It's the Holiday Season

Photo courtesy of Microsoft

 

                For me, nothing says the holiday season like inclement winter weather. Perhaps I am simply suggestible to the cozy images of houses covered in snow and icicles depicted in Hallmark advertisements, but I just can’t seem to get into the holiday spirit when the sun is shining. Southern California is not known for the blizzards and heavy snow that occurs elsewhere in the United States in December through February—let alone most countries in the Northern Hemisphere. Consequently, I often have trouble reconciling what I want and think the season should look and feel like compared to what it is actually like. I remember temperatures soaring into the eighties and even nineties (degrees Fahrenheit) on many Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. My friends in England would be ooh-ing and ahh-ing with envy while all I wanted was to be watching snow fall outside my window.

                Of course, the symbolism of and sentiment behind these holidays has nothing to do with what the weather is like. People who live in Brisbane, Australia will open Christmas presents on December 25, just like people in Berlin, Germany will do. However, citizens in Australia will likely be wearing lightweight clothing to stay cool in their hot summer weather, while celebrants in Europe will probably be bundled up in warm clothes to stay warm and protect against freezing temperatures. In both cases, these scenarios will be comfortable and familiar for the people who live there because they know what to expect from the weather where they live. It is what they know.

                As I explained in my December 25, 2013 blog titled “Venturing into the Unknown,” Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder John G. Kappas, Ph.D. and his brother, Alex G. Kappas, Ph.D., observed that the subconscious mind identifies and integrates your experiences as “known” or “unknown” phenomena. Also, we get our suggestibility from our primary caretaker—usually mom—whose attitudes and behaviors we imitate and integrate into our own behavioral repertoire during early childhood. Once the SCM recognizes an event or stimulus as a known entity, it becomes comfortable and an accepted part of your experiential repertoire. In fact, this familiarity often induces an initial subconscious “resistance” to and rejection of anything different (i.e., “unknown”) until the SCM integrates that new stimulus as a known and is therefore comfortable or safe for you to enjoy, as well.

                Since I grew up in Southern California, where the weather is often mild in the winter, I can only guess that I learned to identify and prefer cold and snow during this season from my parents. They both grew up on the East Coast and told me and my sister plenty of stories about snow days off from school and even having to dig their cars out from under a snow bank following a storm. I heard those stories so often, and even though my own experience of snow was so rare, the note of nostalgia I perceived in my parents’ anecdotes made me yearn to get snow days, too. One of my favorite early-childhood memories is of feeling warm and cozy after waking up at my grandparents’ home in New York, the entire neighborhood covered under a thick blanket of winter snow during the night. When I lived in England, to my delight, I got quite a few snow days of my own.

                Now that I’m living in Southern California once again, it is unlikely that I will wake up to icicles on my rooftop this winter. However, recent weather forecasts are predicting more rainstorms at the end of the week, and I have heard several mentions of a mild El Nino heading our way. But rain is one of my knowns, and if this is true, I can’t wait.

                It’s beginning to feel a lot more like the Holiday Season, now.

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Blowing Off Steam

Photo by Sara Fogan

 

                The rainy season seems to have officially arrived in Southern California. For the past few days the rain has just been pouring down. That is great news for residents, wildlife and flora that live in this state because California is in a drought. Of course, the rain has created some tricky footing at local training barns. Today was the first time in several days that the ground was firm enough for my horse and his herd-mates to get turned out to play. They had been locked up in their stalls with nowhere to go since Saturday, so their frustration (“cabin fever”) was understandably high. The instant they were turned out—after their obligatory roll in the mud, that is—all they wanted to do was run and play.

My gelding galloped around the paddock with his tail held high and flowing behind him just like horse in The Black Stallion. Sometimes he would come back down to do a beautiful passage for a few strides before snorting and picking up the pace again. Meanwhile, the other geldings turned out with him did versions of the same routine, occasionally throwing in a buck or two for good measure. This went on for ten or fifteen minutes until they worked off their pent-up energy. Then, almost simultaneously, the horses resumed their usual turn-out routine of wandering around the paddock sniffing the ground looking for a stray piece of hay or nibbling leaves off the nearby pepper trees. Their ability to just turn down the adrenaline and go all Zen like that was remarkable, especially after watching them play so hard just moments before. If I hadn’t known better, I would have doubted that any rambunctious play ever occurred at all.

