Defense Mechanisms: Projection Identification

(This blog was originally posted on September 22, 2014)

          Defense mechanisms are strategies to cope with a stressful situation in our lives. Furthermore, at some point in our lives almost everyone uses one to ameliorate an undesirable reaction to an unpleasant circumstance. However, these defense mechanisms provide us only a temporary perception of control over the environment. Eventually, we have to deal with and resolve the primary issue that has triggered the defense mechanism in order to achieve personal growth.

A common defense mechanism for handling a distressing situation is to direct our attention and project blame for our emotions about the stressful situation onto other people. For example, an individual may accuse a colleague of “hating” her for no reason when the accuser is the person who actually holds the negative feelings toward that other woman (projection). Or, a man who is tempted to be unfaithful in a relationship may suspect or even blame his spouse of infidelity (projection identification). Why go to these extremes and just admit the truth?

       These (and all other) defense mechanisms share four common traits: 1) they are unconscious; 2) they are self-deceptive; 3) they contain elements of denial; 4) they distort reality through thoughts and action. Their primarily role is to protect the subconscious mind from what it perceives as a threat or “pain.” In this case, the pain would be caused by our peers negatively judging our attitudes or behavior that contradicts acceptable beliefs or behaviors: e.g., unethical behavior or unacceptable feelings toward others. Rather than risk this negative response, accusing someone else of engaging in the undesirable behavior not only protects us but may even attract further (and deeper) acceptance and support from our social group.

      According to John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind, we are all subconsciously motivated to maintain and/or restore a known physical and emotional status of comfort and security. In this case, social acceptance represents pleasure, whereas criticism and potential rejection from our peers are pain. Since the subconscious mind is motivated and even programmed to seek the pleasure stimuli, we may adopt these defense mechanisms to literally “defend” against potential social rejection (pain). By creating an imagined scenario such as perceived persecution by a peer or spousal infidelity, the SCM enables us to railing against an imagined threat to help control the unwanted emotions we feel at that moment.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

Hypnotherapy and a Different Perspective

(This blog was originally posted on September 19, 2014)

 

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

Just about this time last year, the local news reported that a white cobra was loose in a neighborhood in Thousand Oaks, California. Residents responded to this information in various ways. Many were understandably frightened by the prospect of having an exotic, venomous snake potentially slithering around their property and told reporters that they would secure their livestock in barns and keep domestic pets inside until it was caught. Others seemed to take a more measured approach, explaining how they would continue to live their lives as usual but would avoid areas where the snake was last seen or biologists warned it might hide. Another person (or persons) even went to social media and created a Twitter account for the cobra so the snake could post updates on its whereabouts and, presumably, add some levity to a very tense situation.

I was surprised that my reaction to the news that a cobra was loose in a local neighborhood was one of curiosity rather than terror. If I lived anywhere near where the snake had been spotted or if I kept my horse out there, I probably would have been beside myself with anxiety and concern. My subconscious mental script was already familiar with the idea that venomous snakes live in Southern California: anyone who owns or rides horses here knows to be on the lookout for rattlesnakes hiding in a hay barn or slithering across the path on a trail. Of course, the idea of a lethal exotic (and comparatively rare) snake slithering around a suburban neighborhood is a different story.

But ever since I earned my hypnotherapy certification in 2005, my attitude and expectations about various situations I have encountered during my life have changed. As soon as I heard about the loose cobra, I was quickly able to activate the reasoning, logic, will-power and decision-making faculties in my conscious mind to determine whether I or anyone I knew was in immediate danger: No. Even if I had been, past experience dealing with animal control and law-enforcement officers reassured me that these professionals were trained to deal with various threats, including unexpected ones posed by wild animals that the average citizens probably never consider. I was confident that I could have put my trust and faith in their recommendations to keep myself and my animals out of its way until it was caught. Also, I trusted that the survival instinct in my (and just about every other person’s) subconscious mind was strong enough to avoid unnecessary risk and avoid areas where I knew/heard the animal had last been seen or was likely to hide.

