Just Go With It



Photo by Sara Fogan

Charlotte Dujardin rode a clinic participant's horse during the seminar.

 

 

                As we get older, it becomes easier to appreciate an experience and to reap the benefit of doing something we don’t really want to do, than when we are children. Even though adults have most of the same subconscious motivations, desires and “knowns” that we had when they were little kids, we also have the benefit of experience. We know that we will learn something from this experience if we just open up our minds and are willing to take in this new information. We know that nothing really does last forever—whether it is a six-hour riding demonstration or that time we get to spend just hanging out with a beloved parent or child. So we just go with it and try something new.

          As adults, we can appreciate that the logic, reasoning, will-power and decision-making faculties we possess in our conscious mind were actually the catalysts for organizing this family time in the first place. I love horses; I train in dressage. My dad says he is afraid of horses, and he doesn’t really know anything about the discipline I ride. But the opportunity to spend “family time” together was the subconscious “known” in our minds that clinched the deal.

                Earlier this year, my dad accompanied me to the second day of Charlotte Dujardin’s dressage symposium at the Los Angeles Equestrian Center. This was a big deal for me: I have been a big fan of Ms. Dujardin since I “discovered” her during the 2012 Summer Olympics; the opportunity to watch her teach and ride (in person, not on TV) was an opportunity of a lifetime. More important, I got to spend the day with my father, which hardly ever happens because of our very different schedules and my predilection to spend most of my free time around horses. But, my dad was a good sport. He didn’t tell me that he was bored even one time; I even caught him leaning forward in his seat once or twice to get a better look at what was going on in the arena. He just went with the flow of the afternoon: demonstrations, lunch, more demonstrations and then a question-and-answer session with Ms. Dujardin and her former trainer, Judy Harvey. He even made some very good, informed observations about what he was watching. He wanted to know if my horse could do some of the things he saw being done in the arena; and he seemed proud when I told him that Galahad is working on a lot of those movements (albeit at a much lower level).

At the end of the afternoon, he told me he had enjoyed himself. He said liked spending time with me and that he had a very good day.

So did I.

                               

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Defense Mechanisms: Undoing and Magical Thinking

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

                My great-grandmother used to spit three times or throw salt over her shoulder if anyone said something that could be perceived as wishing bad fortune on another person or situation. Some people say “knock wood” or literally rap their knuckles on a wood surface to prevent an unwanted event. Others wash their hands or mime this behavior as if to cleanse themselves of an event or relationship they don’t want to be associated with. Many kids still make the “cross my heart” pledge to keep a secret or what have you. (In keeping with my grandma’s fear of tempting fate, I always left off the “and hope to die” part.) Each of these behaviors is an example of a defense mechanism, undoing, whereby a person performs some kind of ritual or gesture to negate the likelihood or power of a potential consequence of a behavior or belief.

Similar to undoing, magical thinking is another form of defense mechanism that entails creating associations—usually imagined and typically based in superstition—between an event and a behavior. There is a great scene in the 1990 film, Betsy’s Wedding, in which Betsy’s dad (Alan Alda) is shooting basketball hoops as he repeats the mantra, “If I make this basket, it will be a great day.” When he doesn’t make the basket, he keeps throwing that basketball at the net until (finally) the ball goes in and he feels relieved that he might have a good day. Other examples of magical thinking include the old adages about breaking your mother’s back if you step on a crack in the pavement or being cursed with bad luck if you walk under a ladder—seven years of it if you break a mirror. Neither undoing nor magical thinking truly has the ability to shield or protect a person from whatever consequence he or she believes could occur if the behavior is not performed. However, every time the possible consequence is avoided by performing the action reinforces the person’s belief in its effectiveness, which further encourages the person to keep repeating that behavior until he or she achieves the desired result.

These and other defense mechanisms are strategies that enable a person to cope with a stressful situation in his or her life. Like other defense mechanisms, undoing and magical thinking are characterized by the following traits: 1) they are unconscious; 2) they are self-deceptive; 3) they contain elements of denial; 4) they distort reality through thoughts and action. Whenever we seem to successfully “avoid” suffering a possible consequence by performing that action, this success reinforces our belief (subconscious mental script) in the effectiveness of that ritual. This success also encourages us to repeat that behavior to avoid negative outcomes in other areas of our life.