Of course, this is typical of horses. Over the millennia, these prey animals have evolved and survived by conserving energy (i.e., doing very little whenever possible) so they can tap into vast stores of energy to flee perceived danger at any time. Even when we’re working, if Galahad should shy at something, I know he will come right back to my aids and we continue the ride as if nothing has happened when he believes that whatever danger he perceived has passed. Several times a week, my cat suddenly, inexplicably runs around the house and practically bounces off the walls and furniture when something annoys her. However, once she’s got that out of her system she just curls up for a long nap and acts as if nothing ever happened. So, why do humans seem to have so much more difficulty releasing the past and letting go of previous frustration or annoyance? I wonder.

John Kappas, Ph.D., the founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, used to say that it is impossible to have two opposite emotions or reactions at the same time. For example, you cannot experience joy and sadness, or anxiety and relaxation at the same time. If you don’t believe me, think about the last time you were very happy about something you had just done: perhaps you just earned your certification at HMI or started a well-deserved vacation in your favorite location. Did you even notice (let alone dwell on) anything negative in your environment at this time? If something untoward did occur, did you resolve the problem and return to your more positive attitude, or did you remain frustrated and agitated? The point is, you didn’t experience both conflicting emotions at the same time, because you couldn’t. None of us could.

Everyone has a different level of tolerance for stress and anxiety the same way that everyone has a different ability to deal with the things that stress, hurt or annoy them. Perhaps you go for a run, shoot hoops or participate in some kind of physical activity to blow off steam when you are frustrated. Some people turn to food, drink or other substances to help them get through a challenging time. Still others write in a journal, talk to friends or meditate. What do you do? Are you able to work through and release frustration in a safe, proactive and productive way? To find out how hypnotherapy and therapeutic guided imagery can help you learn to let go of that negative experience or association that has been holding you back and free you to achieve your self-improvement goals, contact me at (661) 433-9430 or send e-mail to calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com.

  

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

My New Office

     As of December 1, 2014, in addition to continuing to provide hypnotherapy to clients at their homes, I also have a new office in Santa Clarita, California where I can work with my clients. (There is no difference in the cost of the consultation.) I am very excited about this new space: in addition to being in a convenient location with nearby freeway access for my clients to get to me, the office is ideally set up to best facilitate hypnotherapy, as originally recommended by Hypnosis Motivation Institute founder Dr. John Kappas, Ph.D. I also have access to a conference room in which I can conduct informational seminars about hypnosis and therapeutic guided imagery. (Stay tuned for more information about upcoming presentations for 2015.)

     According to Dr. Kappas, while the hypnotherapist conducts the pre-induction and induction to hypnosis, the therapist should sit behind a desk with the client seated in a chair to the therapist’s right or left, facing forward. This seating arrangement enables the client to avoid having direct eye contact with the therapist if he or she chooses. In addition, the presence of the desk serves as a “barrier” between the therapist and the client and prevents the therapist from invading the client’s personal space. (I can and will also pull back or away from the client if the person seems uncomfortable.)

     “If the client feels antagonized because you’re too close, the antagonism will carry over to the suggestions and he’ll abreact (respond negatively to or reject) the therapy,” he said.

     According to Dr. Kappas, the hypnotherapist should always be in charge of the therapy, including where the client is seated in the room and how long the session lasts (approximately one hour). Finally, he advised, the hypnotherapist should be able to immediately determine whether the client’s presenting issue pertains to avocational or vocational self-improvement (Business and Professions Code 2908) and refer the client to a medical professional for further evaluation.

     For more information about hypnotherapy and how it can help you to change an unwanted behavior and achieve your self-improvement goals, please visit my web-site at visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com. If you would like to set up an appointment in my office or at your home, please contact me at (661) 433-9430 or send me an e-mail at calminsensehypnosis@yahoo.com.

 

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

 

© 2014

 

Friendly Influences

Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

My friend's Lusitano stallion, Galhoso, reawakened my
love of horses and inspired my passion for dressage.

                Throughout our lifetime, we are suggestible to various influences. As very young children, we learn to emulate the beliefs and behaviors of our primary caretaker. As I described in my blog titled Where Does Suggestibility Come From?, suggestibility refers to how we learn and process information. According to Hypnosis Motivation Founder John G. Kappas, Ph.D., we get our early suggestibility from how the primary caretaker (usually the mother) takes care of and interacts with us during early childhood (birth up to age 5). When we are around 8 years old, the secondary caretaker (usually dad) has more influence over our suggestibility, while peers, teachers and others impact suggestibility between the ages 6 to 9. By the time we are adults, our suggestibility is pretty much established but our subconscious mind remains receptive to other people’s suggestions if they resonate with our established known behaviors or interests.

