Traditions...It's All in the Family

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

                Most of us have traditions. Perhaps you always take your kids to spend a couple of weeks at the beach each summer. Maybe your mom serves stuffing according to her grandma’s recipe at every Thanksgiving feast. Many people participate in individual or team sports, and enjoy watching these activities on television after a holiday meal (e.g., football games on Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day). I know several people who share the same profession as their parents and even grandparents. Have you ever wondered why these behaviors are repeated? I have. My answer: Theory of Mind.

                Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D. stated that the subconscious part of the mind likes and wants to do what is familiar (known) because familiarity represents “safety” and comfort. He proposed that human behavior is based on the subconscious mental scripts that we create during early childhood, whereby the SCM is accumulating and storing various message units that will ultimately comprise the subconscious life script. Each message is ultimately categorized as a positive (pleasure) or negative (pain) experience, and anything that the subconscious mind does not recognize falls under the category of “pain.” Consequently, the SCM often resists doing anything new or different even when the logic, reason, will-power/free-will and reasoning faculties of the conscious mind says that it’s okay (safe) to do so. We repeat certain behaviors and/or continue to hold particular beliefs that we already know because these are familiar and comfortable or even convenient to perpetuate. These behaviors are the basis of Dr. Kappas’s Theory of Mind.

I know, I know. I make at least a passing reference to this concept in virtually every one of my blogs, but that is because I find examples of it in virtually everything I do and/or observe. The premise of this model is so simple, so logical: observe a behavior, learn and repeat that action and finally model/teach it to someone else. Traditions are a great example of this pattern. For example, imagine you learned—probably from a very young age—that your mom’s grandmother’s recipe for Thanksgiving stuffing is the very best ever. As a child of four or five you probably didn’t have an opportunity to try other people’s version of this dish. However, the people in your environment kept praising it—especially Mom, who was likely your primary caretaker and to whom you are particularly suggestible—and you adopted that belief as your own. You know that one day you will prepare that dish at Thanksgiving to carry on your mother’s grandmother’s holiday tradition.

Or, when it came time to think about getting a career you found yourself gravitating to a similar vocation as one or both of your parents. I have several friends who ultimately became a teacher like their parents. Another friend’s spouse is a law-enforcement officer, as are this person’s father-in-law and a couple of uncles. I love to spend time and vacation in the mountains because when I was a very little girl, my family used to spend a couple of weeks at a property near Big Bear every summer. I have very happy memories (positive knowns) of that environment and would love to spend more time there or someplace like it. And speaking of sports, not only are brothers Peyton Manning and Eli Manning quarterback football players on NFL teams, their dad, Archie Manning, is a former NFL quarterback, too!

Consider your “traditions” for a moment. What things do you do day in and day out without much thought? Do you know where, when, why and how they came about? The answer(s) may surprise you.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

It's All in How You Say It

 
                When I create hypnotic scripts for a client, I take great care to include words and phrases that have positive intention and positive action. I do this so the person’s subconscious mind will understand, accept and process the positive energy in his or her therapeutic goals.

                For example, if a person comes to me for help losing weight, the first thing I do is help to reframe this goal in a more positive-action perspective. Even though the client wants to “lose” weight, this word is loaded with the implication that the SCM needs to “find” it somewhere—typically, by reverting to unwanted behaviors that he or she is trying to change. To avoid this, I will help the person rephrase the goal to express shedding the extra pounds, such as: “dropping (the number of) pounds,” “getting down to (the goal weight),” etc. These are just examples of alternative expressions to state this goal; the important thing is for the client to choose word(s) or phrases that most resonate with his or her ultimate goal.

                Another phrase I help my clients to replace is “try to.” My reasoning for this is simple: the word try is actually an inert (not moving) verb. Remember the scene in The Empire Strikes Back in which Luke Skywalker begins his training to become a Jedi Knight? When he says that he will try to accomplish the task that the Jedi Master has set for him, Yoda is not impressed with the young warrior’s response: “Try not. Do or do not. There is no ‘try.’” Performing a behavior is action; even if you are not 100 percent successful when you do it the first, second or even third time, you are still doing it. Conversely, the word “try” is ambivalent. It implies indifference, acting without focus to achieve the desired outcome of the task: success.

