Words of Wisdom, Part 1

(This blog was originally posted on February 21, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

     For today’s blog, I thought I would share the advice and words of wisdom that I have learned from some of my favorite horsemen and horsewomen. While these pearls of wisdom were originally spoken in the context of training horses and riders, the main theme of each of these messages is also relevant for and applicable to just about every human/life experience.

• Clinton Anderson: “Whoever moves his feet first, loses.” In one of his basic groundwork exercises, Mr. Anderson asks his horses to yield (swing) their hindquarters away from him. The purpose of this exercise is to teach the horse to respect the trainer by moving wherever and whenever the human asks him to go. (It is also a tool by which the trainer can gain better control of the horse’s body on the ground by temporarily destabilizing the animal’s power/balance in its hindquarters.) During the exercise, the horse should be the only one moving his or her feet. If the human has to move to get out of the horse’s way, the equine has essentially “won” a power advantage in the relationship because the person was unable to gain the horse’s respect. This model may be applied to the context of human-human relationships in that, at some time or another, everyone must remain firm and demand fair/respectful treatment from another person. Whether you typically give in to the other person’s demands or are the one who lays down the rules about conduct in a relationship, your behavior says a lot about you and your role (power/control) in that relationship.

• Chris Cox: “Ride with your eyes.” No matter what you are doing, it is important to keep your eyes open and focused on where you want to go. As you look in the direction you are traveling, you are subconsciously programming your body to prepare for that destination. Whether you look straight ahead, behind/above you or straight down at the ground, your subconscious mind is sending your body a message: This is where you will end up.

• Chris Cox: “If you can ride a fast horse, you will never be on a runaway.” Sometimes things happen in life that will take you completely by surprise. You may suddenly find yourself having to deal with challenges you never thought could—or would—happen to you. Practice taking on more challenges and accepting additional responsibilities to stretch your comfort zone. Do things faster or slower than you are used to doing them, so you will be comfortable and emotionally prepared to rise to any challenge—and at any speed—if life throws a curve ball at you.

• Robert Dover: “Your horse must feel like he can do everything like a champion.” Confidence is the key to a successful outcome whether you are a horse or a human. The more confident you feel about yourself, how well you do your job, how good you are at your hobbies, how emotionally secure you feel in your relationships (romantic, family, etc.), the harder you will try to succeed at that endeavor. Continuing to set reasonable goals that you must work at—but are capable of achieving—and celebrating the recognition and other rewards of your success that you receive during this journey, will increase your enthusiasm and motivation to succeed. 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer

(This blog was originally posted on June 1, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Sara R. Fogan

   It is July third—“officially” summertime and the weather in some parts of southern California has already been hitting the century mark for the past couple of couple of weeks. School is out and people are heading to the beach or other summertime destination for vacation. American Pharoah won the Belmont Stakes on June 6 to become the first Triple Crown winner in thirty-seven years. Although most of my favorite television programs are now on summer hiatus, at least there is still Shark Week on the Discovery Channel to look forward to starting on Sunday.

     Although summer isn’t my favorite time of year, I do appreciate it for the symbolic respite that this season offers. As the weather heats up, time seems to slow down to the pace of thick molasses. This is the season of slathering on sunscreen, sipping iced-tea by the pool and reading a novel under the shade of a tree (or beach umbrella). Now that the school year is over—or just about over—many people will start their exodus out of town to enjoy a couple of well-deserved weeks of rest and relaxation with their families. Some will hang out at the beach or in the local mountains. Others may go to visit relatives or amusement parks in a different city or state or even travel to a foreign country. This is when we can dig into those projects around the house that we have been putting off doing earlier in the year. Or… not.

    It is more traditional to reflect on what we have done during the year, at the end of the year. But consider this: there is really no time to say something to or do something with someone during the last few hours of the last night of the year. However, the beginning of summer is an ideal time to take stock of our accomplishments and any goals we have not achieved because we still have six more months in which to make any desired changes in our lives. This is the time when we are more likely to be relaxed and to have the time to at least lay down the foundations for making that desired change. Yes, Summer time is an opportunity to recharge our emotional, physical and psychological batteries so we can be in a more productive frame of mind to reinforce those behaviors that will help us realize our goals. But this is also a great time to start making those changes so we can feel good about having already said and done a lot of the things we set out to do at the beginning of the year.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015

Flash in the Pan

(This blog was originally posted on June 12, 2015)

        From time to time we come across—or think we have come across—someone who just seems too good to be true. This individual is talented, charming, intelligent and, of course attractive. Perhaps she is an extraordinary, previously unknown athlete that comes out of nowhere to win every championship title. Or it is an actor who has gone unnoticed or even unrecognizable in several major motion pictures or television series before “suddenly” landing a starring role in a major project; suddenly, he is turning up everywhere. Continuing on this theme, there is even a song in which someone is lamenting the fact that other people always have plenty of admirers and romantic suitors while the singer never seems to get any attention. We wonder how and why some lucky few people get all of the attention/acclaim/wealth, etc., while we are struggling just to keep up with everyone around us. It just doesn’t seem fair, does it?

       If it is any comfort, there are very, very few people who truly live up to the description of being a “flash in the pan,” someone who comes out of nowhere to take the world by storm without having to exert any effort. In fact, I truly doubt that such an individual really exists. Everybody has a history, and every success is framed by a back-story that features hard work and effort. The person may have been unknown to you before he or she landed on your radar; but just because you didn’t witness those trials and disappointments doesn’t mean they didn’t occur.

      Many of us have heard or even been told that we shouldn’t judge someone until we have lived or walked in that person’s shoes. In other words, don’t make a snap-judgment about someone’s behavior or attitudes if you don’t know what that individual has experienced or endured that inspired a particular reaction. Just because you haven’t heard about someone’s earlier achievements (and even failures) until today doesn’t mean that this person is new on the job. One of my favorite examples of this comes from an interview with Clinton Anderson, the founder of Downunder Horsemanship® and champion horseman. In it, he described that many people’s mistaken belief that he and other horsemen of his ilk came out of nowhere and become immensely successful and wealthy doing what they love: training horses. The truth was far less glamorous, Anderson said: He used to travel around the United States to teach riding clinics to anyone who would show up, usually just one or two women, and treat his client like a queen for the weekend. He said that he could only hope that those students would return for more training the following year and hopefully bring a couple of friends with them. This strategy, dedication and hard work have paid off, big time. Twenty years after emigrating from Australia, he had earned and established his reputation as a champion horseman and trainer and could purchase his first training center. The rest, as they say, is history.

     When you feel tempted to make a snap judgment about whether another person deserves the success that he or she seems to be enjoying, imagine what you would have to do to be in a similar position. Chances are pretty good that this individual put in more time, energy, dedication and money than most people would want to invest—and endured many professional and/or emotional disappointments—before achieving the success you have idealized. This person has simply followed a subconscious mental script that facilitated the kind of success you admire (or envy) and perhaps would like to emulate. 

 Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy®, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2015