Moving On

(This blog was originally posted on March 28, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

“There comes a time when you have to choose between turning

the page and closing the book.” – Lolly Daskal

How do you know when it is time to end a stagnant relationship? How do you know when it is finally time to give up a comfortable (albeit, unwanted and unhealthy) habit? How do you know when you should just add that new song or album you really like to your iPod playlist, even though the genre of that music is not popular among your friends and acquaintances? How do you know when is it an ideal opportunity to read a novel by an author you have never heard of rather than re-visit a favorite novel and beloved characters you have already completed ten times? How do you know if, when, it is ever a good idea to leave a well-paying job that you’ve been doing for years because you suddenly have an opportunity to pursue the career you have always wanted?

How do you know that “when” has become “now”?

As I explained in a previous blog titled Traditions: It’s All in the Family, the subconscious part of the mind likes and wants to do what is familiar (known), which the SCM equates with being “safe” and comfortable. Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John Kappas, Ph.D. proposed that human behavior is based on the subconscious mental scripts that we create during early childhood, at which time the subconscious mind is accumulating and storing various message units that will ultimately comprise the subconscious life script. Each message is ultimately categorized as a positive (pleasure) or negative (pain) experience, and anything that the subconscious mind does not recognize falls under the category of “pain.” Even if the conscious mind questions the behavior, its logic/reasoning/will-power/decision-making faculties will be no match for the unspoken acceptance of that action, in the subconscious mind.

There is no question that change can be painful. Change is almost always uncomfortable, even a desired change. Change is challenging, but that challenge is usually the impetus that motivate us to try a new behavior or belief system in the first place. For example, before a toddler takes that first, tentative step, it is so much easier and initially faster to just crawl around the floor on hands and knees. But after watching Mom, Dad and Sibling walking quickly out of reach, the youngster becomes curious and motivated to try a different way to get around. So the child takes a few tentative steps—first holding on to a parent’s hand or gripping some furniture to facilitate the navigation. Then, once they master walking, they figure out how to run. Eventually, over time, they learn to ride a tricycle, then a bicycle and even drive a car. The original book on crawling has been closed, but there are plenty of new “pages” in this new-found volume of locomotion.  And just like that, the whole, wide world opens up and there are a lot of places to move around in and move to.

It is so easy to keep doing what we have always done, to be comfortable in a familiar environment, reliving experiences that have brought pleasure and enjoyment. Conversely, doing something new requires motivation, confidence, self-esteem, willingness to take a risk or a chance and see what happens because you have enough faith or belief that this action will turn out okay. Doing something new challenges us from the moment we make the decision to step out of the comfort zone we have been occupying for so long because we (the subconscious mind) initially resist change. The question is, when you (your conscious mind) decides and determines that it is time to move on and move forward, will your subconscious mind allow you to tag along for the ride, or will it hold you back?

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Dealing With Traumatic Memories

(This blog was originally posted on April 20, 2016)

Photo by Rick Hustead

“Negative moments get remembered. Traumatic ones get forgotten.”

– Leaving Time, Jodi Picoult

One of the great things about the mind is its capacity to help us deal with a painful or even traumatic event in our lives. On the one hand, the plasticity of the brain enables us to adapt to an uncomfortable environment and learn lessons from that experience to avoid getting into a similar situation in the future. On the other hand, the mind also naturally knows how to block out and even forget the memory of that event so we can continue to function and fulfill daily activities to facilitate our basic survival. In other words, this kind of case-specific amnesia functions like a life-saving balm.

For example: someone contacts me for hypnotherapy to overcome an intense fear of driving and being in a vehicle following a serious car crash. This person knows the facts about what happened but does not remember anything about the collision or the moments immediately afterward when firefighters had to cut him out of the vehicle with Jaws-of-Life equipment. That is okay. I do not need to know these details to create an effective hypnotic script that will help to increase the client’s comfort and self-confidence while driving or being in a car. In fact, this gap in the client’s conscious awareness of the crash facilitates the physiological and psychological healing process as he works toward achieving the avocational self-improvement goal of being comfortable behind the wheel.

Consequently, I do not use age-regression hypnosis to help a client access a repressed memory following a traumatic event. Doing so would be similar to ripping a scab off of a deep abrasion before the original wound has had a chance to heal. If and when the person is emotionally, physically and even spiritually ready to address what happened, these memories are likely to return organically in spontaneous flashes of recollection or through dreams. If and when that happens, I can use various hypnosis, therapeutic guided imagery and neuro-linguistic programming techniques to help the individual become desensitized to and deal with how these memories and consequences of this event. It may also be necessary to refer the client to a licensed mental-health provider and/or a physician for additional assessment and care if this issue falls outside of the scope of my expertise as a certified hypnotherapist.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017

Thoughts of the Day

Photo by Sara Fogan

      Every now and then I like (and need) to take a few moments and remind myself about what is really important to me, in my life. If you follow me on my Calminsense Hypnotherapy Facebook page you may have seen some of these quotes before on this page, or will in the future. Many of these Quotes of the Day are beautiful examples and illustrations of the work I do as a hypnotherapist, so I will probably draw on them in future essays.

• “Sometimes it is not enough to do our best; we must do what is required.” – Winston Churchill

• “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.” – Lao Tzu

• “Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones.” – Mignon McLaughlin

• “Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind.” – Henry James

• “We are the inheritors of a million years of striving for the unspeakable.” – Terence McKenna

• “You don’t throw a whole life away just because it’s banged up a little.” – Seabiscuit

• “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.” – Steve Jobs

• “If you want to achieve greatness stop asking for permission.” – Anonymous

• “In the eyes of the ego, self-esteem and humility are contradictory. In truth, they are one and the same.” – Eckhart  Tolle

• “Yesterday’s success doesn’t mean tomorrow is secure.” – Lolly Daskal

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified
 hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2017