Something else helped me take a more measured perspective about the possible danger posed by that cobra.  I knew various mental tools with which I could re-frame what I initially believed to be a no-win situation and turn it into an opportunity to learn something new: i.e., look up information about the biology and natural habitat of cobras. That kind of lesson would be far more beneficial for me than indulging in toxic worry about a situation over which I and most of the residents of that Thousand Oaks neighborhood had little control.

Fortunately, the snake was safely caught and removed from that community the next day and no humans or animals were victims of its lethal bite. Another positive thing to come out of this situation is that everyone who was affected by this experience now has a new “known” in his or her repertoire of mental scripts. While it is unlikely any Southern California residents will have to deal with another cobra loitering by their swimming pool, if this scenario is ever repeated, we will have some idea what to expect and how to handle the situation.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2015

 

Is It Halloween, Already?

(This blog was originally posted on July 28, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

What is the clearest indication that time—and the year—is really is flying by? When catalogs for school clothing, Halloween decorations/costumes and Christmas gifts start to arrive! But that begs two questions: Where has the year gone in the first place? And why are we in such a rush for the next season to arrive when we’re barely in the middle of the current one? It’s still September (albeit, barely)! When did the world start moving so quickly that it wasn’t enough to live in the moment and enjoy (or deal with) whatever is going on in our lives right now? Doesn’t anyone take time to smell the roses anymore?

Time passes no matter what we are doing—or not. Adults notice that time seems to move much more quickly than we remember it doing when we were young children or teenagers. But that is just a perception, not reality. The more activities we have to do and the more responsibilities we have to fulfill, the more message units bombard and even overload our conscious minds. One common and very natural product of this mental overload is “hypnosis.” We are aware of our surroundings as we go about our day-to-day activities and fulfill our responsibilities. However, a very common characteristic of this state is varying degrees of amnesia and/or time-distortion; we don’t necessarily remember every detail of those days which contributes to the illusion of time rushing by or seeming to stand still.

Other than signs in nature that the seasons are changing—hot summer temperatures followed by changing colors of the foliage—the arrival of holiday catalogs is one of the most significant indicators that time is flying by. I understand why vendors send catalogs to promote their wares and attract their customers’ attention about upcoming products. However, it seems like they are arriving in our regular or electronic mailboxes earlier and earlier, typically with several months until the holiday actually arrives. Am I the only one who loses interest and even feels burned-out looking at, seeing and reading advertisement for Jack ’o Lanterns and winter clothing starting from the middle of July?

Whether you are consciously aware of this or not, these catalogs and their associated promotions induce stress:  Should I buy this item now or wait until it goes on sale? What if the company sells out of it before I have a change to order it? What if so-and-so doesn’t like the gift I selected? The merchant is ostensibly promoting a product that you, the customer, wants/needs/may enjoy and improve the holiday celebration; however, their goal is ultimately to persuade you to make a purchase. The shiny paper, energetic product descriptions and “special deal” marketed in the catalog facilitates those sales by overloading the readers’ subconscious mind and, yes, increasing their suggestibility to buy one or several of those items.

Om.

I can’t turn back the clock to a time when I was younger and the days rolled leisurely by without a care in the world. However, my hypnotherapy training has helped me learn how to relax and slow waaaaay down so I don’t keep rushing mindlessly from event to event during the year. I am more aware of the ways my body benefits from being physically relaxed so I can focus on what I want to do. This relaxed state and increased awareness enables me to effectively resist the temptation of purchasing items I do not need or want while opening my senses to the timeless beauty of the changing seasons. I want to enjoy and celebrate the beauty and bounty that every day has to offer, not just days that the economy and major retail stores dictate are more important or deserve more attention than others. Furthermore, when every day is precious, I am happy to wait to celebrate a holiday until the actual date rolls around on the calendar 39 days from today.

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/

© 2015