First Impressions and Building Rapport

Photo by Rick Hustead

On Saturday afternoon, I wandered into a branch of MOD Pizza to check out their menu. I heard that their food is great but never eaten there. To be honest, I was initially put-off by its cafeteria-style ordering system. Sure, it was one thing to walk along a counter and see/point at what items you want on your sandwich at Subway®, but I wasn’t feeling very warm and fuzzy about this set-up to order pizza. Especially since I planned to place a phone order and pick it up on the way back from the barn later in the afternoon. Unlike other pizza menus I was familiar with, the various toppings were listed and the diner could just pick and choose the ones that looked good. The price was determined by size of the pie as opposed to what went on top. There were so many options and the print on the menu was so tiny to read while wearing my contact lenses that I decided I couldn’t be bothered. So I picked up a take-out menu for future reference and decided to leave. Then something amazing happened.

One of the servers behind the counter saw me turn to leave and wished me a great day. Even though I was obviously not going to buy one of their pizzas, she was cheerful and gracious. 

“Actually, I do have a question…” I said and headed back to the counter.

Within a minute (probably less), she sold me a pizza. I explained that I felt overwhelmed by all of the topping choices. I was already going into environmental hypnosis from the delicious aromas of the baking pizzas and the cornucopia of toppings available. The last thing I wanted was to have to consider the possible combinations of toppings when all I wanted was to order a medium-sized veggie pizza. Talk about experiencing the pain associated a subconscious unknown. 

 No problem, the server said. She reassured me that I could choose my toppings right then and call in the order about half an hour before I planned to pick it up. I could even wait to pay for it until I returned to pick my pizza up. 

As I left the restaurant I thought about the factors that sealed that sale, as it were. Again, the stimuli in the environment—smells, sights, sounds—definitely played a role because I was going into a light trance the minute I walked through the door. The server’s enthusiasm and interest in helping me to have a great experience at the restaurant was evident throughout my visit, which relaxed me and probably facilitated the original sale. In a final gesture of ultimate “people” and rapport-building skills, the happily chatted with me while I waited for the pizza to be boxed. We discussed the great special effects in San Andreas, which I planned to watch with a friend later, and the “fun” aspect of other movies starring Dwayne Johnson. I asked whether a custom pizza that one of the workers created and named after a manager—“The Salvatore—was a marketing strategy to tie in with The Vampire Diaries. By the time I left with my pizza, my mouth was watering and I knew I would be back for that “Salvatore” pizza.

Talk about a good first impression. And my first MOD Pizza experience was very good, too

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2016

Body Language

(This blog was originally posted on April 25, 2014)

 

 

                I am fascinated by a television advertisement for mobile (cell) phone services. In the ad, a group of potential customers puts a representative of a major, national phone company through her paces as they ask about various communications features that the company offers. Viewers are led to infer that the prospective customers are real-estate agents, because each of them is professionally rand sports a tan blazer with a large emblem of a house on the left side of the jacket. The group pretty much verifies the identity of their vocation when one of the women says, “Let’s close!” and they all cross their arms over their chest and grin. But it is what the customers and the sales representative say with their bodies throughout the ad that is of greatest interest to me.

                Throughout the ad, the phone-company representative matches every physical and facial gesture that her prospective clients make. As a customer’s voice lilts at the end of a question, the salesperson uses a similar lilt in her response. When one person points a finger to make a point, the sales rep makes the same movement during her explanation. Someone steeples her fingers across her midsection; the sales rep makes the same gesture. Another person in the group nods and raises her eyebrows; so does she. When the camera pans back a little, viewers can see that the sales rep has even adopted a similar stance as she stands with the customers. At the end of the advertisement when one of the customers crosses her arms and announces they will all take (“close”) the deal, her colleagues look at her and immediately imitate the crossed-arms gesture.

                I like this ad because it is such a fabulous demonstration of how people mirror someone’s behavior in order to build rapport with someone. If your job entails selling products or services, you probably recognized every sales technique depicted in the advertisement I just described. But you don’t have to be a salesperson or a customer to identify with what went on. We mirror each other’s various behaviors—facial expressions, physical gestures, patterns of speech—all the time, often without realizing that we are doing it. These actions are like a “fast track” to building rapport with someone you would like to get to know better. People are naturally attracted to others who behave or seem to think like they do.

Think about a conversation you have had recently: Did you nod at some point during the conversation or lean forward in your seat as if to listen to your companion’s words even more closely? And did your companion then lean his or her body closer to yours, return your nod or mirror a hand movement that you were previously unaware of having made? Did you notice when your spouse or friend took a step forward, backward or sideways to mirror your stance, or raised or lowered his or her voice to match the tone of yours? These are examples of mirroring; and mirroring is a subconscious (or conscious) behavior that creates rapport and can facilitate social bonds by reinforcing similarity or familiarity between you. Rapport is an inherent and necessary component of every kind of relationship; it is the cornerstone upon which every relationship is built. It is only when we establish rapport with someone are we likely to explore the similarities and differences between us, and know whether we want to spend the time and energy to create a social, romantic or professional relationship with that person. Without rapport, we cannot come to trust, respect, like or communicate well with him or her, and a relationship—or a successful sale—is unlikely to result from the interaction.

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014