Friendly Influences

(This blog was originally posted on December 3, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

My friend’s Lusitano stallion, Galhoso, reawakened my

love of horses and riding; he also inspired my passion for dressage.

   Throughout our lifetime, we are suggestible to various influences. As very young children, we learn to emulate the beliefs and behaviors of our primary caretaker. As I described in my blog titled Where Does Suggestibility Come From?, suggestibility refers to how we learn and process information. According to Hypnosis Motivation Founder John G. Kappas, Ph.D., we get our early suggestibility from how the primary caretaker (usually the mother) takes care of and interacts with us during early childhood (birth up to age 5). When we are around 8 years old, the secondary caretaker (usually dad) has more influence over our suggestibility, while peers, teachers and others impact suggestibility between the ages of six and nine. By the time we are adults, our suggestibility is pretty much established but our subconscious mind remains receptive to other people’s suggestions if they resonate with our established known behaviors or interests.

   Nearly three years ago, one of my childhood friends bought me a ticket for a Bon Jovi concert in Los Angeles. She and her sister had both flown into town for their mother’s birthday, and the opportunity to see the concert with them that weekend was icing on the cake for me. They have been fans of Bon Jovi almost as long as I have known them. In fact, Jennifer was the one who first introduced me to their music seven years ago. She actually had to work pretty hard to convince me to go with her, since I was not a huge fan of rock ‘n roll and I didn’t really know much about this band. I didn’t know the lyrics to any of their songs. But, Jennifer was one of my best friends: I liked to hang out with her and I trusted her judgment when she promised me that I really, truly, absolutely would have a great time if I went. After all, she was the one who had introduced me to eating (and enjoying) sushi and the joys of reading J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series—and I had been pretty resistant to doing either of those things at first, too. I decided that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain, and I was right: I have been a fan of the band ever since that first concert, and these days I am usually the one asking my friends if another tour is in the works.

    I discovered dressage in a similar way. When I was working on my Master’s degree in London in the 1990s, my former landlady—and now dear friend—introduced me to the sport. Back then, when I thought about horses and riding, show-jumping or galloping across a cross-country course were what caught my imagination. I was actually a little disappointed when Sandra told me she rode dressage, but I think that is because at the time I had no real idea what that discipline entailed. When I returned to London in 2002 to attend another friend’s wedding, I spent a few days with Sandra and her husband; during the visit, I asked if I could go with her to the barn to meet her horse and watch her ride. I hadn’t been on a horse in nearly 20 years, but Sandra and I had always bonded over our mutual love of horses and riding.  It would be an understatement to say the experience was magical and inspiring. I knew right away that my love of horses and interest in riding had never gone away but had just been dormant for a long time.

After Sandra finished her ride, she asked if I would like to sit on her horse for a few minutes. Let’s just say that the five or so minutes I spent on Galhoso’s back were a revelation. The Lusitano stallion was not only the most beautiful horse I had ever seen and very kind; he was also the first stallion that I had ever been on. Earlier that morning, Sandra had explained to me that the true power of a horse’s movement comes from his hindquarters; boy did I feel that when she clucked him into a trot for me. It felt like we were flying, and all I was doing was a medium trot (rising) trot on a lunge line, no vertical jumps or oxers in sight. This informal introduction to dressage opened the door to a whole new world.

Within eighteen months I had not only started riding again, but I bought my first horse. Even though Geeves was a retired hunter, my trainer at the time mentioned that he was looking for riders for his dressage team. I immediately thought of Sandra and Galhoso and jumped at the chance. A year or so after Geeves passed away, I found Galahad—my own “Gally”—a dressage horse whose powerful, free stride makes me feel like I’m flying just like my friend’s stallion did all those years ago.

Something that is equally amazing to me is, if not for the influence of two very special friends, when would I have discovered these great passions on my own, if at all? What hobby or even a new relationship has a friend introduced to you?

