Opportunities to Handle It

“Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you handle it.”  – Lou Holtz

Photo courtesy of Microsoft Bing

 

I think a part of my subconscious mind was already tuned in to ESPN football analyst and former National Collegiate Athletic Association football coach Lou Holtz’s philosophy when I detached the filter from the machine. Before that moment, I had never ever tried to clean the filter so soon after the espresso finished dripping through; but that day my mind was on about 20 other things and I wasn’t focusing on what I was doing. In my rush to be efficient so I could tackle my next task (baking), I reached for the filter handle to clean up the machine after I made my latte.

BOOM! POP! Espresso grounds flew everywhere.

Let me just say that before I enrolled at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute—let alone became a certified hypnotherapist—this kind of incident probably would have wound me up more than the caffeine I was drinking. But this time, I was willing and very able to take my mishap in stride. Sure, the mess was inconvenient; but there was a silver lining to the clean-up I had to do. I took HMI founder Dr. John Kappas’s advice to just “turn the situation around” directly to heart. Now that I already had to clean up the espresso grounds, this would be a perfect opportunity to really clean the espresso machine as well.  I had recently noticed that the water was filtering very slowly of late; or, sometimes inconsistent amounts of the beverage would be produced. It was time to figure out what was going on so I could get back to enjoying my latte.

The clean-up was also a great opportunity to do some of the relaxation techniques I recommend and teach to my hypnotherapy clients when they are frustrated. I practiced diaphragmatic breathing—drawing slow, deep breaths through my nose, holding the breath for several seconds and slowly released the air through my mouth. Meanwhile, I focused on completely brushing away the errant grounds and then ran the machine with just clear water to flush out the remnant espresso that got stuck in the machine. To prevent my subconscious mind from drifting into negative self-talk and recrimination about all the time I had to spend cleaning up the mess, I sang along with the holiday songs playing on the radio. I thought about all of the holiday festivities to come in the coming days. I even thanked myself for creating an opportunity to give the machine a mini tune-up that would ultimately brew better espresso.

Before I knew it, I had completely handled the mess as well as my non-reaction to it. The espresso maker was clean and working better than it had in a long time, and I had plenty of time to enjoy my beverage before I started my holiday baking. Win-win.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Body Syndromes: Guilt and Sexual Frustration Syndrome

 

Have you ever told an acquaintance that you can’t make it to their party because you have a headache—only to develop a bad stomachache that prevents you from attending a different event that you really wanted to go to? Alternatively, perhaps you have noticed that your period has become irregular or other symptoms of your reproductive organs.  If so, you may have experienced Guilt/Sexual Frustration Syndrome.

According to John Kappas, Ph.D., whenever a person represses or holds in (does not express) an emotion the displaced energy from that experience is converted into a physical “symptom” of that emotional trauma. Even though there are no nerve endings in the brain, emotions in the brain through our perceptions (e.g., smell, taste, sight, hearing, touch). Electric impulses carry this information through the body and begin to manifest physical discomfort in those areas that are specifically associated with a certain repressed emotion, the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder stated.

Illnesses of the adrenal glands, hips, intestines, lower back and sexual organs typically manifest Guilt/Sexual Frustration Syndrome which are related to guilt and sexual/relationship problems. Symptoms related to this syndrome include: anorgasmia, constipation, irregular menstruation, Irritable-Bowel Syndrome, lower-back pain and prostate or ejaculatory dysfunction. Perhaps you feel guilty about not disclosing something on an official document or flirting with someone other than your spouse, etc. Alternatively, these illnesses can also manifest sexual/relationship problems, such as sexual frustration, sexual dysfunction, abstinence and sexual confusion).

As a certified hypnotherapist, it is out of my scope of expertise to diagnose an illness or to recognize/identify specific symptoms that have a psychological or physiological origin. However, once a licensed medical or psychology expert has ruled out a medical etiology of your symptom, with a follow-up referral from that licensed professional, I can continue to work with you in hypnotherapy to alleviate and/or control these symptoms. In addition, I can use hypnosis and therapeutic guided-imagery techniques to address the specific emotional trauma that has triggered those symptoms and help you to pursue and achieve your vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

 

Dressing the Part

 

                Whenever I have to get something done, I dress the part. When I was working as a magazine editor, I wore a suit to work just about every day. I don’t know why I started doing that. Perhaps it was because, having just returned from England after living abroad for seven years, I was used to seeing professional people looking like they had somewhere important to go. Monday through Friday, on the London Underground, at bus stations and walking around the city, everyone looked so chic. (Of course, people dressed the part in Los Angeles, too; but since most people drove cars out here it was hard to know how they really looked from outside the vehicle.) But I also discovered that it was easier for me to get and maintain that mind-set for my work throughout the day.

