Wednesday, May 21, 2014

When Respect Equals Love, Part 1


                If you ride and/or work with horses, you probably understand what I mean when I say that the relationship humans share with their equine partner(s) is one of the most intense experiences you may ever share with another being. We admire the power, beauty and freedom that horses represent; we want to ride the so we can know how it feels to fly without wings. We are infatuated with the myths and stories about those equine ambassadors that showed apparent loyalty to their humans, and we want to experience that kind of devotion in our lives. Unlike the dogs, cats and other small domesticated animals with whom we share our lives and homes, horses are large, powerful animals that could literally kill us at any time and without even meaning to.

                The irony of this relationship is that these big animals can seem and even be so vulnerable. Humans are predatory animals while horses are prey for many species. Feral or wild horses have no problem fending for themselves, but we tend to lavish the domesticated members of this species with food (and treats), shelter, veterinary and farrier care, and our unrequited love. Many people know what it is like to spend long hours nursing a horse back to health after it suffers a bout of colic or has a serious training injury. Is there anything as sweet as the relief we feel when we know that the animal will survive? We regard our horses as our four-legged kids. We address them with terms of endearment such as baby or sweetheart and speak in low, placating voices as if we are soothing a human child. But this kind of extreme treatment—coddling—can be lethal.

                In his Theory of Mind, John Kappas, Ph.D. described the development of the subconscious and conscious mind from the “primitive mind,” an area of the mind where the fight/flight response or survival instinct resides. Whenever you are in a trance state—whether you are deeply engrossed in a video game you are playing—or during a hypnotherapy session, you have actually “escaped” into hypnosis because the conscious mind is overwhelmed by outside stimuli. Hypnosis is your safe haven. Conversely, horses literally flee when they feel threatened. The most powerful thing that could stop this flight is the presence of a respected herd leader that commands the direction and speed with which the other animal(s) in the herd move. Since horses weigh ten times that of an average man, the safest thing in the human-equine partnership is for the person to be that leader. Unfortunately, this is an ideal and not necessarily a true hierarchy in many of these relationships.

                Your horse will not listen or respond to your vocal or body aids unless it respects you as the leader of your herd and trusts that you can and will provide security and protection from danger. This respect includes recognizing that you, like your equine, expects to have a safe perimeter of personal space in which the other horse(s) in the herd can intrude without an invitation, or else there will be consequences. If you watch a herd of horses interacting in a pasture, you will notice how one of the animals seems to control where each one of its herd-mates is grazing. If the lead horse wants to be in the spot occupied by another horse, he or she will move the other animal out of the way, starting with body language such as pinning its ears to physically pushing, biting or chasing the other horse away. More often than not, a subordinate horse knows that it needs to get out of the way when the other animal shows up to avoid a physical altercation. Every horse knows this drill from the time it is a foal, no matter what its rank in the herd. Furthermore, even in your herd of two, your horse will have no compunction about reminding you where you “belong” if he or she doesn’t respect you as that leader.

                Whether your horse invades your personal space, tries (or succeeds) to bite you, refuses to move off of your leg or vocal command, or other tries and to dominate you in any other way, it is clear that he or she does not respect you as a leader. Even the 900 to 1,300 pound “baby” that you love so much will run right over you to escape from any real or imagined threat if it doesn’t respect you and the space you are standing in or the sensation of your weight on its back. No matter how you spell the love you feel for your horse, this word is spelled r-e-s-p-e-c-t in your equine partner’s dictionary.

                By the way, your horse needs your respect, too—perhaps more than he or she wants or needs your love. I will describe some practical techniques to earn and reinforce a respectful relationship with your horse in the next blog.

 

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

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