(Don't Start) Thinking About Tomorrow

(This blog was originally posted on August 22, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

     One of the most important things we can do for our mental and emotional well-being is to allow ourselves to relax. I know, I know: that is easier said than done, especially on a Sunday night, because, well, tomorrow is Monday. Indeed, sometimes it feels like all of Sunday isn’t even part of the weekend, let alone a day of rest, because it has morphed into a day of preparation for Monday. It’s when we rush to put the finishing touches on homework assignments or projects for work and start psyching ourselves up for the grind of the week ahead. Furthermore, the more we think about the deadlines that are coming up, the social events or school activities that we “must” attend next week or the rush-hour traffic we will have to negotiate early tomorrow morning, the more anxious we become. It’s enough to ruin the weekend, but only if we let it. Here are some suggestions to help you relax and enjoy the day:

• Before you leave work, etc. on Friday, make a contract with yourself to not bring/do work at home; or, if you know that you must work on a project, that you will reserve some time between Friday evening and Sunday evening to relax and unwind.

• Use imagery to visualize, picture or pretend that you are able to relax and enjoy the rest and relaxation that you deserve this weekend.

• During this “Me Time,” just do what you want whether that is sleeping in, participating in a sport or hobby or even doing nothing at all.

• Turn your activities into opportunities for moving meditation. In other words, focus only on what you are doing at that moment. If/when you notice that you are actively thinking and worrying about work or school, draw a couple of deep breaths and center your attention back on you and what you are doing right now. Whether you are cuddling your spouse, playing fetch with your dog or watching a movie with your kids, you will be able to enjoy whatever you are doing right now if that activity is occupying your full attention.

• Use or recite affirmations that support your decision to relax and to think only about the present (i.e., what you are doing right now.)

• Before you go to bed, make a mental or literal check-list to confirm that you are prepared to deal with tomorrow’s challenges. For example, is your mobile phone charged or charging? Are your completed home-work assignments in your backpack? Is the project you completed for work in your brief-case? Once you have verified that everything is okay, you can sleep quickly, soundly and deeply and know that you are in the perfect place to enjoy a successful, productive week.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

Empty Your Mind

Photo courtesy of Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht.

 

                When I was an editor at Black Belt® magazine (www.blackbeltmag.com), I often came across the following quote in which martial artists were urged to practice mushin no shin or “mind of no mind” during combat or competition. Basically, this term philosophy urges you to empty your mind and turn off your emotions so you can think and perceive what’s going on around you. I had an opportunity to practice this philosophy while I hung out with Galahad this afternoon.

                The time I spent with my horse was not in combat but in a kind of moving meditation as I groomed him. Once I had him secured in the cross-ties, I turned all of my attention to making him feel relaxed while I gently curried away shedding hairs and dirt. He did a lot of sighing and fluttered his nostrils a few times, so I am pretty sure he was beyond comfortable and probably a little blissed out during his mega-grooming session. (My trainer has commented several times that my horse is a bit hedonistic.)

Unlike complete Galahad, relaxation has never been easy for me; it is a rare day that I am not doing two or three things at one time. Even spending quiet time at the barn is not an inherently relaxing activity. For example, I always need to know where my feet and hands are to avoid being accidentally stepped on or nibbled when I give Galahad a treat. I have to be careful not to let my horse walk directly behind me when I lead him or he could run right over me if something spooked him and he bolted forward. When I ride, I must use various parts of my body to ensure that I communicate exactly what I want my horse to do and he understands what I am asking for. In addition, my entire body must be soft and relaxed while I remain aware of my surroundings and alert to anything that could spook my horse, including changes in my body that indicate I’m not focused on what I’m doing.

Of course, the reason why I sometimes have so much trouble quieting my mind and directing my focus is, multi-tasking is my go-to behavior. It is my known. Even though I was physically relaxed while I groomed my horse—the repetitive motions of currying and brushing are actually hypnotizing, pun intended—my mind was anything but. Random thoughts kept popping into my head: What should I blog about today? Has so-and-so received my e-mail? I have to get ready for that meeting tomorrow, etc. Whenever my thoughts drifted away from what I was doing with Galahad, he would politely by pointedly change his posture as if to remind me to pay attention to what I was doing. After all, this was his time to be with me and get fussed over.