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

 

The Unintentional Trigger (of a Phobic Response)

(This blog was originally posted on June 22, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

         

 Last year, the ScienceNow column of the Metro section in the Los Angeles Times featured a huge picture of a Dolomedes triton spider. Okay, the photograph wasn’t huge; it was only four inches by seven inches—I measured it!—but it was in color and there were enough details to show aspects of spider anatomy I didn’t need or want to see. And it was no ordinary, fly-eating house spider, either: it looked like a tarantula, and this creature was photographed catching a small fish! While I am not a fan of arachnids in any situation, I can only imagine how this image might have affected someone who has a fear or phobia of spiders. For a moment, I fancifully wondered if there should have been a spoiler alert on the previous page to warn readers what they might see on page AA2.

Of course, life doesn’t come with a spoiler alert, either. It is up to each of us to learn and develop strategies to cope or “deal” with things that make us feel uncomfortable. But what do you do when there is no “known” reason to explain your extreme, negative reaction to a stimulus that doesn’t seem to bother anyone else? How do you “cope” with this fear or anxiety when just a picture or other representation of the stimulus can also trigger that strong negative reaction?

I often work with people to help overcome their fears and phobias, through hypnotherapy. A fear is distinguished from a phobia if the primary cause of the extreme reaction: 1) has an identifiable “cause”; and 2) the person can identify when the fear started (usually during childhood). Phobias, which typically begin during adulthood, do not have a known primary cause or specific date of onset. Also, the person is aware that his or her extreme reactions to the stimulus are irrational.

To help someone who experienced an extreme negative reaction to the photo I just described, I would need to determine whether this individual had a fear or phobia about what is depicted in this image. While the client is in hypnosis I would systematically desensitize the individual to specific aspects of the stimulus that the person finds distressing (e.g., anatomy of the spider, what it is doing in the picture, etc.). Next, I would desensitize the person to the entire or overall image/impression of the spider or spiders and give the person to “practice” controlling his or her reaction in guided imagery. Finally, I would teach the person relaxation techniques and create a subconscious anchor with which he or she can activate this sensation of feeling of calm and reinforce this ability to control the previous negative response. When the client is returned to a fully alert and aware state, I would discuss the role of nutrition—specifically, how blood-sugar levels can exacerbate anxiety and its physical symptoms. I would also coach him or her on how and when to use the Emotional Freedom Technique to work through this anxiety.

For more information about fears and phobias, I invite you to read my blog titled The Origin of Fears & Phobias. For more information about the relationship between nutrition and anxiety, please read my blog titled Nutrition and Development of Phobias.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

 

Driving Anxiety

(This blog was originally posted on February 17, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Fotolia

           For many people, driving a car is a way of life. It is not only a way to get things done; it is practically a prerequisite for being able to accomplish many of your goals. It is a symbol of independence: if you can drive and have a driving license, you can go and do just about anything you want to do. When you can drive, you must no longer rely on a friend, neighbor or family member to chauffeur you to an event or an appointment. It is a way of getting to work or simply of getting away. Driving a car is a privilege and a responsibility; and for many people, it can be the source of great anxiety and even social debilitation.

         People can develop a fear or phobia of driving for various reasons. Sometimes, people become understandably afraid to drive or to even ride in an automobile after they have been in a car crash or narrowly avoided being in an accident. The same is true if they have been injured in a crash or if a loved one has been seriously injured or killed. Anxiety and phobias about driving can also develop in association with a sudden drop in blood-sugar level; it is common to associate (blame) driving with sudden symptoms of dizziness, feeling light-headed, confusion and nausea. However, the likely cause of this discomfort is being hungry because the person skipped breakfast to save time in the morning and then downed a quadruple espresso beverage to help stay awake for the morning commute.

        When I work with clients to help them resolve their anxiety about driving, one of the first things I do is to contextualize the origins of their fear or phobia. I explain Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder  John Kappas, Ph.D.’s, concepts of the Theory of Mind to illustrate how this current fear/phobic reaction has successfully, albeit temporarily “protected” them from perceived danger by keeping them out of cars. Finally, I employ relaxation, systematic-desensitization and visualization techniques to help my clients work through and overcome their anxiety while they are in hypnosis so they can get back in the driver’s seat of the car, and their lives, once again.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015