Stages of Development and Hypnotherapy

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on February 9, 2016)

 

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

According to psychologist Erik Erikson, personality develops throughout a person’s lifetime. In other words, you “become” the person you are, starting from birth until you die. Each stage is characterized or punctuated by a specific goal that you must achieve to progress to the next stage of development. If you do not overcome that challenge, however, you will continue to be affected by the unresolved issue that is associated with the stage of development in which you are stuck.

Dr. John Kappas incorporated Erikson’s Stages of Development into his therapeutic approach. The Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder believed that hypnotherapists must always try to alleviate a client’s presenting issue “symptomatically.” However, if that approach doesn’t work it may be necessary to uncover the cause of the person’s presenting problem.

“Many conditions may be ‘relieved’ later in life if they’re not completed,” Dr. Kappas said. “We always attempt to fulfill what’s missing.” If a client is stuck in one of these stages, the hypnotherapist must explain the stages of development and discuss where/why the conflict arose. It may also be necessary to explore why the stage of development hasn’t been completed, he explained.

However, Dr. Kappas warned that age-regression therapy should not be used to identify the cause of a client’s presenting problem that developed during one of those stages. This technique could inadvertently expose a host of other issues that the person had previously repressed or dealt with, which the hypnotherapist would have to help the individual address all over again. Furthermore, HMI does not endorse age-regression as a form of therapy and legal courts do not admit any evidence obtained using this method.

 The goal of the therapy is to help the client resolve this conflict and set appropriate goals that are appropriate to facilitate progression to the stage of development that is appropriate for the client’s age, he said. Following is a summary of Erikson’s Eight Stages of Development:

Stage 1: Infancy (oral-sensory, birth-1 year). Conflict: trust vs. mistrust. Important event: feeding.

Stage 2: Early Childhood (muscular-anal, 1-3 years). Conflict: autonomy vs. doubt. Important events: Toilet training, suggestibility.

Stage 3: Play Age (locomotor, 3-6 years). Conflict: initiative vs. guilt. Important event: Independence.

Stage 4: School Age (6-12 years). Conflict: industry vs. inferiority (competence). Important event: School.

Stage 5: Puberty and Adolescence (12-18 years). Conflict: identity vs. role confusion. Important event: Peer relationship.

Stage 6: Young Adulthood (19-40 years). Conflict: intimacy/affiliation and love vs. isolation. Important event: Love relationships.

Stage 7: Middle Age (40-65 years). Conflict: generativity vs. stagnation/self-absorption. Important event: parenting.

Stage 8: Later life (Maturity, 65 years to death). Conflict: integrity vs. despair. Reflection on and acceptance of one’s life.

 

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Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

All About Emotional & Physical Sexuality, Part 1

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on February 2, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

 

The concept of Emotional and Physical Sexuality formed the cornerstone of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s  therapeutic philosophies and approach. He believed that these personality traits were more important and influential than a person’s suggestibility, because sexual personality was all about the individual’s motivations and behavior in an intimate relationship.

Whereas suggestibility (how we learn) is learned/acquired from the primary caretaker (usually, mom), the secondary caretaker (typically dad or another father figure) typically models sexual personality traits. Like suggestibility, a person’s Sexual Personality (“E & P”) is described as varying degrees of “Emotional” and “Physical” characteristics. However, emotional and physical Sexual Personality characteristics are not interchangeable with emotional and physical Suggestibility. In his research, Dr. Kappas observed that an individual’s Sexual Personality starts to develop during childhood, typically when the youngster is between eight and fourteen years old. He hypothesized that, at a very subconscious level, modeling the sexual personality traits of the father figure is a way for the child to get (metaphorically) closer to Mother.

Unlike suggestibility, which can change somewhat and be affected by different events in an individual’s life, Sexual Personality does not alter that much during a person’s lifetime. Furthermore, these characteristics facilitate understanding and the ability to predict and shape a person’s behavior. I and my colleagues who also went through the hypnotherapy certification program at HMI appreciate the value and utility of this model when we work with our own clients to achieve their vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

Following are highlights of Dr. Kappas’s model of E&P Sexual Personality

• Emotional and Physical Sexuality is NOT a male/female thing. The male can be emotional and the female can be Physical, and vice versa.
• Opposites attract: An Emotional (e.g., social wall-flower) is drawn to the Physical (e.g., social butterfly), and vice versa because we are naturally attracted to our equal opposites. There is more intensity, more vulnerability with your opposite.
• There is a subconscious goal to increase/raise the subdominant personality. For example: The goal of the Physical partner is to raise the Emotional partner’s subdominant trait (physicality).
• Different partners trigger different behaviors, depending on your E/P score
• The E&P score will also differ depending on the phase of the relationship (Honeymoon vs. Crisis)
• 50/50 scores on the Sexuality test indicate: “We don’t know what you are.” You will have a different score for different relationships, different phases of the relationship. But you will always have a basic personality.
• You can out-Phys/out-Emo a “same” partner. “Opposite” partners/relationships are more intense, but there is 10 times more vulnerability when you are with your subconscious opposite.

 

4 CORE TRAITS of the Emotional/Physical Sexual Personality

 

(You must have positive confirmation of 3 core traits before deciding/identifying the sexual personality.)

