Dealing With Frustration

(This blog was originally posted on July 15, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

        What frustrates you? Being stuck in rush-hour traffic? Having to chase your dog around the neighborhood to catch him after he jumped the fence? Sleeping through your alarm and being late for work? Pop-up ads that block the computer screen and impede your work until you figure out how to get rid of the advertisement? The list goes on. Following are some practical relaxation and visualization techniques that you can use to help you relax when you experience stress during such moments of frustration.

• Diaphragmatic breathing. Draw a slow, deep breath through your nose; hold it four three or four seconds and then release the air through your mouth. Breathing this way not only relaxes the tension in your physical body; it also provides a tangible example (proof) that you can control a specific physical behavior. Repeat this exercise several times until you notice that your pulse/heartbeat returns to its normal (resting) rate.

• Let your conscious awareness of the situation help you out. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas,Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, your subconscious mind is likely following a mental script about how it thinks you “should” respond or behave when you are frustrated. When you are in a situation with which you regularly associate anxiety and frustration, you are likely to experience these negative emotions as soon as your SCM recognizes similar themes in that environment. Practice diaphragmatic breathing while you focus your attention on specific physical characteristics (message units) of the stimuli you experience around you. What do you see, hear, feel, taste or smell? Directing your conscious attention to these individual details in this way will not only help to relax you by distracting your attention away from the source of your stress or frustration. It will also inundate your SCM with these new message units and help to create a new, different (innocuous) mental script about this formerly stress-inducing environment.

• Focus on your options/solutions. As Gil Grissom, one of my favorite characters from the original cast of CBS’ hit series, CSI, used to say: “There is always a clue.” Once your physical body is relaxed and your mind is calm, you can turn your attention to finding solutions to the problem that is causing your stress. Once your subconscious mind has created new associations (knowns­) between feeling calm and your ability to focus, it becomes easier to create new solutions for reducing your frustration or even access previously proved (success) mental scripts to manage your frustration.

• Be polite and gracious to the people around you. Good manners go a long, long way to preventing the development of additional social/emotional stress in your environment. For example, if there is a long line at the drug store when you go to pick up your prescription, you can be pretty sure that other people, including the clerk, are also experiencing frustration about the wait. The simple physical action of smiling at the people around you transforms your negative energy/emotion into a positive response. As Dr. Kappas liked to remind his clients and students, it is impossible for two opposite emotions to exist at the same time. In addition, positive emotion has stronger energy than a negative emotion such as anger or frustration. When you smile, you not only convert the negative energy but also (metaphorically) invite solutions that will resolve your problem, including another person offering to help you out.

Finally, hypnotherapy and therapeutic-guided imagery are great tools to help you learn to relax and manage/control stress and frustration. I will teach you simple breathing and relaxation exercises that you can use to help reduce stress and create a hypnotic script to help manage your frustration during specific situations. I will also give you a recording of your hypnosis to keep that you can listen to and reinforce the relaxation techniques that we worked on during your hypnotherapy session.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “Thinking too well of people often allows them to be better than they otherwise would.” – Nelson Mandela

• “Listen more than you talk. Nobody learned anything by hearing themselves speak.” – Sir Richard Branson

• “Most of us have two lives: The life we live and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.” – Steven Pressfield

• “Your mind is strong medicine. Choose a positive thought.” – Dr. Romie Mushtaq

• “It is only curiosity that knows no boundaries which can be effective against fear.” – Theodore Zeldin

• “Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy.” – @911Well

• “Stand in your discomfort with comfort.” – Lolly Daskal

• “If you're not prepared to be wrong, you'll never come up with anything original.” – Sir Ken Robinson

• “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.” – Mark Twain

• “An obstacle is often an unrecognized opportunity.” – Petteri Tarkkonen

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018

In Honor of Dr. K.

(This blog was originally posted on July 6, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

One of the most interesting components of my hypnotherapy training at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute was video “classes” featuring HMI founder John Kappas, Ph.D. Dr. Kappas passed away a few years before I started my training; however, these tapes (now digital files, I’m sure) made it feel like he was still right there guiding future generations in his hypnotherapy method. Instructors at the hypnotherapy college continue to reference his methods and philosophies in their lectures.

The first time I “saw” Dr. Kappas was when I watched the 101-5 and 101-6 videos about his Emotional and Physical Sexuality concept. I had just completed the 101 mini-course about hypnosis and decided to pursue the hypnotherapy certification. My instructor suggested that everyone who planned to do the certification should watch these videos before the next (201) section of classes began in a few weeks. Ever the over-eager student, I reserved the videos and a viewing-booth right away and settled in to be amazed. Boy was I.

The first thing I noticed about Dr. Kappas was his incredible charisma and soft-yet-booming voice. I’m sure—I know—I went into a light trance watching the classes. I also thought he sometimes bore a strong physical resemblance to the late John Thaw, a British actor probably best known for portraying Inspector Morse in the popular television series. I’m sure that factor alone inspired me to “endeavor” to become the best hypnotherapist I could. (Sorry, I had to write that. I’m sure any Inspector Morse fans reading this blog got the pun.)

One of the first techniques I learned during my hypnotherapy training was how to do an inferred arm-raising induction. Dr. Kappas taught and believed this was the most effective way to help a client achieve hypnotic depth. It’s true. I confess that I did forgo the arm-raising induction for a very brief time when I started my practice. But I quickly realized/discovered that the hypnosis I was providing my clients without using this technique was not as intense or successful and quickly incorporated the I.A.-R. back into my hypnotherapy-induction repertoire. 

Dr. Kappas’s models of E. and P. sexuality and E. and P. suggestibility have also become a daily part of my own life. I can’t think of any situation social interaction in which these concepts do not somehow apply; they have certainly helped me to better understand behavior. I liken learning these theories and models to putting a technicolor spin on my psychology background and training. In addition to being a hypnotherapist, Dr. Kappas was also a psychologist; virtually every one of his therapeutic concepts is modeled on psychological theory. For example, did you know that passive-aggression is associated with very early stages of development? To address and change this behavior in hypnotherapy, I would desensitize the client to the various stimuli that trigger the resistance and help the person find more effective ways to express feelings and fulfil unmet needs.

When I look back on my life and various opportunities I have enjoyed, one of the greatest things I have ever done is become a certified hypnotherapist. This career enables me to incorporate the theories about the brain, psychology and emotion to talk directly to the client’s subconscious mind to help the person change unwanted behaviors beliefs and behaviors. Hypnosis is effective, drug-free and it has been around for centuries. And thanks (many, many thanks) to Dr. John Kappas’s teachings and the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, I am now part of this wonderful tradition and can help you achieve vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018