The Cycle of Violence

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

(This blog was originally posted on May 31, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

 

Hypnotherapy is an extremely effective tool to help manage anger and frustration. However, dealing with domestic violence is another situation entirely. This abuse can be physical, sexual or emotional violence; bleeding and other indications of physical battery do not have to be evident for the negative behavior to be classified as abuse. Furthermore, it can be directed against spouses (wives and husbands), the elderly, children, etc. Examples of such violence include spousal abuse, child abuse, incest and rape.

The underlying “cause” or subconscious motivation of the abuse is for the abuser to gain or feel power over and control the victim. For example, the person may threaten or actually withhold access to money/finances, intimidate with coercion or threats, humiliate or “guilt” the victim, isolate from friends or other family members, minimize the effects of the abuse/deny it happened, prevent access to kids/deny visitation, use “male privilege,” etc. Whether the duration of this cycle is long (e.g., lasts weeks or months) or short (e.g., lasts hours or days), it usually escalates and can have deadly consequences for the victim. Following is an outline of the typical pattern or cycle that violence is expressed.

Phase 1: Building Tension

Stress

Frustration

Low Self-esteem

Poor Communication

 Phase 2: Explosion/Losing Control

Fight

Anger

Fear

Poor communication

 

Phase 3: Honeymoon/Loving & Remorse Stage

Guilt

Remorse

Promises: “I’ll never do it again!”

Phase 1  … And so the cycle repeats.

 

 

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Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit my website. 

© 2022

 

 

The Cycle of Violence

(This blog was originally posted on May 31, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Hypnotherapy is an extremely effective tool to help manage anger and frustration. However, dealing with domestic violence is another situation entirely. This abuse can be physical, sexual or emotional violence; bleeding and other indications of physical battery do not have to be evident for the negative behavior to be classified as abuse. Furthermore, it can be directed against spouses (wives and husbands), the elderly, children, etc. Examples of such violence include spousal abuse, child abuse, incest and rape.

The underlying “cause” or subconscious motivation of the abuse is for the abuser to gain or feel power over and control the victim. For example, the person may threaten or actually withhold access to money/finances, intimidate with coercion or threats, humiliate or “guilt” the victim, isolate from friends or other family members, minimize the effects of the abuse/deny it happened, prevent access to kids/deny visitation, use “male privilege,” etc. Whether the duration of this cycle is long (e.g., lasts weeks or months) or short (e.g., lasts hours or days), it usually escalates and can have deadly consequences for the victim. Following is an outline of the typical pattern or cycle that violence is expressed.

Phase 1: Building Tension

Stress

Frustration

Low Self-esteem

Poor Communication

Phase 2: Explosion/Losing Control

Fight

Anger

Fear

Phase 3: Honeymoon/Loving & Remorse Stage

Guilt

Remorse

Promises: “I’ll never do it again!”

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.” – Zig Ziglar

• “The difference between a goal and a dream is a deadline.” – Steve Smith

• “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” – Abraham Lincoln

• “Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.” – Chinese Proverb

• “Ask for nothing less than inspiration.” – Deepak Chopra

• “Be careful about trying to get what you deserve. You might get it.” – Bruce Van Horn

• “Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.” – Mother Teresa

• “There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book.” – Lolly Daskal

• “Never lie to someone who trusts you, and never trust someone who lies to you.” – Gary Lindberg

• “Our attitude towards suffering becomes very important because it can affect how we cope with suffering when it arises.” – Dalai Lama

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

     Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “I don’t believe in taking foolish chances. But nothing can be accomplished without taking any chances at all.” – Charles Lindbergh

• “Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” – Margaret Thatcher

• “I believe any success in life is made by going into an area with a blind, furious optimism.” – Sylvester Stallone

• “Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.” – Will Rogers

• “No wind favors he who has no destined port.” – Michel de Montaigne

• “You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut.” – Dr. Seuss

• “Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.” – Danny Kaye

• “Happiness is a choice not a chance.” – Bille Baty

• “Your presence is hereby requested in your life.” – Lolly Daskal

• “If you quit, quitting will become easier and easier for the rest of your life.” – Osman Minkara

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018