 

1. Parental background (when the pattern breaks, you need to find out why. Parents may be going through a different phase of their relationship.)
2. Response to rejection (When rejected, the Physical Sexual clings to the partner vs. an Emotional Sexual, who “freezes out” the partner)
3. Relationship with the physical body (comfortable vs. uncomfortable with physical contact) A Physical Sexual is connected/immediacy to the emotion, needs physical contact. There is a physical sensation with emotional reaction, somatization in the body. The Emotional Sexual has a disconnect of physical sensation to emotion. Sometimes the Emotional doesn’t know how he/she feels. Emotional protects the body, has a territory/boundary because the Emotional doesn’t know how they feel about their body or feelings.
4. Patterns of personal relationships (History of E/P partners. For example, if you are constantly attracted to a Physical Sexual, you are probably an Emotional Sexual, and vice versa.)

 

I will describe the priorities and behavioral motivations of the Emotional and Sexual Personalities in my next blog.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit my website. 

© 2022

 

Handwriting Analysis: Doodles

(This blog was originally posted on January 6, 2015)

Image by The Broken Minor courtesy of Microsoft

I have explained the role of handwriting analysis in my hypnotherapy practice and identified some specific traits I look at in a person’s handwriting in three of my previous blogs (Handwriting Analysis for Hypnotherapy; And Your Handwriting Says; And Your Handwriting Says, Part 2). Like handwriting, the doodles we draw in the margins of a page or around letters or words also provides insight into our subconscious mind. For example, they can reveal if the writer isn’t being truthful to him- or herself. They can also indicate if the person is stuck in an emotion or struggling with a problem. Following are some common doodles and what they suggest about the writer’s personality.

• Happy face: The person is literally a happy person.

• Doodle is at a right slant: the person needs to express his or her emotions.

• Bunches of flowers: Symbolizes desire for growth; the person has a feminine side.

• Geometric shapes (boxes, rectangles): The person is able to see all sides of an issue.

• Triangles: This person can also see all sides of an issue; tends to be rational and wants things to come to a head.

• Symmetric shapes: indicates that the person tends to be law-abiding, conformist.

• Angular shapes: indicates that the person is less open to others.

• Ladders: motivation, drive.

• Arrow through a heart: Drive/ambition for love.

• Tic-tac-toe squares or hash lines: The person feels restricted by other people in his or her life.

Doodles are universal: in other words, no matter what language you speak/write, it is common and natural to see these scribbles or drawings somewhere on the page. Sometimes I specifically ask clients to “draw” how they feel or what they think about something if they cannot express their thoughts or emotions in written words. I might then ask the person to describe how he or she feels about the squiggles or objects just drawn.

For more information about handwriting analysis or to request a full analysis of your writing, please contact me at (661) 433-9430 or contact me via e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

The Family that Plays Together

(This blog was originally posted on May 19, 2014)

     The Brady Bunch. The Partridge Family. Eight Is Enough. The Ingalls family of Little House on the Prairie and the Walton family of The Waltons. The Corleones of The Godfather. The Ewings of Dallas and the Cartwrights of Bonanza. These are just a few iconic examples of television families that I grew up with. More recently, there are the five ruling clans in George R.R. Martin’s Game of Thrones series, and the extended Grantham family of Downton Abbey. While no one in my family was (or is) really like any of the characters in these fictional families, we all share the respect, loyalty, love and rivalry that characterize a familial bond. These fictitious families taught each other important lessons about how to enjoy the benefits of and negotiate the specific challenges that existed in their world. They learned how it feels to “belong” in a group and to feel protected by people who would sacrifice everything and anything to keep them safe.

      This is not to say that families or specific members in a family are always easy to deal with or that the conflicts which can flare up between them are always simple or comfortable to resolve. Some family feuds go on so long that the members who were involved in the original quarrel have died or simply don’t know or remember why they are fighting, only that they are fighting. However, have you ever noticed what happens if someone outside of the family unit threatens the family or one of its members? The family closes ranks and creates a virtual wagon circle around the individual who is under attack: “It’s one thing for me to say or do something to hurt someone in my family, but don’t you even try it!”

      A sweet dessert and a glass of milk are a common panacea for most causes of hurt and disappointment that occurs in television families. However, patience, compassion/empathy and willingness to compromise are keys to achieving true conflict resolution in real-life families. It can be (and often is) hard work to try to understand why someone you love and who is supposed to love you could have done or said that incredibly hurtful thing. It is even more challenging, but equally necessary, to also take a hard look at how you may have contributed to the fight by something you said or did, whether these actions were intentional or not. It is challenging to offer an apology and admit when you are wrong, but it can also be challenging to graciously accept an apology from someone who hurt you and then work together to move past that painful event.

      Whatever your “family” looks like, this relationship—or lack thereof—is one of the most important ones that you will probably experience during your lifetime. Even if you do not share genetic material (the “nature” component) with anyone in it, you will have scores of memories of shared experiences with the person(s) who raised you (the “nurture” component). Whoever was your primary caretaker helped to establish your suggestibility (how you learn); you would have likely modeled your personality after the person who was a secondary caretaker for you growing up. You can (and probably have) compared notes about your upbringing with your siblings to make sure that everyone got the same treatment. You might be surprised at the similarities between how your parents raised their children, how your aunts and uncles raised your cousins, and even how your grandparents raised your parents. Even if longtime friends and even a spouse or lover drift out of your life, the bonds you share with one or both parents, a sibling (or several) and more distant relatives tend to be more permanent. Like it or not, family is (usually) here to stay.

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015