Great Expectations

(A version of this blog was originally posted on January 31, 2014)

 

 

It is Friday night. Perhaps you have just completed your work week; or, maybe you just clocked in for the first of several night/closing shifts at one of your jobs. The promise of Saturday and Sunday—the weekend—looms large. Will you have time to complete all of those projects you promised your spouse that you would definitely, absolutely complete by Sunday night? Does the company you work for give its employees Labor Day off so you can enjoy a long weekend hanging out with your friends and family? Perhaps your boss refused to give you that day off, after all, and now you are bound and determined to remain in a foul mood all weekend so others can know how angry and frustrated you are. Or, are your friends and colleagues amazed that, yes, you are actually very happy to have to be working or on-call at work because you are thankful to have a job in the first place.

Believe it or not, your subconscious mind largely determines everything that you will do this weekend, from whether you will have the weekend “off” or will be at work. The “knowns” in your subconscious mind will influence whether you get together to celebrate the unofficial end of summer. Your subconscious mind influences whether you will make a genuine effort to fix the kitchen cabinets or ultimately postpone the project another week. Your subconscious mind influences which tasty tidbits you expect to be served at the annual Labor Day Block Party: you really don’t want to attend, but you just can’t resist Domino’s pizza and Buffalo wings combination and, anyway, it would look really bad if you are the only person from work who is a no-show.

Finally, the mental scripts, or “known” beliefs and behaviors, in your subconscious mind will determine how you react to everything that occurs this weekend. A rule in physics states: “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” Similarly, over the years you have learned that specific relationships exist between emotions about/reactions to a specific, related event: If my team wins a championship, I will be happy; if it loses, I will be sad/angry/etc. If I do my best, hard work to complete a project that I promised to do for my spouse, I will feel good about this work, my spouse will be happy and this task is over; if I do not complete this job, everyone will be angry and defensive. If you attend the block party and the food is as tasty and wonderful as you expected it to be, you might find that you will have a better time at the event than you expected; but if the host only provides chips and salsa (or any/every other dish other than the one you wanted), you will wish you never showed up in the first place.

This weekend, why not try something different to break this chain of expectations and behaviors? Before you start your shift at work or when you get home and kick off your shoes to relax on the sofa, or before you head out for that barbecue, take several slow, deep breaths. Visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you are doing “x” activity, and you feel relaxed and comfortable the entire time. You are focused on doing your very best at work or to complete a chore at home. You see yourself smiling and enjoying yourself as you socialize and with the people around you. Visualize, imagine, picture or pretend that you see yourself being polite and enjoying yourself with your neighbors. Since the subconscious cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality, allow this visualization exercise to create new “knowns” in your mind and become your new reality or experience.

I hope you have a great weekend!

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014