Suggestions of a Scent

(This blog was originally posted on 2.3.2015)

Photo by Rick Hustead

               

After the New Year I typically do an early “Spring Cleaning” in which I donate clothes or other items that I no longer use to make room for new items I received as gifts over the holidays. When I started sorting this year I came across some old bottles of perfume that I hadn’t worn in ages. Curious, I spritzed one of my favorites into the air and inhaled deeply. Of course the composition of those scents had degraded by now; in their less pure form they were actually more intense. Equally intense was the power of my memories of the emotions I felt back when I used to wear that brand of perfume.

Good days, not-so-good days—it all came flooding back in a rush. I remembered the friend who introduced me to my former signature scent. Then that recollection reminded me where I was at that time: I was living in a suburb of London and had just started working on my post-graduate degree. In January, it would have been much colder and wetter in London than the current weather in Southern California. In fact, around this time twenty-four years ago, snow fell in Southeast London and blanketed the rooftops and pavements in neighborhood for several days….

That unexpected trek down memory lane served as a powerful reminder of why I do not wear perfume or use scented candles or incense when I work with hypnotherapy clients. Olfaction (sense of smell) is one of the most powerful triggers of memory and strong, pervasive emotional associations. As I explained in my previous blog titled Anchors, the mind creates a subconscious link or “anchor” between the scent a person perceives and whatever is going on in his or her life at that moment. Even though the details of a specific event will likely fade from the conscious mind over time, exposure to a scent or odor can trigger an unexpected memory that the subconscious mind associates with that moment in time.

Part of my work as their hypnotherapist entails helping my clients to create new, positive associations that will facilitate the achievement of their self-improvement goals. Therefore, it is important that minimize the possibility that something about me will unintentionally create or trigger a subconscious association between me and a previous, unwanted behavior that could impede the therapeutic process.

SPECIAL OFFER!

I am currently offering a 10 percent discount on all hypnotherapy for weight-loss/weight-management sessions. This offer is good through April 30, 2017. It is not exchangeable for cash and may not be combined with any other offer. For more information and to set up an appointment, please contact me at (661) 433-9430 or send an e-mail to calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com. 

Also: save $250 toward a purchase of 24 sessions or more for personal training with Irvin Burton, CEO and Founder at Tiger Crane Martial Arts & Fitness. You can contact him at Irvin_Burton@yahoo.com or call (661) 993-8621. 

                 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Why Do We Keep Returning to Pain?

“The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas

as in escaping from old ones.” – J. M. Keynes

Photo by Rick Hustead

Many years ago, an aerobics teacher commented to my class that the discomfort of childbirth is the only kind of natural, “healthy” pain we should experience. Every other kind or source indicates that something is very wrong in the body and should receive immediate attention. This warning is also true of emotional pain—or, it certainly should be—but it is so often disregarded or even intentionally ignored to return to the source or cause of that pain. Why ?

When I explain “Theory of Mind,” I often use the example of how individuals frequently return to an abusive romantic partner to explain how even a painful experience can be associated with the familiarity of what is known. From very early childhood we are taught to associate physical pain and discomfort as negative, bad, something to be avoided or fixed right away. Conversely, in an effort to avoid conflict or even a physical altercation we repeat the mantra, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” We are encouraged to ignore the verbal slights and barbs and do whatever is necessary to maintain peace in the environment. (This model also applies in a physically abusive relationship.) We learn to look the other way or look for the good, positive attributes once attracted us to him or her and enter the relationship. Over time, every time we repeat this behavior and return to the source of the pain, we are actually reinforcing the subconscious known which provides that temporary comfort of familiarity in the relationship.

As Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D. explained, we are all subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. Since the subconscious mind is motivated and even programmed to seek this comfort, we naturally, repeatedly gravitate toward the source of that comfortable, secure state until something or someone is available to replace that familiar stimulus. In some respects this response can be likened to addictive behaviors: Every positive gesture or response the person receives is an emotional reward that literally lights up the pleasure areas of the brain. However, when the response is negative—hurtful or even abusive—the subconscious association of familiarity in this situation knowing that it will likely turn around again is equally if not more powerful. No matter how frustrating and even humiliating the “pain” of that rejection is, the lingering hope that the situation will turn around and the negative behavior will actually change keeps us toughing out the temporary pain, luring us back.

Fortunately, hypnotherapy and guided imagery can help you change this behavior pattern by replacing and rewriting the subconscious mental script that has been keeping you in this pattern for so long. A hypnotherapeutic process called de-loving is also extremely effective to help dissolve the subconscious associations to the feelings and emotions that you carry for the other person and/or relationship. Instead of erasing any memories of the other person or situation, however, de-loving helps you return to a neutral and even indifferent attitude that enables you to focus on yourself, personal goals and other (more) important areas of your life.

For more information about this topic and to set up an appointment with me, call or send a text to (661) 433-9430 or send an e-mail to me at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

 

Wither Scratches

 

(This blog was originally posted on August 13, 2014)

 

 

Photo by Laurel van der Linde

 

Avalon's Galahad with his dam, Alisa

 

 

 

                When my horse gets startled or if he seems anxious or worried about something when I’m riding, I scratch his withers and speak soft words of reassurance to let him that everything is okay. This gesture mimics the way Galahad’s mother would have gently nibbled him there to comfort and reassure her foal, “I’m here. You are safe. I will take care of you.” To put this response in the context of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind. When I scratch Galahad’s withers, he responds to this sensation with a deep sigh and fluttering his nostrils (nickering) because I have activated his known association between a specific tactile sensation and feeling secure.

                Consider how a human mother might comfort her fussing infant. Once she is confident that the baby is not hungry and doesn’t need a diaper change, she would probably pick him up and hold the child until he stops crying. She might pat or rub small circles on the baby’s back, between his shoulder blades, and whisper comforting words to soothe him. (This behavior and area of the body that is rubbed is very similar to the wither scratches I described earlier.) The baby learns by association and repetition of this interaction that when he is upset, Mom (or Dad, sibling, etc.) will protect and take care of him. If she doesn’t do any of these things, the baby will create a subconscious association between how she reacts to his distress and whether he will feel comforted and safe. In addition, when that child grows up and has his own children, he is likely to interact with them the same way his parent did, because that is what he knows.

I am not saying my horse thinks and reasons or plans the same way a human does. However, the fact that his training is based on a model of repetition and association suggests that in addition to his instinctive reactions, he also responds to some situations based on what he learned (knows) through his training. Just as a human learns to comfort a child based on his or her experiences being a comforted child, a mare learns from her own mother how to soothe her baby. My mother taught me how good it feels to feel safe and cared for, and a late riding instructor told me where and how to scratch this sweet spot on a horse’s withers to reassure him the same way. Fast-forward to today, Galahad associates particular contact on a specific part of his body as a sign of reassurance from me—someone who is not his mother but learned how to comfort him the way she would have.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015