Your Definition of Success

(This blog was originally posted on September 3, 2014)

“The secret of success is to be ready when your 

opportunity comes.” – Benjamin Disraeli

     Everybody has a different idea about success. You might define success as having a loving family and being surrounded by good friends. For some people, being successful means that they have achieved a high status or received accolades for their work. For others, success means earning a lot of money and being wealthy. Regardless of how you define it, it is unlikely that you are the only person in your environment that has an opinion about what success really means. And, once again, your (and everyone else’s) definition of success comes down to your mental script and the subconscious knowns that created it.

     John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind explains how a person’s early-life experiences create the subconscious knowns that form the foundation of his or her life script. Our understanding and experience of success is created the same way. The founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute explained how, from a very early age, we associate a literal or metaphoric value to specific events that occur during our lifetime. Perhaps we are lavished with verbal praise and profuse expression of affection from a parent or caregiver when we do well, or we are given a monetary reward for earning good grades at school. Over time, we create an association between that thing we did well (or poorly) and other people’s response to that behavior. We also learn to associate our own feelings (pride, shame) about that performance and people’s response to what we have done. Furthermore, as we create an intrinsic association between our valuation of success and failure, and reward and consequences, we also develop expectations about how other people should value that kind of performance. Our self-confidence and self-esteem may even take a hit when other people do not acknowledge the quality of our work. 

     Regardless of the way you consciously evaluate, describe and categorize success, your subconscious mind has troves of associations between your idea of it and how it physically, emotionally and even spiritually feels to “succeed.” Even if you have recently experienced myriad financial setbacks, if your known association of success means having a good job and earning a high salary, your subconscious mind is primed to seek and recognize an opportunity to have that, again. If your idea of success is to have a loving relationship and fulfilling family life, trust your subconscious “knowns” of this experience to attract this for you again. However, if your subconscious life script isn’t consistent with your goals, dreams or expectations, maybe it is time to rewrite that script. Changing your strategy for achieving your goals does not mean you have succeeded any less. Rather, you have probably scored a greater achievement for recognizing something wasn’t working and making appropriate adjustments to make your dream come true. Going back to Former British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli’s sage advice, the secret to success—whatever your definition of it may be—is to always be looking for and ready to take a good opportunity when it is presented. The outcome may be even better than the one you originally imagined.

               

               

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/