All About Emotional & Physical Sexuality, Part 2

(This blog was originally posted on February 2, 2016)

Photo by Ric Hustead

The cornerstone of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s hypnotherapy practice was the concept of Emotional and Physical Sexuality.  In my blog titled, All About Emotional and Physical Sexuality, Part 1, I described the characteristics of these personalities and the importance of knowing a client’s sexual personality as a way to understand, predict and even mold his or her behavior. In today’s blog I will further describe the priorities and goals of each personality in the context of a romantic (sexual) relationship. Please keep in mind that, like suggestibility, there are varying degrees of the Emotional and Physical Sexuality traits; no one is 100 percent “Emotional” or 100 percent “Physical” in terms of the degree to which dominant sexual-personality traits is manifested.

E&P PRIORITIES

EMOTIONAL	PHYSICAL
Career/$ Security (If financial security doesn’t exist, everything else falls by the wayside.)	Relationship/Sex (Relationship and Sex are interchangeable for the Physical. Sex is how the Physical expresses love)
Hobbies/Kids (Emotional male has no friends or work acquaintance, etc. or 1 Physical male friend considers; Emotional female partner as friend. Emotional female has other Emotional female friends. “Kids” are a hobby for an ethnic Emotional)	Children/Family
Relationship/Family (Home base)	Hobbies/ Friends (Physical Female has Physical male friends, often ex-partners, lack of competition; a Physical male will have Physical male friends.)
Sex	Career/$ Security

Emotional Sexual vs. Physical Sexual Personality

• Emotionals don’t like to confront the partner. Physicals have no problem asking for or “demanding” what they want and need in the relationship.

• Guilt controls the Emotional partner. The Physical partner feels actual, physical pain during a break-up, but when the relationship is over an Emotional “seems” to move on to a new relationship. (A bad break-up can take the Physical out of the dating game for a very long time in some cases, or subconsciously “chooses” another Physical partner because the previous experience with the Emotional lover/end of relationship was so traumatic.)

• Sex and the relationship are two different/separate things for the Emotional partner. The Emo can compartmentalize: “It’s ‘just’ sex” with a mistress.

• Sex and the relationship are the one and the same for the Physical partner. A Physical Sexual individual can’t imagine being sexually intimate without “feeling” an emotional connection with the other person.

• BOTH Emotional Sexual and Physical Sexual partner wants control in the relationship but go about different ways to get it. (E.g., Physical partner shouts/pouts/makes demands for more attention; the Emotional Partner freezes out/ignores the Physical partner, which makes the Physical partner shout/make demands until one of them walks away from the relationship or reconciles the difference.

If you are interested in finding out what whether you are an Emotional or Physical Sexual personality, check out the relationship quiz. It is can be hard to be objective about your own behavior when answering these questions, so I suggest that you take the quiz for (about) your spouse/partner and have the other person do the same for you. Once you know and understand Dr. Kappas’s E&P Sexual Personality model, a whole new world will open up for you in terms of recognizing, predicting and even helping to shape your own behavior and that of other people with whom you share a significant personal relationship.

Summer Promotion: Hypnosis for Weight Loss

 Let the power of your subconscious mind help you release extra weight and increase your motivation to make healthier eating/nutrition and exercise choices. Book the entire 10-week series and save $250!

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019

All About Emotional & Physical Sexuality, Part 1

(This blog was originally posted on February 2, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

The concept of Emotional and Physical Sexuality formed the cornerstone of Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D.’s  therapeutic philosophies and approach. He believed that these personality traits were more important and influential than a person’s suggestibility, because sexual personality was all about the individual’s motivations and behavior in an intimate relationship. 

Whereas suggestibility (how we learn) is learned/acquired from the primary caretaker (usually, mom), the secondary caretaker (typically dad or another father figure) typically models sexual personality traits. Like suggestibility, a person’s Sexual Personality (“E & P”) is described as varying degrees of “Emotional” and “Physical” characteristics. However, emotional and physical Sexual Personality characteristics are not interchangeable with emotional and physical Suggestibility. In his research, Dr. Kappas observed that an individual’s Sexual Personality starts to develop during childhood, typically when the youngster is between eight and fourteen years old. He hypothesized that, at a very subconscious level, modeling the sexual personality traits of the father figure is a way for the child to get (metaphorically) closer to Mother.

Unlike suggestibility, which can change somewhat and be affected by different events in an individual’s life, Sexual Personality does not alter that much during a person’s lifetime. Furthermore, these characteristics facilitate understanding and the ability to predict and shape a person’s behavior. I and my colleagues who also went through the hypnotherapy certification program at HMI appreciate the value and utility of this model when we work with our own clients to achieve their vocational and avocational self-improvement goals.

Following are highlights of Dr. Kappas’s model of E&P Sexual Personality:

·         Emotional and Physical Sexuality is NOT a male/female thing. The male can be emotional and the female can be Physical, and vice versa.

·         Opposites attract: An Emotional (e.g., social wall-flower) is drawn to the Physical (e.g., social butterfly), and vice versa because we are naturally attracted to our equal opposites. There is more intensity, more vulnerability with your opposite.

·         There is a subconscious goal to increase/raise the subdominant personality. For example: The goal of the Physical partner is to raise the Emotional partner’s subdominant trait (physicality).          

·         Different partners trigger different behaviors, depending on your E/P score

·         The E&P score will also differ depending on the phase of the relationship (Honeymoon vs. Crisis)

·         50/50 scores on the Sexuality test indicate: “We don’t know what you are.” You will have a different score for different relationships, different phases of the relationship. But you will always have a basic personality.

·         You can out-Phys/out-Emo a “same” partner. “Opposite” partners/relationships are more intense, but there is 10 times more vulnerability when you are with your subconscious opposite.

4 CORE TRAITS of the Emotional/Physical Sexual Personality

(You must have positive confirmation of 3 core traits before deciding/identifying the sexual personality.)

1.                Parental background (when the pattern breaks, you need to find out why. Parents may be going through a different phase of their relationship.)

2.                Response to rejection (When rejected, the Physical Sexual clings to the partner vs. an Emotional Sexual, who “freezes out” the partner)

3.                   Relationship with the physical body (comfortable vs. uncomfortable with physical contact) A Physical Sexual is connected/immediacy to the emotion, needs physical contact. There is a physical sensation with emotional reaction, somatization in the body. The Emotional Sexual has a disconnect of physical sensation to emotion. Sometimes the Emotional doesn’t know how he/she feels. Emotional protects the body, has a territory/boundary because the Emotional doesn’t know how they feel about their body or feelings.

4.                   Patterns of personal relationships (History of E/P partners. For example, if you are constantly attracted to a Physical Sexual, you are probably an Emotional Sexual, and vice versa.)

I will describe the priorities and behavioral motivations of the Emotional and Sexual Personalities in my next blog.

Summer Promotion: Hypnosis for Weight Loss

Let the power of your subconscious mind help you release extra weight and increase your motivation to make healthier eating/nutrition and exercise choices. Book the entire 10-week series and save $250!

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2019