                The other word I avoid using in hypnotic scripts is “not.” The subconscious mind does not recognize negative qualifiers in our thoughts. It is as if the words “not,” “no” and “won’t” are nonexistent. For example, a few years ago I told myself that I would not fall off of my horse at the beginning of a ride. Guess what? That is exactly what I did do, because all my mind saw/heard/understood was “I will fall off of my horse.” These days, I repeat the following mantra: “I am secure in the saddle and I will enjoy a fun and relaxing ride.”

To help motivate my clients to pursue their vocational and avocational self-improvement goals, I incorporate visualization in the hypnotic script so they can feel what it is like to achieve that success. Guided imagery works well as a therapeutic modality because the subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality. If you imagine that you are doing something, it is no different from actually doing (and accomplishing) that task. When you imagine that you are improving a skill and succeeding at a task, your subconscious mind is already primed and prepared to help you realize your goal because it believes you already have.

 

                  

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

 

In Honor of My Mother

(This blog was originally posted on May 11, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

                There is no one in the world like a mother. Today, I would like to tell you about mine.

                When I think about my mother, I am in awe. I marvel at the things she has accomplished in her life, the challenges she has overcome and the joy she brings to my life. I am inspired by everything she is as a woman and as a mother. She is my biggest champion and my loudest cheerleader. She is always there to provide a warm, comforting shoulder to cry on or to deliver the pointed pep talk to motivate me when I need it. Her love always makes me feel protected, supported and secure.

                My mother imparts her wisdom and love in the small and in the big things she does. She prepares meals when she is tired. She smiles when she is sad. She forgives when she is hurt. When I don’t feel well, she is the first person to check on me to make sure I am drinking enough fluids and getting enough rest. If I want or need something, more often than not she surprises me with that desired object weeks or months later. By then, I have often forgotten that I even mentioned wanting or pointing it out to her, which makes her present even more special to me.

                My mother is my greatest confidant, my very best friend. She is one of the few people with whom I can sit in comfortable silence and just be in the moment. She is someone I can laugh with about the goings-on in one of our favorite television shows, compare favorite recipes and discuss the heavy issues we see or hear about in the news. She shows me by example how to give love and respect the people I care about. She has taught and continues to teach me so much about life by just watching her live hers.

                To my most beloved mother… I love you!

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Something New in Something Familiar

                While I sorting laundry from the drier this evening, I suddenly noticed that I had never noticed the color of the “eyes” of the wolf faces on one of my favorite pairs of socks. I don’t just mean that I had never noticed that they were yellow (amber). I had never noticed that there was a color in the first place! All the time I had owned and the many occasions I wore the socks I just assumed—or presumed; whatever—that the eyes were a version of the black and white motif as the rest of the animal’s face. Of course, it is completely likely that my subconscious mind just filled in the color for me. After all, as one of my favorite species of animals, I know that their eyes are generally amber. In addition to the many documentaries I have watched and books I have read about them, the sight of a wolf’s piercing yellow eyes peering from behind a tree or glowing from the shadows is iconic Hollywood imagery. It is just interesting to me that my conscious mind didn’t register this obvious detail on clothing that I wear almost every week.

 

 

As I explained in my previous blog titled “Fire Hydrants”, once the SCM has ruled out that specific objects or sensory data are not a threat to our well-being it simply “tunes out” that information from our conscious awareness. After repeated exposure to that stimulus, it becomes a known in the subconscious mind: comfortable and even “safe” in its familiarity. There is no reason for the critical awareness part of our mind to reject this information and raise a metaphoric red flag that something new and unknown is nearby. This kind of selective awareness is actually crucial to our long-term survival. If this process didn’t occur we would be quickly, completely overwhelmed by having to actively notice details about and respond to every sensation we perceive. In no time at all, this information overload would send us into a constant, perpetual state of hypnosis every waking moment. I mean, can you imagine noticing that scratchy sensation of that garment-instruction label sewn into your shirt whenever you put on that garment? How irritating would that be?

