What Do You Believe?

(This blog was originally posted on August 26, 2014)

    I love this quote from actress Cameron Diaz: “I know I am capable of anything because I’ve never been told otherwise.” Wow. What a powerful statement. I can almost hear and feel the confidence in her voice. Unfortunately, many people do not possess the same amount of confidence in their own abilities. Why? For the same reason that Ms. Diaz and other people have high self-esteem or high self-confidence: they learned what to believe about their abilities. 

    John Kappas, Ph.D., a psychologist and founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, best explained this phenomenon in his Theory of Mind. Your subconscious mind learns and adopts behaviors and ways of thinking from a very young age. By the time you are about 5 years old the blueprint of your future beliefs and behaviors is estab­lished, based on the beliefs and behaviors you learned during those early years of your life. When you were a very small child, a caretaker believed and encouraged you to believe that anything is possible—or not. You learned by association and repetition of that activity to like and feel comfortable doing it; and every time that person or others encouraged you to participate in the activity/activities you enjoyed, your confidence and self-esteem continued to grow. Conversely, if you received negative messages (e.g., criticism and disapproval) and/or were discouraged from doing “x” your self-confidence and/or self-esteem are unlikely to be so high. For example, there is a fabulous scene in the 1981 film, Paternity, in which Burt Reynolds’ character points to a little boy riding his bicycle on a brick wall. He tells Beverly D’Angelo that the child has never fallen off that wall, but that the day he does fall it will be “the day he finds out about gravity.”

     According to Dr. Kappas, everyone carries the association and enjoyment (or not) of our specific “known” behaviors and beliefs throughout our life or until we are motivated to change this belief or behavior. Whether someone encouraged or discouraged you from doing something or believing in yourself, these patterns formed knowns in your subconscious mind and eventually became part of your subconscious life script. From then on, every time you encountered an unfamiliar situation, this script influenced whether you would attempt a challenge with confidence or bow out because you didn’t believe you could really accomplish the task at hand. Not only does your SCM store the association between those beliefs and behaviors, it also reinforces them every time you engage in that behavior or bow out of an activity. No matter how much your conscious mind dislikes or rails against the self-doubt you carry around with you, so long as your SCM is comfortable and familiar (pleasure) with this known that is what you will continue to believe.

    Your subconscious mind may know what you really want, but it is your conscious mind that possesses the will-power, decision-making, reasoning and logic to literally change your mind. I use hypnosis and therapeutic guided-imagery techniques to help my hypnotherapy clients change those unwanted or negative beliefs or behaviors that have prevented them from achieving their true potential. Hypnotherapy works because you want to make those changes, and it helps you to see and realize that anything really can be possible because you no longer tell yourself otherwise.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

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