Defense mechanisms are fabulous temporary devices that can help us achieve such security. Undoing rituals such as throwing salt over the shoulder, knocking on wood and crossing the heart are great examples of learned (and therefore known) behaviors. According to John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, everyone is subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. Since the subconscious mind is motivated and even programmed to seek this comfort, we may adopt those defense-mechanism behaviors because we learned them from someone we trust who does or used to do the same thing. However, the primary role of a defense mechanism is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain” of having to deal with an unknown. These behaviors really only provide a temporary perception of control over the environment. Eventually, we must deal with and resolve the primary issue that has triggered the defense mechanism to achieve personal growth.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Medical Crisis Overload

 

I spend a lot of time observing human behavior in the context of how my hypnotherapy clients behave and interact with others and deal with crises that occur in their environment. Recently, concern about contracting a devastating illness such as Ebola or Human Enterovirus-68 has been distracting and distressing a lot of people. It is interesting to me that while the likelihood of contracting Human Enterovirus-68 is a more immediate “threat” for citizens in the United States, there is greater concern about Ebola.

Indeed, the recent news that a Liberian man who was visiting his fiancée in Texas had to be admitted into a Texas hospital with this diagnosis has overwhelmed and terrified a lot of people. It was one thing when several American aid workers contracted the disease overseas and were brought home for treatment. But the idea that someone could and actually did bring a deadly and contagious disease into the United States, well, that dose of reality has been hard to process. Meanwhile, as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention outline strategies to contain the disease and manage/treat it, questions and anxiety-levels remain high. So, too, is the potential for heightened suggestibility that could induce a trance-like state and possibly hinder our ability to identify and respond to an actual (versus a perceived) health threat.

According to John Kappas, Ph.D., hypnosis occurs when message units overwhelm and disorganize our critical mind, which trigger the fight-flight response and triggers a hyper-suggestible state that provides access to the subconscious mind. For example, constant bombardment of information about the lethal nature and symptoms of this disease, plus statistics about how it can (and cannot) be transmitted, increases our anxiety and intensifies our suggestible state. The fact that contraction of Ebola is “unknown” in America and few people here have a subconscious mental script for dealing with it makes the disease seem all the more frightening. Meanwhile, Enterovirus-68 can and has been lethal in several cases but people seem better able to deal with and even accept those symptoms. Perhaps people’s comparative acceptance of that virus stems from the fact that it manifests like a common chest infection—a subconscious known which most people survive—and isn’t accompanied by excessive bleeding, the disturbing symptom for which Ebola is known.

According to the CDC, you must have direct contact with bodily fluids of someone who has the disease to get sick. If you believe that you have had such contact and are experiencing symptoms of the disease, seek medical help immediately to verify and treat the illness or rule it out as a diagnosis. If you continue to feel overwhelmed with anxiety about your likelihood of contracting it, follow CDC recommendations and advice about how to protect yourself from Ebola. I also recommend that you “count yourself out” of the hyper-suggestible state of anxiety whenever you notice that you are or have become preoccupied about becoming ill. To do this, say to yourself: “One, two, three, four, five, eyes open [say your name], wide awake and no longer in a suggestible state.”

As a certified hypnotherapist, it is out of my scope of expertise to diagnose an illness or to recognize/identify specific symptoms that have a psychological or physiological basis. Therefore, I do and will refer clients to an appropriate licensed medical or psychology professional to determine the cause and/or treat that specific physical symptom that. However, once this other expert has ruled out a medical etiology of your symptom, with a follow-up referral from that licensed professional, I can continue to work with you in hypnotherapy, which can provide complementary therapeutic benefits and help to alleviate and/or control these symptoms and help you to pursue and achieve your vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Introducing...Hypnosis!

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

 

                From time to time, I am invited to do a presentation about hypnosis and my work as a hypnotherapist. Over the years, this has become one of my favorite outreach activities because I have an opportunity to introduce and dispel common misconceptions about a therapeutic modality that can literally transform your life.

                I cater each presentation to appeal to my expected audience. For example, if I am doing a presentation for high-school or college students, I will explain how hypnotherapy can help them increase self-confidence, prepare for exams and improve study skills. If I am addressing business executives, I describe similar benefits that include increasing self-confidence to improve decision-making skills, preparation for presentations and improving communication with colleagues.

In general, however, these presentations follow a similar format to how I handle a first hypnotherapy session with a new client. Since I include hypnosis and guided-imagery demonstrations in my presentations, if my audience will include anyone under 18 I always send a parental release form to be distributed and signed by the kids’ legal guardians a few days beforehand. Adults in the audience must sign a disclosure of services (release) document to participate in these exercises.

