Thursday, May 22, 2014

When Respect Equals Love, Part 2

 

                Over the centuries, humans have shared a very complicated relationship with horses. On the one hand, these animals have served us as beasts of burden, mechanisms of war and even sources of food. On the other, horses are revered as symbols of freedom, excitement and nobility. Some people make their living working with and on the back of a horse; others say that just having horses in their lives makes life that much better. Many equestrians consider their horse(s) to be their equine partners, but this metaphor works only when people understand that our horses first perceive us as the predator that sits on and directs their movement. Whenever we handle horses on the ground or on their back, it doesn’t matter how much we love them if they don’t respect us; but we need to respect them, too.

                I discussed the components of a successful relationship in my February 14, 2014 blog, “Keys to a Successful Relationship.” You will have noticed that “love” is not on that list, at all; but “respect” is. We can show our respect to someone in various ways, from listening without interruption to what the other person is saying, to deferring to the advice of someone who has more experience than we do. We show respect by celebrating the ways a person is similar and different to ourselves without trying to force that individual to change or adopt our beliefs or opinions when we disagree. We are suggestible to our partner’s beliefs, attitudes and behaviors; but that partner is also suggestible to us. So, what does all that mean when your partner weighs 1,000 pounds and can run 25 to 40 miles per hour? It should mean: a lot.

                Horses have survived through the millennia because they know how to adapt to their environment and make their circumstances work for them. They rely on their herd-mates to help defend from danger, especially, the horse in the leadership or “alpha” role. Horses know that a good alpha is one that not only protects the herd from outside threats but also treats each member with fairness. The alpha tells the rest of the herd where and when to go or stop. The other horses will follow this animal, but only so long as that lead horse continues to deserve their respect. They treat their human leader the same way.

                Following are some practical techniques to help you earn and reinforce a respectful relationship with your horse. Before you use or practice these suggestions, please consult with a professional horse trainer and/or your riding instructor to ensure that they will be effective and safe for you to do.

·         Protect your personal space. Clinton Anderson of Downunder Horsemanship® advises his students to imagine that they are standing in the middle of a hula hoop, and their horse cannot get any closer to them than the perimeter of that hoop. If the horse tries to move in on you, correct this intrusion right away by sending him or her further away again. Remember that when you are leading your horse, the safest position for you is beside your horse, with his head/nose at your shoulder. Horses cannot see what is directly in front or behind them, and you are at risk of being run over if your horse is following directly behind you.

·         Be in charge. Clinton Anderson warns, “Whoever moves his feet first, loses.” If your horse is dancing around on the cross-ties and you have to constantly adjust your position to avoid him stepping on you, he is in control. Practice groundwork exercises to keep your horse moving when and in the direction you want him or her to go. Work your horse on a lunge-line and make the animal practice up and down transitions through each of the gaits. The purpose of these exercises is to teach your horse that you are in control of where, when and how fast his feet are going to move.

·         Be consistent. Reward good behavior and correct misbehavior every time it happens. Rewards don’t have to be treats; they can be a pat on the neck or shoulder with copious verbal praise, releasing tension in the reins so the horse can drop its head and stretch, etc. A correction for misbehavior might be a verbal reprimand and making the training session last longer and/or more intensive. Repeat these actions every time your horse does what you ask to create an association in the animal’s mind that you say what you mean and mean what you say (physical suggestibility). The more times you consistently reinforce this association, the more your horse will trust you because it will know what kind of reaction to expect from you in response to his or her behavior.

·         Be fair. If your horse seems to be having a tough time understanding what you want and/or are asking him or her to do, do a quick mental check to make sure you are correctly asking for what you want. It is too easy to blame our horse when something goes wrong in our training, but the mistake is often “pilot” (rider) error. You may discover that your equine partner is actually doing exactly what you are asking for, but you are not asking what you wanted to know. If your horse is having trouble understanding or doing what you are asking, consider asking for that movement in a different way. Work on another technique that your horse already knows how to do and practice that to increase his or her confidence and then try the movement again. You will probably find that you and your horse will benefit from doing something else for a little while and the new work will make more sense to both of you.

·         Be generous. Horseman Chris Cox regularly gives his horses a few minutes to stand still and “soak in” or think about a lesson or instruction that they had just been working on. In so doing, the horse gets a short break from its work (a reward) and can associate the release in pressure from the reins and legs with doing a good job. When your horse has performed a movement well or you have had a good schooling session, reward him with praise, a walk break or even stopping the day’s training session a little earlier than you planned.

                I am not a riding instructor, and I encourage everyone to consult with a trainer or instructor to resolve riding and horse-related issues. For more information about my hypnotherapy work with equestrians, please contact me via my website at www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com.

 

 

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

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