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| Favory Alisa II, a Lipizzan stallion Photo by Sara Fogan |
My riding
instructor owns four stallions. Each horse is well-mannered and trained to go
under saddle and be handled on the ground. I have fed, clipped and groomed each
one of them. I feel comfortable working with them, and it is exciting for me
that I am able to do this because, well, they are stallions. Favory Alisa II (“Amadeus”), a Lipizzan, is not a
particularly tall horse, but he is very muscular. He literally oozes charisma, power and
attitude no matter what he is doing. Sometimes he goes up on his hind legs and
holds a levade (half-rear) for a few seconds, one of the haute école movements
for which the breed is famous at the Spanish Riding School. Yesterday I watched
him gallop around the turnout arena with his favorite toy, an orange traffic
cone, in his mouth. I admit he looked kind of silly doing that and I had to
smile. And yet, I know with 100 percent certainty that this is not a horse to
be messed with. The other horses on the property know it, too. As I watched Amadeus
play, my former trainer’s words echoed in my mind: “He is a stallion and he
knows it, and he deserves respect.”
That memory got
me thinking about respect in general and self-respect, in particular. Some individual’s
possess this quality in spades while others do not. I considered the difference
between how I would behave around the Warmblood stallion versus when I handle
my current trainers’ stallion. I decided it had to do with my own self-respect.
Ten years ago, I was more in awe and a little bit afraid of my former trainer's big bay stud to
even consider what I would do if he ever tried to disrespect me, because I never got close enough for
that to be an issue. In my mind, that horse was a symbol of all the power and
fiery temperament I imagined a stud must possess to be a stallion. The first
time I clipped one of my current trainer’s stallions, I had to get over myself
and my pre-conceptions about what a stallion really was (a horse) and, more important, what he was and was not allowed to get
away with in the context of working with and being around humans. It was a
simple arrangement and no different from the one I have with my own gelding: So
long as I was handling the stallion for whatever reason, he had to respect me
and my space.
Helping my
clients to respect themselves and increase their self-esteem is one of the most
important things I do in my hypnotherapy practice. Following are 10 things you can do to increase your self-esteem,
reclaim your self-respect and earn the respect of other people around you.
1.
Call someone out on the behavior if someone
insults you.
2.
Treat other people fairly and expect to receive
fair treatment in return.
3.
Hold a person accountable for his or her bad
behavior.
4.
Maintain separate own interests, etc. when you
are in an intimate relationship.
5.
Confront the issue or problem when a conflict
arises.
6.
Stand up to intimidation: Remember who you are!
7.
Stay true to yourself and remain consistent in
your opinions, beliefs, and attitudes about the things that matter to you.
8.
Set physical and emotional boundaries with other
people. Of course, people can get in to intimate areas of your life but only with your permission and at your
invitation.
9.
Ask for what you want.
10.
Let go of a situation that isn’t working out for
you or person who has rejected you.
For more information
about ways hypnotherapy and therapeutic guided imagery can help you increase self-respect
and self-esteem and change those negative thoughts and behaviors that may be
preventing positive self-growth, please contact me at (661) 433-9430.
Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in
Southern California. She graduated with honors from the
Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about
Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.
© 2015
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