Exposing a Defense Mechanism

Photo by Rick Hustead

According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., even though the behaviors are manifested consciously, defense mechanisms only operate on a subconscious level. These subconscious devices are designed to “protect” a person from the basic concepts, morals or other things that individual has learned and deemed undesirable. An important feature of a defense mechanism is that it interferes with, prevents or inhibits the person from functioning normally.

Types of defense mechanisms include: compensation, conversion, denial, displacement, dissociation, fantasy, negativism, projection, intellectualization/rationalization, reaction formation, repression, sublimation and undoing. Society even rewards some defense mechanisms such as working hard (but sacrificing family time) to have a career.

The most effective way to deal with a defense mechanism is on the subconscious level: i.e., in hypnosis, Dr. Kappas advised. The hypnotherapist must keep in mind that repression will already be in place as it is an essential component for all defense mechanisms to function. Therefore, it is important to work with the client’s subconscious mind to recognize, acknowledge and accept that a defense mechanism exists and is in place. Finally, the hypnotherapist must help the client create and learn a new subconscious mental script to change those old behavioral patterns, he said.

“If you don’t spot a defense mechanism in regular (cognitive) therapy, use corrective therapy to reveal it,” Dr. Kappas advised.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Don’t Believe Everything You Tell Yourself

Photo by Rick Hustead

Recently, I addressed our human tendency to believe too much in terms of what we see/hear in social media (Think It All Through). Today, I will tackle the most powerful source of influence of our beliefs and behavior: our own mind.

The subconscious mental script that dictates most of our activities started to be written long before we became aware of—let alone noticed—when we act a particular way or why we do what we do. The more we reinforce (repeat) those beliefs and behaviors, and the more we are rewarded socially or emotionally for them, the stronger they will become. However, that doesn’t mean they are true or right.

For example, if you generally received praise for your efforts and encouragement to solve a problem or resolve a conflict, and reassurance and emotional support to overcome a disappointment, you are likely to repeat these actions in similar situations. Conversely, if your efforts to succeed were met with derision and discouragement to undermine your current and prospective future success, you are more likely to internalize and believe these negative messages.

It doesn’t have to be this way. To paraphrase a beloved Native American parable, everyone has a “good” wolf and a “bad” wolf inside that is constantly fighting for control. The good wolf is confident and self-assured; it wants to do the right thing and do right by others. Conversely, the bad wolf lacks that self-confidence; in fact, it is insecure and self-loathing. It has no respect for others or itself, and would just as soon cause pain and discomfort than share joy and opportunity. Ultimately, the winner of this fight will be the wolf you feed.

In my blog titled It’s Just a Thought, I explained the benefits of dismissing outright all of those negative messages that you do not want or need to incorporate in your current mental script. This is essentially controlling what you think and the ideas you allow yourself to entertain. Instead, practicing imagining or visualizing what you/it would look like to experience that success you are working so hard to achieve. What kinds of words do you want and need to hear to actualize this positive outcome, and practice saying and thinking them until they replace that negative chatter. Believe that this positive outcome is possible because you realized the old way of behaving not only doesn’t work for you anymore, but it has triggered actions and beliefs that can only help you succeed.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Thoughts of the Day

Aerial view of Mt. Saint Helen’s

Photo by Sara Fogan

      Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it fearlessly.” – Steve Maraboli

• “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” – Bruce Van Horn

• “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” – Mother Teresa

• “I find that the harder I work the more luck I seem to have.” – Thomas Jefferson

• “I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” – Lewis Carroll

• “Peace is the manifestation of human compassion.” – Dalai Lama

• “An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.” – Buddha

• “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” – William James

• “Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” – Tony Robbins

• “Being loud does not mean being confident.” – Lolly Daskal

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016     

Protective Posturing

Photo by Rick Hustead

A few years ago, as I was switching channels on the television, I happened to catch a couple minutes of a rodeo competition on RFDTV. As I recall, a rider was climbing onto a very large bull, waiting for the chute to open and begin his round. The television announcer started providing a bit of background about the man, including a very interesting detail. Apparently, the rider had recently recovered from a broken collar bone. However, his posture on the animal indicated that he was subconsciously “protecting” the previously injured area, which could undermine his success during the round, the announcer warned. A doctor had cleared the rider to compete, so the man was obviously healthy, fit and strong enough to ride a bucking bull again. However, the rider’s subconscious mind didn’t completely believe this prognosis, which could undermine his self-confidence and actual ability to ride well and stay safe.

Most of us can probably identify with this phenomenon. Whether we are coming back from a long illness or get hurt participating in a sport or performing a task at work, it’s natural to favor other areas of the body to protect the injured area. Sometimes this means that we assume very strange postures or physical contortions, which ultimately puts undue extra strain on the healthy/intact body part.

We also do this metaphorically to protect ourselves from emotional pain or discomfort, such as following the end of a relationship or loss through bereavement or geographic relocation. We build metaphoric walls around our feelings (hearts), and use sarcasm and even cruel comments to discourage anyone from trying to break through and establish a bond. Have you ever sworn to “never fall in love again” when your true love breaks your heart, or to never buy or adopt another pet after a beloved companion animal has died? These behaviors serve the same purpose: to protect that vulnerable or injured part of ourselves from future pain by blocking off or using defensive behaviors to guard that area from further injury.

In fact, the desire to avoid emotional pain is so ingrained that the subconscious mind has specific strategies to protect us from these risks. According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D., an Emotional Sexual individual uses rationality and intellect to distance (separate) him- or herself from a potentially contentious (romantic) situation to protect these vulnerable emotions. The Emotional Sexual person always wants to maintain control, and the best way to do this is to literally “turn off” the feelings or, at very least, to segregate sexual desire from emotional entanglement.

 While a Physical Sexual individual uses his or her body (sex) to protect the person from emotional vulnerability, sex and love are often indistinguishable in this person’s mind. If and when this person feels threatened emotionally—in other words, fears rejection by the partner—he or she tends to become very clingy and needy, trying to keep the lover close by and thus “under control.” Of course, these behaviors only push the other person further away and open fresh emotional wounds.

When it comes to recovering from a broken bone or a broken heart, many times the best course for complete recovery is to step back for a little (or long) while and let that real or metaphoric fracture to heal. Loosen the reins or hold you have on that volatile situation; let it run its course without so much intervention but enough confidence in your ability to either stay the course or safely separate from it to ride or love again another day.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016