                I don’t know what caught my attention about this detail in the design of those socks tonight. Perhaps my subconscious mind wanted to encourage me to draw on some of the energy and qualities I admire in the wolf to achieve greater balance in my own life. Maybe my SCM was just sending me a gentle reminder that I need to take more time to keep noticing the small (yet significant) details about the important people and objects in my environment. Or, it could be that noticing this detail for the first time was just a way for something known, comfortable and familiar to be like new again.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

Hypnosis, Mind Control and The Vampire Diaries

 

 

                One of the most prevalent myths and misconceptions about hypnosis is that it is a form of mind control. This notion is so widespread that several popular books, films and television series have included storylines wherein a character is hypnotized to do something dangerous, illegal and likely detrimental to his or her survival. Cases in point: the use of “compulsion” in L.J. Smith’s young-adult novels and popular CW television series, The Vampire Diaries.

                First, let me reassure you that you cannot be made to say or do anything in hypnosis that you would not say or do when you are in a wide-awake, alert state. If your subconscious mind does not “agree” with the hypnotic suggestion, you simply would not do it. Furthermore, as a certified hypnotherapist I would not ask you to do anything that goes against your moral and ethical standards. Needless to say, it would also be unethical for me to ask you to do so.

Having said that… I find the concept of compulsion in the context of The Vampire Diaries absolutely fascinating. In my January 16, 2014 blog titled Gullibility, Suggestibility, Hypnosis I describe how a person can induce a trance state in another person and induce him or her to behave in a certain way. The process by which the vampires get their victims to act in a certain way—usually, to stay still and “don’t scream” before an attack—is practically a textbook example of how this kind of hypnotic induction works. This is why:

·         They have authority. If you are familiar with the series, you know that in addition to their myriad supernatural abilities, Stefan and Damon Salvatore and other vampires in question are charismatic, charming and, of course, very good looking. They literally command an audience when they enter a room. If you are (un)lucky enough to make direct eye contact with one of them and you do not know their true identity, you will be suggestible to their confidence, charisma and physical attractiveness. If you do know that they are vampires, your natural fear about how the encounter might end will induce its own kind of trance. Either way, you will not only will you be told what to do and when to do it, you will be helpless to resist the command.

 

·         They have a message. That message can be about almost anything, although it is usually an instruction to the unwitting victim that he or she must perform a specific task that will help conceal the vampire’s true identity in the community. Of course, the content of that message is inconsequential for the above reason(s).

 

·         They overload the person’s subconscious mind to accept the message without question. In this case, the vampire locks eyes with the intended victim and gives the instruction (compulsion) in a whisper or hushed voice. By this point, the person’s subconscious mind truly is overwhelmed by the monster’s charm, strength and powers of persuasion that the individual is willing to do as he or she has been instructed.

Whenever I watch The Vampire Diaries I must suspend my disbelief about how the characters use hypnosis—as well as my own experience of how hypnosis really works—so I can just enjoy the “fantastic” elements of the story. Remember, you would not behave that way because someone else told you to while you are hypnotized unless you would do these things or hold a specific belief when you are in an alert and aware state. Having said that, the next time a barista overwhelms you with so many options about beverage-cup sizes and pastries to accompany your quadruple latte that you actually purchase a croissant you never planned on buying, you were probably hypnotized.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Medical Crisis Overload

 

I spend a lot of time observing human behavior in the context of how my hypnotherapy clients behave and interact with others and deal with crises that occur in their environment. Recently, concern about contracting a devastating illness such as Ebola or Human Enterovirus-68 has been distracting and distressing a lot of people. It is interesting to me that while the likelihood of contracting Human Enterovirus-68 is a more immediate “threat” for citizens in the United States, there is greater concern about Ebola.

