(Don't Start) Thinking About Tomorrow

I am continuing to suspend in-person hypnotherapy sessions with me in my office. However, phone, and Zoom consultations ARE and WILL REMAIN AVAILABLE! 

 

 

(This blog was originally posted on August 22, 2014)

 

Photo by Sara R. Fogan, C,Ht.

  

     One of the most important things we can do for our mental and emotional well-being is to allow ourselves to relax. I know, I know. That is easier said than done, especially on a Sunday night, because, well, tomorrow is Monday. Indeed, sometimes it feels like all of Sunday isn’t even part of the weekend, let alone a day of rest, because it has morphed into a day of preparation for Monday. It’s when we rush to put the finishing touches on homework assignments or projects for work and start psyching ourselves up for the grind of the week ahead. Furthermore, the more we think about the deadlines that are coming up, the social events or school activities that we “must” attend next week, or the rush-hour traffic we will have to negotiate early tomorrow morning, the more anxious we become. It’s enough to ruin the weekend, but only if we let it. Here are some suggestions to help you relax and enjoy the day:

• Before you leave work, etc. on Friday, make a contract with yourself to not bring/do work at home; or, if you know that you must work on a project, that you will reserve some time between Friday evening and Sunday evening to relax and unwind.

• Use imagery to visualize, picture or pretend that you are able to relax and enjoy the rest and relaxation that you deserve this weekend.

• During this “Me Time,” just do what you want whether that is sleeping in, participating in a sport or hobby or even doing nothing at all.

• Turn your activities into opportunities for moving meditation. In other words, focus only on what you are doing at that moment. If/when you notice that you are actively thinking and worrying about work or school, draw a couple of deep breaths and center your attention back on you and what you are doing right now. Whether you are cuddling your spouse, playing fetch with your dog or watching a movie with your kids, you will be able to enjoy whatever you are doing right now if that activity is occupying your full attention.

• Use or recite affirmations that support your decision to relax and to think only about the present (i.e., what you are doing right now.)

• Before you go to bed, make a mental or literal checklist to confirm that you are prepared to deal with tomorrow’s challenges. For example, is your mobile phone charged or charging? Are your completed home-work assignments in your backpack? Is the project you completed for work in your briefcase? Once you have verified that everything is okay, you can sleep quickly, soundly and deeply and know that you are in the perfect place to enjoy a successful, productive week.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. Sara has been voted the Best Hypnotherapist in Santa Clarita, California, four years in a row (2019-2022). For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2023

 

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be.” – Lolly Daskal

• “If you don’t love yourself, you will always be chasing after people who don’t love you, either.” – Mandy Hale

• “Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” – Dalai Lama

• “Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind.” – Buddha

• “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

• "You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level." – Eckhart Tolle

• “Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people—the ones who really belong in your life—will come to you. And stay.” – Will Smith

• “You're more likely to experience success if you are inspired by other people's victories instead of wasting time finding fault with them.” – Unknown

•  “Worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening; it just stops you from enjoying the good.” –   @911Well

• “A dream becomes a goal when action is taken toward its achievement.” – Bo Bennett 

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Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018

Utility of Worry

“Worry is like going around in circles with one foot nailed to the floor.”

– Women Who Do Too Much Day Calendar (February 11, 2015)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Worrying can seem like a very useful activity because it always gives us something to do. It is a way to stay (or just look) busy when our time is not otherwise occupied doing something else, like completing that task we keep putting off. As a writer of the philosophy for the January 1, 2015 page in the Women Who Do Too Much, page-a-day calendar wrote, “[Worry] is a great way to occupy and fill up our time.” 

Indeed, worrying is a great way to avoid actually facing a possible negative outcome to a project we started. For example, if we keep so busy fretting about how to actually accomplish “x” that we inadvertently somehow manage to miss our deadline or opportunity at least we won’t have to face the embarrassment of a possible failure. Right? Wrong.

Similarly, when we worry that a prospective romantic partner may not reciprocate our interest or feelings in a relationship we want to pursue, we often pile on so many negative thoughts about our self-worth to “prepare” ourselves for possible rejection. Instead of cushioning what we believe is an inevitable emotional blow such negative “chatter” more likely sets us up for disappointment. For one thing, we are more attractive to other people when we exude self-confidence and, yes, self-love: It’s as if we are sending out a beacon that says, “Of course I am loveable/desirable/interesting.” If nothing else, worrying that the other person might reject our romantic overtures can ultimately undermine the opportunity for creating a strong emotional connection with that person because fear has prevented us from making that initial contact.

While I was completing my hypnotherapy certification at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, one of my favorite instructors, the late Marc Gravelle often warned us about the perils of “toxic worry.” Basically, toxic worry is the trap (never-ending circle) of wondering “What if X happens…?” and then even worrying about being worried about that dilemma. And still, nothing gets solved or resolved except increased anxiety and distress. This training and my experiences as a hypnotherapist have taught me to re-adjust my attitude and expectations about situations that previously would have sucked me into that whirlpool of toxic worry. These days I can quickly activate the reasoning, logic, will-power and decision-making faculties in my conscious mind to determine whether I can do something productive to change or improve a challenging situation—and then take that positive action. If there isn’t an opportunity to make this kind of positive change, then I can choose to not worry about it and move on to something (or someone) that will offer an opportunity for positive self-growth that I desire. 

For more information about toxic worry, check out my blogs titled Toxic Worry and Hypnotherapy and a Different Perspective.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2018