Spending time with my horse is my favorite time of day and my absolute favorite thing to do, but I sometimes have trouble completely turning off the rest of the world even when I’m with him. Today was one of those days. I know I shouldn’t have to work so hard at relaxing but, let’s face it: sometimes tuning out is really hard work. My conscious mind knows that it should not be more stressful to relax and take time to decompress from the day than it is for me to multi-task various responsibilities I must fulfill and projects to complete during the day. My subconscious mind knows otherwise: Multi-tasking is my default, go-to behavior. It is a subconscious known, an established behavior, a mental script. Furthermore, according to John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, I reinforce that behavior every day, when I am working (e.g., preparing for a session, working and following up with clients after their appointment and taking continuing education courses). Then I go out to the barn and ride/hang out with my horse, where I typically do several things at the barn just to stay safe. (As much as I love and trust Galahad, I know that I am physically no match against his 900-pound might if I ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time.)

Well, I have been working very diligently to rewrite that old mental script that says I have to multi-task every minute of my day. I’m pleased to say that after a few false starts this afternoon I was finally able to get into a groove with Galahad when I was able to tune out that extra chatter in my head for longer and longer periods of time. When I caught myself thinking about something that didn’t have to do with him, I simply re-directed my attention back on Galahad where it belonged. By the end of our afternoon together, the image and sound of him contentedly nibbling on grass and the earthy smells around me were the only thoughts on my mind.

Mind of no mind.

               

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Grooming is Greeeaaattt!

Photo by Rick Hustead

Geeves enjoyed getting rinsed off after being ridden
on a hot day.

 

   According to an old horseman's adage, "If you don't have time to groom, you don't have time to ride."  I am ashamed to admit that there was once a time when the last thing I wanted to do was spend time brushing a horse when (I thought) I could be riding. But, that was then, and I have since learned (and corrected) the error of my ways. These days, grooming is one of my favorite things to do with (and for) a horse. Here's why:

• Mutual grooming is a way for horses to establish, maintain, and strengthen relationships with their herd mates. By the same token, every time you handle a horse you are part of his herd. The time you spend brushing and currying your horse is an opportunity for you to reinforce your status as a fair leader that he would choose to follow.
• 
  If you observe a group of horses in a pasture, you will see that the animals tend to pair up with same, specific individuals; they are "buddies." As they nibble each other's withers to scratch an itch and use their tail to swat flies away their friend's face, they reinforce their bond. The time you spend brushing and currying your horse (and cleaning his hooves) is an opportunity for you to bond with him in a similar way as a pasture mate.
• I liken grooming my horse to a sort of moving meditation that helps to quiet my mind and relax the muscles in my body the same way it helps to relax my horse. Geeves's eyes often became heavy and started to close during our grooming sessions; and when I come home, I was also ready for a nap because I was so relaxed just from brushing him.
• 
  Horses like to be groomed. Think of how good it feels to have someone else rub a sore spot or scratch an itch that you can't reach. I would liken this to getting a back rub or a massage after a vigorous run or working out at the gym. It's the same for your horse; and grooming is equally important after he is ridden or exercised on a lunge line. 
• Grooming helps to stimulate the horse's cardiovascular circulation and improve the condition of his coat.
• The time you spend grooming is a good opportunity to check your horse for injuries or physical abnormalities that may require veterinary attention. The earlier you detect a potential problem, the sooner you can get your horse treatment and on the way to recovery.
• The more time you spend brushing and currying your horse, the better you will know his moods and behaviors. Horses can get in bad moods, too. For example, the corners of my horse's mouth literally curled down in what looked like a frown if Geeves was annoyed about something. Having said that, he also flashed a toothy "smile" at me a few times!

   Grooming provides an opportunity for you to enjoy a whole other level of communication and deepening the partnership bond you share with your horse. I, for one, wouldn't miss that for the world.



 

     Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.