To start the presentation, I define what hypnosis is and explain how we naturally enter this state at least twice every day (i.e., half an hour before drifting into sleep and half an hour after waking up in the morning.) In addition, I provide examples of various uses of hypnosis, such as stage presentations, anesthesia for surgery, pain management, habit control, etc.

Next, I explain John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind and the concept of suggestibility to prepare (and reassure) my audience for the hypnosis exercises we will do later in the demonstration. I want everyone to appreciate the power of their subconscious mind and conscious mind to facilitate or hinder desired behavior changes. More important, I want my audience to understand the mechanism by which hypnosis can help them to overwrite old mental scripts to help them change their behavior or beliefs and achieve their stated vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

Similar to how I conduct an actual hypnotherapy session with a client, I do the hypnosis demonstration at the end of my presentation. This exercise includes an induction to the hypnotic state followed by a relaxation/imagery journey so the participants can experience hypnosis. To conclude the presentation I count them back up to alert and aware state and answer questions about my work as a hypnotherapist.

If you are interested in a similar presentation for you and your colleagues, please contact me at (661) 433-9430 or send e-mail to calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com.

 

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

 



Stop Negative Self-Talk

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

                From time to time, in a moment of frustration or anger or even fear, we say something negative and hurtful to someone very close to us. The incident that sparked the outburst may turn out to be inconsequential, but in that instant there is nothing more important or urgent than giving that other person a piece of our mind for causing so much trouble in the first place. We can always apologize and make amends to the other person once tempers have cooled down and the issue is resolved. But, what if the person you are so mad at is you? Do you apologize for the hurtful things you have said or thought about you, to yourself?

                According to John Kappas, Ph.D., the subconscious mind works on expectation and imagination. Over time, we learn to expect others to respond to and interact with us in a particular way based on our previous experience with those individuals. We also learn to internalize the message or emotion we perceive in those interactions, which can affect self-confidence and self-esteem. No matter what the “message” is, as you hear and repeat it to yourself your subconscious mind starts to internalize and believe that message. If people in your social circle constantly bombard you with criticism and negativity, perhaps it is time to change who you hang out with. If you are the one trash-talking yourself, it is time to rewrite your mental script to be ­­­more loving and accepting of yourself.

                During hypnosis, I teach my clients simple breathing and relaxation techniques by which to dial down or even turn off the negative self-talk. I also desensitize my clients to the stimuli that typically trigger their self-criticism and self-reproach. Finally, I use therapeutic guided-imagery techniques to enable my clients to find solutions for those situations and then visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that they have successfully resolved a conflict with self-confidence and self-love.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

The Symbology of Dreams

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

  

                Dreams always show or reveal what is going on in your life. The circumstances in your dream may be literal, inferred or symbolic. They are also very specific to you and are not transferable to anyone else.

                For example, a dream about flying may represent venting the feeling of escaping to more pleasant surroundings. Or, if your emotions are negative (e.g., sad, angry or fearful) when you wake up from an escape dream, it may represent a fear of loss of control, an out-of-body experience or fear of possession. Frustration about direction may also reflect your inability to make a decision.

                As a general rule, the content of what you have worked through in therapy or experienced during the course of the day will be vented out in an early-morning dream. Some dreams are so vivid that you may (temporarily) believe that the dream is true. However, be careful not to take the content of your dream literally. Rather, it is the message that is revealed to you through the symbols of your dream that is important. The timing of your dream is also very important because it tells you where the dream started or what jogged your memory of an event or situation. Timing of the dream also indicates how far back you must go to interpret its content or meaning.

                Finally, the way you feel when the dream is over reveals where you are in terms of dealing with an issue. “You can have a fairly traumatic dream and feel pretty good when you awaken or have a fairly traumatic dream and feel pretty bad,” said Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder Dr. John Kappas. “The kind of feelings a person has determines if [you’re] trying to let it go or take it back.”

                Your mind will hold onto the dream (i.e., the dream will recur) until it is interpreted, often adding circumstances or elements to facilitate the venting process. Once the dream is expressed, “it starts to decompose” and will not return, Dr. Kappas explained. If an issue is not vented out in a dream, it can be brought up during a hypnotherapy session.

