How Hypnotherapy Can Alleviate Fear of Failure

(This blog was originally posted on February 22, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

At some point during our lifetime, we will fail at something. Whether it’s a geometry test in high school, not waking up when the alarm goes off in the morning, a relationship doesn’t blossom the way we hoped, etc., failure of some kind is likely to touch us all. Despite the negative connotations and associations with this term, however, failing at something can actually be one of life’s greatest gifts because it usually presents an opportunity to try something else that suits us better. Dr. John Kappas, the founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, used to advise his hypnotherapy students and clients to think or say “I like it!” even when the situation was unfavorable. Allowing ourselves to see the opportunity in perceived misfortune or inconvenience is a chance to look for and find that alternative path.

However, fear of failure is also a very real phenomenon that affects many, many people to the point of their becoming unwilling or even unable to pursue a goal or complete a task in case something goes wrong. Of course, consciously we know that not taking an action to realize that goal is another and more reliable way to guarantee failing at it. However, the subconscious mind is secretly relieved because this state of immobility is comfortable, familiar and “known.” Hypnotherapy can help you manage and overcome this fear to get back on track to pursue desired goals.

When I work with someone who has a fear of failure, one of the first things I want to do is help the client identify where and how this fear evolved. If the individual does not know or can’t remember its origin, I might suggest that the person will have a venting dream about the incident to analyze in a future hypnotherapy session. I would also desensitize the person to this fear and any stimuli that trigger this anxiety and replace the fear of failure with smiling or laughing, whenever he or she thinks about it. 

Another effective strategy is to employ plenty of imagery/visualization exercises to prepare the client to get rid of this fear, and tie a stronger relaxation response to override the fear/anxiety. “You need to double-bind the client by substituting a positive suggestion for negative feelings or fear,” Dr. Kappas advised. For example, tie the client’s fear of success with the image of actually achieving that desired goal. If the person does not have any recent experiences or memories of achievement, I would work with him or her to choose and set small, achievable task to start this process. As the person continues to succeed at these projects, I would reinforce the association between relaxation and increasing confidence with achieving these new and increasingly challenging goals. Ultimately, eventually, the “fear of failure” will be replaced with a new subconscious known: enjoyment of success.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified clinical hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

     Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “No matter how far you run, the truth is always waiting when you get there.” – Bruce Van Horn

• "The most important key to achieving great success is to decide upon your goal and launch, get started, take action, move." – John Wooden

• “Sometimes the most responsible thing to do with power is to resist the urge to use it.” – Brian Rathbone

• “Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there.” – Lolly Daskal

• “You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you.” – Wayne Dyer

• “Opportunity doesn’t make appointments; you have to be ready when it arrives.” – Tim Fargo

• “A dream can be the answer to a question we have not yet learned to ask.” – Fox Mulder, The X Files

• “You can often change your circumstances by changing your attitude.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

• "Between the great things we cannot do and the small things we will not do, the danger is that we shall do nothing." – Adolphe Monod

• “When the character of someone is not clear to you, look at their friends.” – Unknown

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

      Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “Not every good opportunity is the right opportunity.” – Sam Dei Lune

• “There are some things you simply must ponder in your heart. Your heart has the answer that you cannot get from anywhere else.” – Iyanla Vanzant

• “Silence has a mysterious calming effect, allowing your soul to be at peace with your thoughts.” – A.D. Williams

• “You never meet the right people at the wrong time because the right people are timeless.” – Kenneday Carmoon

• “The lies people tell us do far less damage than the lies we tell ourselves.” – Bruce Van Horn

• “The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.” – Confucius

• “Beauty starts in your head, not in your mirror.” – Joubert Botha

• “We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.” – Oscar Wilde

• “Energy flows where attention goes.” – Michael Bernard Beckwith

• “Be perfectly willing to be perfectly human.” – Lolly Daskal

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017     

The Gift

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.

That is why they call it ‘the present.’” – Unknown

Photo by Rick Hustead

My grandfather liked to quote the above saying from time to time, but I never really understood the true meaning of that sentiment until I became an adult. Even now it can still sometimes be tough to find a positive aspect to a difficult or challenging situation after the fact, let alone at the time it is going on. However, it is this ability to see the “bright side” or even find a hidden blessing in misfortune that increases our courage, fortitude and ability to handle or even avoid a similar situation in the future.

Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D. often advised people to “turn it around!” when they were faced with an uncomfortable or difficult situation. Rather than focus on the unpleasant details or challenges you might be experiencing at the moment, look for a positive aspect/redeeming quality or lesson that could be learned from it. If you have a misunderstanding with a family member or even a colleague at work, consider what circumstances led up to the argument. Perhaps you or the other person misunderstood the meaning or intent behind something that was said. The lesson or “gift” of that experience would be that in the future, you would be more thoughtful and careful about what and how you communicated a thought or idea. You would also understand that it might be prudent to ask questions and clarify the meaning of what you believe you heard or saw before making any judgment about an incident.

But the greatest benefit of considering the present as a true gift is that you can approach each new day and situation with appreciation for the opportunities, wisdom and pleasure the experience can offer. The subconscious mind may try to challenge this more carefree, appreciative perspective about the unknown with cautionary memories about a similar situation that may not have worked out. You may even experience uncomfortable physiological symptoms of anxiety that are further exacerbated by a sudden drop in blood-sugar level if you happen to be hungry at the time. But this reaction is merely the subconscious mind’s reference to a previous subconscious mental script that likes and wants to attach old meanings to a new experience. No matter how many similarities exist between those experiences to make the outcome somewhat predictable, each one is inherently unique and therefore deserves to be enjoyed and appreciated for what it is: A gift.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016