Thoughts of the Day

 

                Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on Facebook you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

·         “Oh, yes. The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or…learn from it.” – Rafiki, The Lion King

·         “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. So if you’re feeling uncomfortable right now, know that the change taking place in your life is a beginning, not an ending.” – Neale Donald Walsch

·         “A good plan violently executed right now is far better than a perfect plan executed next week.” – General George S. Patton

·         “I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me.” – Virginia Woolf

 

·         “Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.” – German proverb

·         “Sometimes an answer not yet blowin’ is stirring in the breeze.” – Robert Brault

 ·         “Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated.” – Confucius

·         “Constant use will not wear ragged the fabric of friendship.” – Dorothy Parker

·         “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” Walter E. Disney

 ·         “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” – Mother Teresa

·         “Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you handle it.” – Lou Holtz

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

 

 

Dominant Laws of Suggestibility: The Law of Repetition

Photo courtesy of Microsoft/Bing

 

During a typical hypnotherapy session, I reinforce hypnotic suggestions in various ways during the hour or so I spend working with a client, but mostly I do this through repetition. In other words, I simply (and literally) repeat the suggestion many times and at different times during the session to reinforce the new behavior in the person’s subconscious mind.

A common and oft-repeated suggestion that I give a client during his or her hypnotherapy session is “deep sleep.” These words are employed to deepen the person’s relaxation and comfort in hypnosis so the individual can go even deeper into this state (not to encourage the person to actually fall asleep). The real work of behavior change occurs in the subconscious mind. Therefore, the more times I make this suggestion to deepen the hypnosis, the more receptive the client becomes to other hypnotic suggestions designed to implement the desired behavior change.

Depending on the client’s suggestibility (how the person learns), if the individual is an emotional suggestible and is more inclined to learn through inference, I may also use metaphors in this context. Regardless of the language I use, I will repeat the suggestion because the more often it is given or made, the more automatic the behavior becomes.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

 

Riding Lessons

(This blog was originally posted on June 15, 2011)

Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

When it comes to riding and working with horses, my education is on-going. Following are several things I have learned:

 

·         Know your geometry. When it comes to horses and riding, everything has a shape—even a straight line. Galahad and I are working on trotting a perfectly round 20-meter circle. (Let’s face it: the perfectly round circle is a lifelong goal for most equestrians!) This is more difficult than it looks: Both of us have a more comfortable “side” that we like to work on, and I tend to lean to the inside while he likes to bulge to the outside. Therefore, I keep tracing a mental image of that round circle in my mind as we trot the pattern on the ground…all while I am using my seat, leg and hand aids to keep the horse “straight”!

 

·         Ride with your eyes. This is one of horseman Chris Cox’s mantras, and his advice really been comes in handy as I practice those circles. If I don’t look where I’m going, I can’t expect my horse to know where I want us to be. But even more important is, when I sit straight and tall in the saddle, looking straight ahead where I want to ride my body is in better balance, which helps my horse to maintain his balance as he trots forward.

 

·         Ride the next stride. In other words, “the show must go on.” Every time you work with a horse, you need to have a plan. Where are you going to ride? What are you going to work on? The horse is looking to you to be his “leader,” so you must be worth following. It is easy and natural to become distracted by what is happening or has just happened during a ride. Whether your horse spooks or your circle is starting to look like a potato or the ride is going perfectly, keep riding forward. Rather than become distracted or obsess about what has just happened, file a mental note in your mind about how you dealt with the issue and ride on.

 

·         Stay in balance. Riders are often reminded that if they look down at the ground when they ride, they will be “picking the spot to land.” That may be true, but if you are feeling dizzy or off-balance when you ride, this will also affect the horse you are on. Riders at the Spanish Riding School, in Vienna, do not ride with stirrups when they ask their horses to perform the “airs above the ground” because he needs to find his balance on the horse without interfering with the animal’s balance. On several occasions, I have felt Galahad shift his balance beneath me. Even though I didn’t feel off-balance, something didn’t feel right or comfortable to him so he adjusted his body to accommodate whatever was going on with me. This experience is actually very humbling and reinforced how much the rider’s balance can affect the ease, comfort and even safety the horse can move with someone on his back.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

 

The Reaction Formation

 

                Have you ever felt (secretly) very hostile or resentful of a sibling or colleague but still behaved in a considerate, solicitous and even friendly way toward that individual? Or, have you ever put on a brave face and nonchalantly agreed to ski down a more advanced run even though you felt (privately) terrified to advance past the bunny slope? If so, you have experienced a defense mechanism known as the reaction formation.

