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Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Lying and Passive-Aggressive Behavior

(This blog was originally posted on November 28, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

Lying, losing syndrome, procrastination, the desire to control authority and a tendency to lose a job/get fired are all manifestations of passive-aggressive behavior, observed Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas Ph.D. and his colleague, psychiatrist Dr. Ron Hodges, M.D. Furthermore, a passive-aggressive person typically has very childlike, neurotic behavior, low-self-esteem, is not assertive and tends to be impulsive. This person also tells lies to control authority figures and avoid conflict with other people. The decision to tell the truth (or not) depends on how the person believes or expects the other party to react, Dr. Kappas explained. However, these deceptions usually only make the situation worse for the person.

“Sooner or later, lies catch up with you,” he said.

According to developmental psychologist Erik Erikson, passive-aggressive behavior typically begins between the ages of three and six years. This age span is categorized as the third, or play age/loco-motor stage of development, when the youngster is developing a sense of independence. At this age, a child is motivated to try new things and show initiative. However, if the parents/guardians discourage or even punish the child for asserting independence this way, he or she is likely to become angry, frustrated and/or guilty and behave in various ways to “punish” the parents, Dr. Kappas said.

However, it is the passive-aggressive person who typically suffers the consequences of this behavior. For example, a child may insist that he doesn’t have to use the toilet before going on a car trip and then wets his pants five minutes into the journey. In adulthood, this behavior may carry over so the person sabotages his career. If there are conflicts in a romantic relationship, the person may leave clues that she is having an affair so the partner deduces what is going on without her actually having to confess about the other relationship.

To help a client resolve such passive-aggressive behavior, Dr. Kappas recommended working to increase the person’s self-confidence and self-esteem. “The lying will decrease as confidence builds.” The next step is to expose and desensitize the person to different situations that could trigger the lying response. The hypnotherapist should also work with the client to be able to face people and diplomatically resolve conflicts, which will also reduce the urge to tell a lie, the HMI founder added.

It is important to construct a framework in which a client can cognitively, consciously identify and understand how and why he uses passive-aggressive behavior to deal with a conflict. In hypnosis, therapeutic techniques such as role-playing, hypnodrama or guided imagery can help identify, address and desensitize the person to various stimuli that trigger lying. (For example, have the client imagine talking to the boss to ask for a raise.) While the person is relaxed and in hypnosis, the hypnotherapist should give suggestions that replace the person’s negative/self-destructive behaviors (e.g., passive-aggression) with constructive beliefs about increased self-worth/self-confidence and positive behaviors (e.g., problem-solving skills).

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

The Relationship Between Low Blood-Sugar Level and Fear of Loud Noise

(This blog was originally posted on November 15, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

When you experience a drop in blood-sugar level, it is possible to mistake or attribute the environmental stimulus or event as causing any physiological distress you experience at that time. However, the confusion, headaches, tremors, cold sweats, increased anxiety, etc., are actually symptoms of low blood-sugar levels and not specific consequences of what is going on around you. For example, the late Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas PhD once worked with a client to help her overcome her fear of loud noises. He explained how nutrition can affect these levels; specifically, how low blood sugar can trigger the physical symptoms she had been experiencing. The hypnotherapist concluded that his client’s fear of loud noise was actually associated with agoraphobia (fear of open spaces), as her anxiety about this stimulus essentially kept her house-bound. Her extreme sensitivity to loud noise was exacerbated by her low blood-sugar level, which in turn strengthened her negative reaction to the noise. To treat her, Dr. Kappas recommended stabilizing the woman’s blood-sugar level through diet and used hypnosis to desensitize the client to loud noises.

Monday, December 4, 2017

The Practice Effect

(This blog was originally posted on November 30, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

In David Brin’s novel titled The Practice Effect, the most effective (and valued) tools and equipment are old and well-used. Here on Earth, a brand-new axe blade is sharp and gets the job done in one or two swings. Conversely, protagonist Dr. Dennis Nuel discovers that same new axe is useless on an anomaly planet he is exploring compared to a worn-out counterpart with a dull blade and grooves where the user’s hands would have held it.

I loved this book when I read it in 1984, and the concept of a “practice effect” continues to fascinate me in the context of how the mind works. As I explain to hypnotherapy clients who want to change a long-term habit, the more they do or “practice” this behavior the easier, more automatic and, yes, “effective” it becomes. For example, when you learned algebra the symbols and arithmetic required to solve an equation probably challenged every mathematical skill you had up to that point. However, with practice you may have advanced to geometry, trigonometry or even calculus; if nothing else, you can apply simple algebra to work out how much tip to leave at a restaurant. Just like the grooves in the worn axe handle in Brin’s novel, repeating familiar behaviors eventually creates a subconscious mental script that reinforces their importance and value to the subconscious mind. (This attachment to a behavior such as smoking or drug use/abuse will be even stronger with a physiological chemical addiction.*)

The perceived value of a familiar or “known” behavior comes from the comfort you derive from repeating and practicing this action. However, it is also why changing or stopping the behavior completely is so difficult. Remember, anything new or different (unfamiliar) is considered “pain” in the subconscious mind. It is almost as if you are starting all over again, having to learn a new or even re-learn a previous more effective “old” behavior. In many cases, you have to keep practicing that other, less comfortable but more desirable way of doing things over and over until it, too, has developed a “practice effect” that is ultimately more valuable than that old strategy.

*California law allows access by California residents to complementary and alternative health care practitioners who are not providing services that require medical training and credentials. The purpose of a program of hypnotherapy is for vocational and avocational self-improvement (Business and Professions Code 2908) and as alternative or complimentary treatment to healing arts services licensed by the state. A hypnotherapist is not a licensed physician or psychologist, and hypnotherapy services are not licensed by the state of California. Services are non-diagnostic and do not include the practice of medicine, neither should they be considered as a substitute for licensed medical or psychological services or procedures.