Indeed, the recent news that a Liberian man who was visiting his fiancée in Texas had to be admitted into a Texas hospital with this diagnosis has overwhelmed and terrified a lot of people. It was one thing when several American aid workers contracted the disease overseas and were brought home for treatment. But the idea that someone could and actually did bring a deadly and contagious disease into the United States, well, that dose of reality has been hard to process. Meanwhile, as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention outline strategies to contain the disease and manage/treat it, questions and anxiety-levels remain high. So, too, is the potential for heightened suggestibility that could induce a trance-like state and possibly hinder our ability to identify and respond to an actual (versus a perceived) health threat.

According to John Kappas, Ph.D., hypnosis occurs when message units overwhelm and disorganize our critical mind, which trigger the fight-flight response and triggers a hyper-suggestible state that provides access to the subconscious mind. For example, constant bombardment of information about the lethal nature and symptoms of this disease, plus statistics about how it can (and cannot) be transmitted, increases our anxiety and intensifies our suggestible state. The fact that contraction of Ebola is “unknown” in America and few people here have a subconscious mental script for dealing with it makes the disease seem all the more frightening. Meanwhile, Enterovirus-68 can and has been lethal in several cases but people seem better able to deal with and even accept those symptoms. Perhaps people’s comparative acceptance of that virus stems from the fact that it manifests like a common chest infection—a subconscious known which most people survive—and isn’t accompanied by excessive bleeding, the disturbing symptom for which Ebola is known.

According to the CDC, you must have direct contact with bodily fluids of someone who has the disease to get sick. If you believe that you have had such contact and are experiencing symptoms of the disease, seek medical help immediately to verify and treat the illness or rule it out as a diagnosis. If you continue to feel overwhelmed with anxiety about your likelihood of contracting it, follow CDC recommendations and advice about how to protect yourself from Ebola. I also recommend that you “count yourself out” of the hyper-suggestible state of anxiety whenever you notice that you are or have become preoccupied about becoming ill. To do this, say to yourself: “One, two, three, four, five, eyes open [say your name], wide awake and no longer in a suggestible state.”

As a certified hypnotherapist, it is out of my scope of expertise to diagnose an illness or to recognize/identify specific symptoms that have a psychological or physiological basis. Therefore, I do and will refer clients to an appropriate licensed medical or psychology professional to determine the cause and/or treat that specific physical symptom that. However, once this other expert has ruled out a medical etiology of your symptom, with a follow-up referral from that licensed professional, I can continue to work with you in hypnotherapy, which can provide complementary therapeutic benefits and help to alleviate and/or control these symptoms and help you to pursue and achieve your vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Notes From the Universe

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

                As I explained in my last blog titled “While My Computer Was at the Spa,” I had to take my computer in to get some viruses removed from the hard drive and update some other software. Unable to write my daily blog or even watch a class in the hypnotherapy course I am taking, I had plenty of time to think how I could best use all that “free” (ahem) time. It was still frustrating to not be able to use my computer at all, but I have no doubt that my hypnotherapy training helped me stay calm and even relaxed about the inconvenience.

Having said that, I was not surprised to notice that the first post I saw on my Facebook feed when I was finally able to log on was the following quote: “Patience is the key to paradise,” a Turkish proverb. Hmm… Was the universe trying to tell me something? Probably.

 

It was like a light bulb turned on in my mind. As I scrolled through my account, I found more related and inspiring quotes. The following philosophies helped to give me a new perspective on my situation. I hope you find them helpful, as well.

 

 “Adopt the pace of nature. Her secret is patience.” – Unknown

“Wherever you stand, be the soul of that place.” – Rumi

“When you forgive, you don’t change the past. You change the future!” – healinglightonline.com

“Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don’t have to sit on it.” – 95.1 Shine FM

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget everything and run’ or ‘Face everything and rise.’ The choice is yours.” – Zig Ziglar

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“Keep calm and Hakuna Matada!” – The Glitter Fairy

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014