This response is characterized by transforming negative emotions or behaviors—or, more accurately, emotions or behaviors that are perceived to be negative or inappropriate—into a more desirable and functional form. Like all other defense mechanisms, the reaction formation is characterized by four common traits: 1) it is unconscious; 2) it is self-deceptive; 3) it contains elements of denial; 4) it distorts reality through thoughts and action. Their primarily role is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain.” In this case, the pain would be caused by our peers negatively judging our attitudes or behavior that contradicts acceptable beliefs or behaviors: “How can/why do you resent someone you barely know just because he or she possesses a specific skill or talent?” Rather than risk other people’s criticism of your feelings—the origins of which are unclear even to you—you overcompensate and cultivate those more socially acceptable behaviors to be accepted in your social group.

     According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, we are all subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. In this case, social acceptance represents pleasure, whereas criticism and potential rejection from our peers are pain. Since the SCM is motivated and even programmed to seek the pleasure stimuli, we may adopt these defense mechanisms to literally “defend” against potential social rejection (pain). For example, a veterinary student who so transforms his personal dislike of dogs to specialize in caring for canines has a greater chance of running a successful veterinary practice, where dogs are often patients.

Even though almost everyone uses one to ameliorate an undesirable reaction to an unpleasant circumstance at some point, these defense mechanisms provide only a temporary perception of control over the environment. Eventually, we have to deal with and resolve the primary issue that triggered the defense mechanism to achieve personal growth.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Animals and Hypnotherapy House Calls

Photo courtesy of Microsoft/Bing

 

The first time I make a house-call to work with one of my hypnotherapy clients in his or her house, I always ask whether the individual has a dog or a cat in the home. The reason why I want to know this has nothing to do with my love for (which I do) or fear of (which I generally don’t) animals. Rather, I want to know this because most pets react in some way when their human goes into a trance state.

Even the most minute alteration in our breathing rhythm, speech pattern and/or movement or any number of minute physiological “tells” that are invisible to us immediately alert our animals when we are no longer in our usual alert and aware state. I have worked with many people whose dogs started to bark or whine as soon as they went into hypnosis. While these sounds don’t necessarily distract me from the hypnotherapy work I am doing, clients often get distracted and even distressed by their pet’s obvious confusion about their subtly altered state of conscious awareness. To avoid this, I usually suggest that the animal be secured in another room or outside during the hypnotherapy session; an even better solution is for another resident in the house to take the dog for a walk or to the park. That way, the client can enjoy the calm and relaxation that hypnosis provides while the pet does not have to sound the alarm about its human’s unusual behavior.

Over time and repeated home visits, pets typically get used to having me around and their owner’s unusual, uber-mellow demeanor during the hour or so that I am there. Sometimes the animals even hang out as if they are observing the session, themselves. Many even settle down for a long morning or afternoon nap beside the client. I don’t know that these pets actually become hypnotized along with their human, but they generally seem more relaxed and mellow by the time I leave.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

What Do You Eat?

Photo Courtesy of Microsoft

 

When Bill Maher asked when was the last time your (generic) doctor asked you what you eat on the February 6, 2015 episode of Real Time with Bill Maher, I started to wonder the same thing. Depending on what the blood-test results show, a lecture about the dangers of high cholesterol and how certain foods affect this level may be forthcoming. They also want to know if and how much I exercise each week; presumably that is because exercise is an easily quantifiable and relatively benign question to ask. Ditto for getting the stats about daily alcohol consumption (basically, none). But I honestly could not remember any time a physician or even a nurse (RN or LVN) asked me what I actually eat on a regular basis versus offering advice about what to avoid eating, altogether.

However, one of the first things I do ask my hypnotherapy clients is about their diet. This is true whether the person wants to increase his or her self-confidence, improve a golf swing or lose weight. I want to find out what they eat and even when they eat. I want to know these details because nutrition plays a huge role in how we perceive and respond to events in our environment.

Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., observed that low blood-sugar levels can exacerbate or even cause a person’s presenting problem (behavior or belief). For example, a sudden drop in blood sugar can trigger physical symptoms such as shaking, light-headedness and feeling tired, or even psychological symptoms such as depression, paranoia, irritability and memory problems. Furthermore, Dr. Kappas found an association between a person’s low blood-sugar levels and fluctuating suggestibility with the onset of a phobic response. (This fluctuation in suggestibility literally becomes obvious in our handwriting: lines of writing literally become “wavy” when the person is hungry and blood-sugar level is lower).

Not only do I ask my clients about their food choices and eating patterns, I describe how and why what they ingest (and imbibe) can affect their behavior. In addition, I explain how eating nutritious meals that contain protein prevents the sudden drop in blood-sugar level that can contribute to those physical and psychological symptoms of anxiety. If and when necessary, I will also refer a client for a further medical and/or psychological evaluation if the individual describes eating behaviors (e.g., bingeing/purging, starvation) or beliefs about food or nutrition that are out of scope of my professional expertise.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

 

Progress at Your Own Speed

 

 

Opportunities and events rarely just drop into our laps. An immediate, successful outcome is not guaranteed. Usually we must put in a lot of work and have a lot of motivation to reach a goal or milestone. Days, weeks, months and even years can pass without making any obvious progress toward our goal. During that time it is easy to become frustrated and even disillusioned about when/whether/if we will ever get our “break.” Sometimes life even steps in and replaces the original goal and desired outcome with something better than you could have ever dreamed of.

Recently, my dad commented (again) how excellent it was that actor Benedict Cumberbatch has enjoyed such great success in the film industry. However, he has certainly been paying his dues as an actor for many years—mostly on stage in Britain and some roles in television movies and series in Britain and in America. Receiving an Oscar nod for his portrayal of Alan Turing in The Imitation Game, well, that’s quite an endorsement for the Sherlock star’s acting chops, is it not? Of course, Mr. Cumberbatch’s story is not one of overnight success, at all. Do you remember his very minor role as a cavalry officer in Steven Spielberg’s (2011) film, War Horse? As he landed roles in bigger projects, it just seemed like he suddenly popped out of the woodwork. He had the lead role in the film about Julian Assange and a role in August: Osage County, a major film starring Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts. He even voiced the dragon in a recent Lord of the Rings movie.

Meanwhile, actress Julianne Moore has been acting in and headlining films for approximately twenty-five years. She has received five Academy Award nominations, including her current nod for Still Alice. It seems likely that she will finally win a long-overdue Oscar this year, so say Hollywood pundits, but who knows? Meanwhile, Ms. Moore carries on promoting the movie and working and perfecting her craft.

And, what about the unexpected play that New England Patriot cornerback Malcolm Butler made during the Super Bowl XLIX? Just when it looked like Seattle Seahawk’s wide receiver, Ricardo Lockette, was about to catch the touchdown-winning pass in the end zone in the last few minutes of the game, Butler jumped up and grabbed the ball instead. Suddenly, the comfortable 10-point—and then manageable three-point—lead that the Seahawks had been enjoying through most of the second half of the game was reduced to a four-point deficit from which Seattle would not be able to overcome. Throughout the game, both teams had played hard and made strategic mistakes that could have changed the outcome, but there was no denying that the Patriots constantly continued working and fighting for those winning points. Their unbeatable lead may not have happened as early in the game as New England would have liked, but their never-surrender attitude and determination to win ultimately paid off in the end.

One of the biggest challenges many of us face is being patient with ourselves as we strive to accomplish something. As you pursue that promotion at work are you compromising your health by getting little or no sleep and poor nutrition? The physical consequences of these behaviors could affect your perception, mood and ability to focus or problem-solve, which could inadvertently jeopardize your chances of being promoted. Are you so focused on completing a project that you neglect relationships with or responsibility to family or friends? Are you so focused on attracting that perfect partner that you pay no attention to your professional goals and other social bonds? Where and how will your goal, once it is accomplished, fit and balance with other important areas of your life?

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015