My days as a magazine editor are long over, but I continue to dress for whatever part or role I am playing on a given day. If am going to give a presentation about hypnotherapy or work with my hypnotherapy clients, I wear business attire. If I am going out to the barn to ride my horse or just hang out with him and do chores around the barn, I put on my “horse clothes”: i.e., britches, shirt or sweater, half-chaps, Mountain Horse Jod boots. Right before I get on Galahad, I am also wearing gloves and my Troxel riding helmet. If I am competing in a horse show, I wear specific riding gear for that: white britches, white blouse and stock tie, black dressage coat and my tall dressage boots—plus white leather gloves, hair-net and stock pin. If I am going out for the evening, I wear appropriate attire for whatever the activity or event I am attending.

Finally, dressing the part helps to increase my self-confidence in my ability to do whatever task is at hand. When I was dressed like an editor—or what I thought an editor should wear—I also looked and acted like an editor. As a hypnotherapist, it is important to me that I can convey a sense of confidence, experience, calm and support to my clients. Sometimes, I also wear a name badge to reinforce this image when I work with someone for the first time. When I’m at the barn, I feel more confident and secure about my activities knowing that I am wearing protective gear that is specifically designed to prevent serious injury if I fall off a horse or get kicked or stepped on.

Guess what? I even put on something that tells me (and my subconscious mind) it’s time to relax and unwind from the stresses of the day when I am just planning to hang out at home reading or watching television. I know that my SCM should “know” how to relax as instinctively as it knows how to do most of the activities I mentioned above. However, sometimes I even have to remind myself that it’s okay to just do one thing (or nothing) at a time. In a way, the clothing functions like the critical area of my subconscious mind, as Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D. described in his Theory of Mind. This is the area of the mind that rejects any unknown or unfamiliar (painful) information for the SCM. So, to put this model into effect, when I am at work seeing a client, my official attire reminds my mind rejects distracting message units about the time I will spend with Galahad later in the day. And when I am with my horse, my riding garments remind me to focus on him.

 

Especially the boots: they have a reinforced steel toe to protect my feet in case I start thinking about something other than my boy, who likes to remind me where my attention should be focused  if it drifts away from him.

                                                                            

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

 

 

 

The Horse as Equine Partner

(This blog was originally posted on May 18, 2011)

 

 

I believe that people who train and work with horses should aim to achieve a partnership with their horse. I love the way Monty Roberts and Kelly Marks talk about their “equine partners” when they teach horsemanship and training techniques. My trainers teach every student at the barn to consider and interact with their mount as an equine partner. But, what does this term really mean? What does it mean to be a human partner to your horse?

Enid Bagnold’s classic novel, National Velvet, depicts a teenage Velvet Brown’s bond with a piebald gelding, which she rides to victory in the Grand National horse race. In Walter Farley’s The Black Stallion, Alec Ramsay earns the trust of an Arabian stallion when they are shipwrecked on a deserted island. “The Black” demonstrates his devotion to Alec when he kills a cobra poised to bite the boy; after they are rescued, Alec enlists the help of a former jockey to train them for an important race. Finally, in one of the most exciting scenes in my favorite movie, The Man From Snowy River, Jim Craig’s trusted mount gallops at breakneck speed, headlong down a cliff and over rugged terrain in their quest to round up a herd of wild horses.

Now, consider the horses that you have known in your life: The horse that carried you safely home when you were sure that you were “lost” on the trail. The horse who, even after “dumping” you at that oxer, stood patiently beside you and waited for you to catch your breath (and gathered your pride) before climbing on his back. The horse that braced his body perpendicular to a steep incline, allowing you to pull yourself up the hill by using the reins and his weight as leverage. Finally: The horse that carried you to a first-place win after crossing 100 miles of grueling terrain in an endurance race, or bested the other equine athletes at a three-day, combined-training event. How—or, why—do they do these things for us?

While considering this question, I am reminded of the famous challenge in President Kennedy’s inaugural speech: “Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country.” I believe that this theme forms the basis of the partnership that is forged between a horse and his rider. Rather than focus on the prize or reward that is being offered at the end of the ride, consider what it takes to achieve that goal.

Spend time watching your horse in pasture and take the time to learn how to communicate and interpret the horse’s body language. Groom him and establish a mutual bond of trust and respect before you even think about climbing onto his back. Rather than jabbing a spur into his side and demanding your horse to go forward, first “ask” him to walk/trot/canter out with gentle aid, such as a cluck or squeeze. Reward the horse with praise and gentle pats when he does what you have asked. When you must correct the horse’s behavior, be firm—but fair: refusing to go forward because he is belligerent is not the same thing as not understanding what you have asked him to do. If your horse spooks at something on a trail or in the arena, help him to build his confidence by remaining patient and calm through the incident. Be an example of bravery as you desensitize him to what has previously startled him. Demonstrate and reinforce your role as herd leader by providing him with food, water, shelter and time to just be a horse.

