Body Language

(This blog was originally posted on April 25, 2014)

     I am fascinated by a television advertisement for mobile (cell) phone services. In the ad, a group of potential customers puts a representative of a major, national phone company through her paces as they ask about various communications features that the company offers. Viewers are led to infer that the prospective customers are real-estate agents, because each of them is professionally rand sports a tan blazer with a large emblem of a house on the left side of the jacket. The group pretty much verifies the identity of their vocation when one of the women says, “Let’s close!” and they all cross their arms over their chest and grin. But it is what the customers and the sales representative say with their bodies throughout the ad that is of greatest interest to me.

     Throughout the ad, the phone-company representative matches every physical and facial gesture that her prospective clients make. As a customer’s voice lilts at the end of a question, the salesperson uses a similar lilt in her response. When one person points a finger to make a point, the sales rep makes the same movement during her explanation. Someone steeples her fingers across her midsection; the sales rep makes the same gesture. Another person in the group nods and raises her eyebrows; so does she. When the camera pans back a little, viewers can see that the sales rep has even adopted a similar stance as she stands with the customers. At the end of the advertisement when one of the customers crosses her arms and announces they will all take (“close”) the deal, her colleagues look at her and immediately imitate the crossed-arms gesture.

     I like this ad because it is such a fabulous demonstration of how people mirror someone’s behavior in order to build rapport with someone. If your job entails selling products or services, you probably recognized every sales technique depicted in the advertisement I just described. But you don’t have to be a salesperson or a customer to identify with what went on. We mirror each other’s various behaviors—facial expressions, physical gestures, patterns of speech—all the time, often without realizing that we are doing it. These actions are like a “fast track” to building rapport with someone you would like to get to know better. People are naturally attracted to others who behave or seem to think like they do.

     Think about a conversation you have had recently: Did you nod at some point during the conversation or lean forward in your seat as if to listen to your companion’s words even more closely? And did your companion then lean his or her body closer to yours, return your nod or mirror a hand movement that you were previously unaware of having made? Did you notice when your spouse or friend took a step forward, backward or sideways to mirror your stance, or raised or lowered his or her voice to match the tone of yours? These are examples of mirroring; and mirroring is a subconscious (or conscious) behavior that creates rapport and can facilitate social bonds by reinforcing similarity or familiarity between you. Rapport is an inherent and necessary component of every kind of relationship; it is the cornerstone upon which every relationship is built. It is only when we establish rapport with someone are we likely to explore the similarities and differences between us, and know whether we want to spend the time and energy to create a social, romantic or professional relationship with that person. Without rapport, we cannot come to trust, respect, like or communicate well with him or her, and a relationship—or a successful sale—is unlikely to result from the interaction.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

 

Why Are New Ideas Scary?

 

Last week, I saw a brilliant television advertisement for General Electric. Titled “Ideas Are Scary,” it shows how people react when introduced to a new idea: “Ideas are frightening, because they threaten what is known. They are the natural-born enemy of the way things are,” the narrator explains.

According to Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, the longer you have held a belief or been practicing a behavior, the more deeply you ingrain it in your mind. Eventually, it becomes a default, a comfort zone, a known. Every time you repeat that behavior or habit, you send another positive message to the SCM that reinforces your comfortable association with what you are doing. In his Theory of Mind, John Kappas, Ph.D., refers to the subconscious mind categorizing certain events or stimuli as “pleasure.” In this context, pleasure is something the person identifies as familiar or known, but not necessarily “pleasurable.” In other words, you are equally likely to continue to behave in a particular way even if it is uncomfortable, because that behavior is what you know and where your subconscious mind tells you that you are safe. However, anything “new” is initially considered painful; the subconscious mind will continue to reject it until repeated exposure to the stimulus makes it familiar (known) and can be accepted in the subconscious mind.

I have summarized the plot of this ad in the context of Dr. Kappas’s model, below:

·         The new idea is introduced as a hairy, unrecognizable creature lying on its back in a baby bed in a neonatal ward. Nurses huddle against the walls, pointing and talking to each other (presumably) about the unusual creature in their midst. Once out of the ward, the “ugly, messy” idea wanders around alone on the street. (Unknown: pain)

·         People throw objects at it from car windows; pedestrians stare, grimace and hurry past. The Idea is ushered out of businesses and even evicted from a café where it has stopped to rest. Sad music plays in the background as it shuffles out of the restaurant. With its shoulders slumped, the Idea finally curls up in a cardboard box on the street. (Rejection)

·          When it finally ventures back onto the street, the Idea passes General Electric, where an employee opens the glass front door and welcomes it inside. Here the Idea is finally, no longer scary. It is no longer messy or a threat to the status quo. The innovators and inventors at General Electric seek out and create new ideas, themselves. After all, new ideas are familiar, comfortable and “knowns” for them. They are ready and willing to nurture this fragile creature into an established concept or belief: (Repetition creates comfort)

·         By the end of the advertisement the Idea has been cleaned up: Its once limp and lank coat and tail and head feathers are now fluffed and their color returned to their former luster. The now-receptive audience gives Idea a standing ovation as it steps behind the podium on a stage to present its message to others: “But under the proper care, they become something beautiful,” the narrator concludes. (Acceptance of a new known in the subconscious mental script.)

 

This is by far the best illustration of the Theory of Mind that I have ever seen. I encourage you to click on the Ideas Are Scary link to watch this clever advertisement and see how it illustrates Dr. Kappas’s concept. For more information and examples of the Theory of Mind, I invite you to read more of my blogs at www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015