you also need to do the First Hypnotherapy session, I am also offering a $35 discount on the First Session if you book and pay for both up front, at the same time ($440 total). This promotional discount may not be combined with any other discount or discount package. It is not redeemable for cash. Expires on October 31, 2021.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, three years in a row (July 2019, September 2020, July 2021). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2021

 

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

All About Emotional & Physical Sexuality, Part 3


(This blog was originally posted on February 4, 2016)



Photo by Rick Hustead







In my previous blogs titled All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1 and All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 2, I described characteristics of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s cornerstone therapeutic model, Emotional and Physical Sexuality. Once you understand how behaviors and motivations of the respective partners affects a relationship, this model can help improve the relationship or even amicably separate from a partner if the relationship has run its course. The Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder used this model to successfully help thousands of hypnotherapy clients to negotiate conflicts in their romantic and personal relationships.
Following is a summary of how the Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual partner behaves in a relationship.


Emotionals vs. Physicals
  •  Emotional Sexual individuals don’t like to confront their partner. Physical Sexual individuals have no problem asking for or “demanding” what they want and need.
  • Guilt controls the Emotional Sexual partner. The Physical Sexual partner feels actual, physical pain during a break-up, but when the relationship is over an Emotional “seems” to move on to a new relationship. (A bad break-up can take the Physical out of the dating game for a very long time in some cases, or subconsciously “chooses” another Physical partner because the previous experience with the Emotional lover/end of relationship was so traumatic.)
  • The Emotional Sexual partner has 3-day cycles for sexual receptiveness. Day “3” is optimal for sexual intimacy/likelihood of the Emotional Sexual to solicit sexual contact from the partner. On day 3, the Emotional Sexual is most “Physical” (sub-dominance).
  • Sex and the relationship are two different/separate things for the Emotional Sexual partner. The Emotional Sexual can compartmentalize: “It’s ‘just’ sex” with a mistress.
  • Sex and the relationship are the one and the same for the Physical Sexual partner. A Physical Sexual person can’t imagine being sexually intimate without “feeling” an emotional connection with the other person.
  • BOTH the Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual partner wants control in the relationship but go about getting it in different ways. For example, the Physical Sexual partner shouts/pouts/makes demands for more attention. Conversely, the Emotional Sexual Partner freezes out/ignores the Physical Sexual partner, which makes the Physical Sexual partner become even more needy—shouting/making demands until one of them walks away from the relationship or reconciles the difference.
The goal of the Physical Sexual partner is to raise the Emotional partner’s subdominant (Physical Sexual) trait in order to receive the affection and attention that he or she needs and craves. The goal of the Emotional Sexual partner is to lower the Physical Sexual partner’s physicality in order to give the Emotional more “space” to feel desire and come forward. To reduce negative tension and increase physical desire between the Emotional and Physical Sexual partners, Dr. Kappas recommended that each individual “give a Twinkie” ( a metaphoric treat or favor) in the form of a desired behavior, from time to time. For example:
  • The Physical Sexual partner can give the Emotional partner “space” to do his/her own thing for a little while or be an asset to the Emotional partner’s career.
  • The Emotional Sexual partner can send love notes to the Physical partner, have flowers delivered, etc. to show that he/she is thinking about the other person even when not in the mood for physical intimacy.
  • Understanding the 3-day cycle and planning intimacy around this is “giving a Twinkie” as well. Physical partner is usually responsible for this gesture because the Physical is most likely to feel/be sensitive to Emotional partner’s inadvertent rejection on Day 1 and Day 2 of the sexual cycle.
  • The Emotional partner has 3-day cycles for sexual receptiveness. Day “3” is optimal for sexual intimacy/likelihood of the Emotional to solicit sexual contact from the partner. On day 3, the Emotional is most “Physical” (sub-dominance).
  • Cubicle release: Emotional wants a strong sensation/ultimate sexual experience to really “feel” intimate with the partner. 1 ejaculation vs. 3 ½ for the physical partner, who can ejaculate in smaller volumes to have many experiences.
  • “Buy the symptoms” of the opposite behavior: When the Emotional is cycling, it’s not about you (the Physical partner). It’s about cycle days, so give the Emotional partner the space to come to you (the physical partner). If the Emotional partner only encounters the Physical partner on a cycle day, he/she can feel even more physical. This good experience shortens the length of time between cycle days.


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References:
1.       Kappas, Ph.D., John G. Relationship Strategies: The E & P Attraction. Panorama Publishing, Tarzana, California. © 1992.



Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2019