If, as Kelly Marks writes, you can “be the owner your horse would choose for himself,” he can be a reliable equine partner for you.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

 

Defense Mechanisms: Denial

            A baseball player rejects the doctor’s diagnosis that even if the injury heals completely, the shoulder will never again be strong enough for pitching on a Major League Baseball team. A man refuses to believe that he is terminally ill and books a Mediterranean cruise for Christmas 2017. A mother continues to set a place for her daughter at the dinner table even though the girl ran away six years ago and has never contacted her family since she left home. You continue to wear your wedding band even though your spouse has just served you with divorce papers.

These are examples of denial, a defense mechanism in which the mind blocks external events from entering our awareness by abolishing (negating) their very existence to reduce fear of the unknown (“pain”). Like other defense mechanisms, denial is: 1) unconscious; 2) self-deceptive; 3) and it distorts reality through thoughts and action. “Change is a threat to the subconscious mind,” said John Kappas, Ph.D.  According to the Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder’s Theory of Mind, everyone is subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. The primary role of a defense mechanism is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain” of having to deal with an unknown.

It is possible to successfully “avoid” suffering emotional pain by temporarily ignoring or refusing to accept its existence, and such denial can go on for a very long time. However, our level of success (comfort) in negating an unpleasant event or emotion can only exist as long as we continue to believe our subconscious deception. Over time, becomes increasingly difficult to nurture this defense mechanism as we continue to perceive and process more and more information (message units) to contradict our fictional reality. Eventually, we must address the primary issue that has triggered the defense mechanism in order to resolve it and achieve personal growth.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Holiday Baking

Photo (and cookie) by Sara Fogan

                I imagine that a lot of people have kept busy baking—or preparing to bake—treats for the holidays in the past week or so. I sure have!

                As I have gotten older, opening gifts has become less of an event for me than selecting, wrapping and giving presents. Especially baking holiday goodies: cookies, cakes, side dishes for the main meal… Whatever can be prepared with love and specific attention, I am totally there to do it. For me, this is the part of holiday cheer that really makes me smile and, well, puts me in the holiday spirit.

                Perhaps my enjoyment comes from the known of these activities and behaviors. Of course, certain family favorites are on the menu every year: Gingerbread men and sugar cookies cut out into various Christmas and Chanukah shapes are a given. (Nothing says Christmas like Gingerbread men, right?) Then come the chocolate-chip cookies, peanut-butter cookies and assorted other flavors per my craving. After watching my mom baking goodies and fussing with holiday decorations/preparations during my childhood, I came to associate the delicious smells emanating from the kitchen with the love and attention she put into it. Over the years, sifting flour, measuring sugar, cracking eggs, pouring the chocolate-chips into the batter, cutting out the shapes of gingerbread men all became ingrained in my mind as a subconscious known.

Every so often a new goodie would be added to the repertoire: lemon bars and “peppermint bark” are recent family favorites. But I remember how almost resistant I was to adding those new treats to my baking repertoire. Not because I thought it would be too much work, but because they were new (unknown) and not yet part of the family tradition. Yummy as I knew those new treats would be, I was a little reluctant to try a new recipe. What if the recipe was too complicated? What if the finished product didn’t look like the cookie in the picture? Yes, it was fear of the unknown; ultimately, thankfully—with a lot of practice making them—all of these recipes have worked out very well.

Now, rather than strictly follow a recipe I can rely on my mental scripts for holiday baking. Since I have been following this same behavior for so many years, I know I can trust my instinct (muscle memory) to adding just the right amount of a specific ingredient to the mix. Even more important, after “experimenting” with different versions that have come out of the oven over the years, I know what I can substitute (or not) and the recipe will still make a delectable treat.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

Eat a Snack

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

I recently saw a television advertisement for Weight Watchers® that really summed up our often-complicated relationship with food. In it, different people are shown eating various yummy morsels while a take on the song “If You’re Happy” plays in the background. The lyrics cover a variety of emotions—happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, etc.—to correspond with eating a specific food item.

I think this is a very clever marketing tool because it subtly (and not-so-subtly) addresses our tendency to justify or cushion our emotions with food, which can lead to overeating. And isn’t that what so many of us do? The implication of this advertisement is that we learn to associate eating with satisfying or fulfilling an emotion. In this case, according to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, over time and with repeated exposure food becomes a “known” in our subconscious mental script. If your primary caretaker “rewarded” a good grade with your favorite meal, or offered you a bowl of ice cream when a beloved pet died, you likely developed a subconscious association between food and important life events.

In a similar way, food eventually becomes a subconscious emotional “anchor” that reminds us of comfort, nurturing and even encouragement or protection when times get tough. As adults, we continue this pattern by going out to eat to celebrate a promotion at work or devour a container of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate fudge-brownie ice cream to console ourselves after breaking up with a partner. And just like the song lyrics go, when we feel frustrated we ­reach for some potato chips and crunch through the entire bag as if devouring snack will also macerate the problem. Even if eating this way is no longer pleasurable for you, since the behavior is known, comfortable and safe you keep doing it.

For more information about how hypnotherapy can help you change unhealthy eating patterns and inappropriate associations with food and to take off extra weight, contact me at (661) 433-9430 or send an e-mail to calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com.

                       

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014