                “Dreams can be very revealing and is an important part of therapy,” the hypnotherapist said.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

Components of Success

 

(This blog was originally posted on March 24, 2014)

 

Photo courtesy of Fotolia

 

                A few months ago, my dad commented how much he admired actor Benedict Cumberbatch’s success in the film industry. He thought the Sherlock star had suddenly hit the big-time since he went from starring in a British television series about Sherlock Holmes to a lead role in the film about Julian Assange; had a role in August: Osage County, a major film starring Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts; and even voiced the dragon in a recent Lord of the Rings movie. Earlier this month, he was also shown goofing around with the A-list celebrities at the 2013 Academy Awards. Of course, this was not an example of Mr. Cumberbatch being an overnight success, at all. He had certainly been paying his dues as an actor for many years—mostly on stage in Britain and some roles in television movies and series in Britain and in America. Do you remember his very minor role as a cavalry officer in Steven Spielberg’s (2011) film, War Horse? Now that he has landed roles in bigger projects, more people are starting to notice him.

                One of my favorite examples of what it takes to be successful is from an interview that Clinton Anderson, a very popular horseman, horse trainer and founder of Downunder Horsemanship, did many years ago. The trainer explained that it took years for him to build his company and reputation as a horseman when he immigrated to the United States from Australia. Apparently, he spent just about every cent he had traveling around the country to do riding and horsemanship clinics, and he usually only had one woman in his classes. Mr. Anderson said he was willing to continue traveling, teaching and “treating [his students] like queens” that way as often as he could and as long as he had the money to do so because, hopefully, the next year that student would come back and bring a friend or two. They did, and the rest is history, but his career did not take off into the stratosphere for about 20 years of very hard work.

                My point is this: Success doesn’t just happen; it is the product of a lot of time, effort, hard work and the intention and desire to succeed. This topic has been on my mind for a few weeks, and I did address it in my March 23, 2014 blog titled “Are You Ready?” I did not intend to write a sequel to that essay. However, I figured I must have had more to say about it since this topic was not only addressed on a radio talk show this afternoon but I also came upon a related quote from Vidal Sassoon in a Twitter feed: “The only place where success comes before work is a dictionary.”

                In John Kappas, Ph.D.’s book, Success Is Not an Accident, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder explains how a person’s mental script and subconscious messages influence how and where the individual will direct energy and effort to realize a goal. Everyone has the power to achieve a goal, Dr. Kappas says, if the “correct” mental script for that success—like a road map or a recipe—is available and in place for the person to follow.

                The thing is we often have to live life and accumulate a lot of different experiences, good and bad, to know what we really want or don’t want to do or have in our lives. Some people are very lucky in that they know very early on where they want to be in 10, 20 or 30 years, and they just work hard and steadily to achieve that goal. Other people experiment for a while: they switch majors in college, change jobs over and over and even switch careers in the search for a seemingly unattainable success.

                In a way, I followed both of those paths: By age 11, I had decided that I wanted to be a therapist. I majored in psychology at college and then did a research Master’s degree in psychology, in England. When I returned to the United States, I did a complete 180, career-wise, and worked for seven years at a prestigious martial arts publishing company. I started as a proofreader and, eventually earned a promotion to be one of the editors and a staff writer. By the time I found my way back to my intended path as a therapist, I had done another year of training in hypnotherapy and started my own company, Calminsense Hypnotherapy®. Did I mention that I also worked as a barista for a time to help make ends meet? (I make a wicked caramel macchiato.)

The point I’m trying to make is this: it has taken me almost 35 years of hard work and experiencing life, trying my hand at different jobs/careers to appreciate what I really wanted to do in order to be where I am right now. It turned out that my ultimate career as a hypnotherapist turned out to be not exactly what I had originally imagined myself doing when I declared that I wanted to be a therapist. But life didn’t stop when I made my “dream job,” so to maintain my company’s success I have assiduously been marketing, advertising and networking my practice through social media. Meanwhile, I continue to earning certifications in additional therapeutic techniques that can help my hypnotherapy clients achieve their avocational and vocational self-improvement goals. In addition to my background in psychology, I can draw on the historical, philosophical and self-defense information I learned and the social experiences I had working at the magazine to help build rapport with and create metaphors and hypnotic scripts for my clients.

Sometimes when I look back on everything I have done and experienced to get where I am, doing what I love to do, I pinch myself and wonder how I got so lucky. And then I remember: luck had nothing to do with my success. Yes, I am still in the process of becoming the person I always wanted/meant/planned to be, but I am that person because I have put in the time and hard work to get where I am.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014