                Nearly two years ago, one of my childhood friends bought me a ticket for a Bon Jovi concert in Los Angeles. She and her sister had both flown into town for their mother’s birthday, and the opportunity to see the concert with them that weekend was icing on the cake for me. They have been fans of Bon Jovi almost as long as I have known them. In fact, Jennifer was the one who first introduced me to their music seven years ago. She actually had to work pretty hard to convince me to go with her, since I was not a huge fan of rock ‘n roll and I didn’t really know much about this band. I didn’t know the lyrics to any of their songs. But, Jennifer was one of my best friends: I liked to hang out with her and I trusted her judgment when she promised me that I really, truly, absolutely would have a great time if I went. After all, she was the one who had introduced me to eating (and enjoying) sushi and the joys of reading J.K.Rowling’s Harry Potter series—and I had been pretty resistant to doing either of those things at first, too. I decided that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain, and I was right: I have been a fan of the band ever since that first concert, and these days I am usually the one asking my friends if another tour is in the works.

                I discovered dressage in a similar way. When I was working on my Master’s degree in London in the 1990s, my former landlady—and now dear friend—introduced me to the sport. Back then, when I thought about horses and riding, show-jumping or galloping across a cross-country course were what caught my imagination. I was actually a little disappointed when Sandra told me she rode dressage, but I think that is because at the time I had no real idea what that discipline entailed. When I returned to London in 2002 to attend another friend’s wedding, I spent a few days with Sandra and her husband; during the visit, I asked if I could go with her to the barn to meet her horse and watch her ride. I hadn’t been on a horse in nearly 20 years, but Sandra and I had always bonded over our mutual love of horses and riding.  It would be an understatement to say the experience was magical and inspiring. I knew right away that my love of horses and interest in riding had never gone away but had just been dormant for a long time.

After Sandra finished her ride, she asked if I would like to sit on her horse for a few minutes. Let’s just say that the five or so minutes I spent on Galhoso’s back were a revelation. The Lusitano stallion was not only the most beautiful horse I had ever seen and very kind; he was also the first stallion that I had ever been on. Earlier that morning, Sandra had explained to me that the true power of a horse’s movement comes from his hindquarters; boy did I feel that when she clucked him into a trot for me. It felt like we were flying, and all I was doing was a medium trot (rising) trot on a lunge line, no vertical jumps or oxers in sight. This informal introduction to dressage opened the door to a whole new world.

Within eighteen months I had not only started riding again, but I bought my first horse. Even though Geeves was a retired hunter, my trainer at the time mentioned that he was looking for riders for his dressage team. I immediately thought of Sandra and Galhoso and jumped at the chance. A year or so after Geeves passed away, I found Galahad—my own “Gally”—a dressage horse whose powerful, free stride makes me feel like I’m flying just like my friend’s stallion did all those years ago.

Something that is equally amazing to me is, if not for the influence of two very special friends, when would I have discovered these great passions on my own, if at all? What hobby or even a new relationship has a friend introduced to you?

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014

Oh, I Love a Rainy Night!

 (This blog was originally posted on February 28, 2014)

 

Photo courtesy of Midnight

 

 

                This week, finally, it rained in Southern California. Not just a drizzle or the light showers that have been passing for rain for the past year or so. Oh, no. We got a heavy downpour on Sunday morning and then, today—all day—we got real, honest-to-goodness, I-mean-business rain. And I couldn’t be happier about it.

                Just like Eddie Rabbitt sings in his hit song, “I Love a Rainy Night,” rain quite simply makes me feel good. It washes the metaphoric cobwebs out of my mind the way it cleans the months-old accumulation of dirt and dust off of the leaves and plants outside. Best of all, rain gives me an opportunity—okay, an excuse—to really enjoy some down time and relax. I allowed myself to sleep in this morning. Then, I spent a good part of the afternoon snuggling up in front of the hearth with a mug of hot chocolate and read a novel I’ve been trying to finish.

I also love the way rain energizes me to choose to do things I have been putting off. Earlier this evening, I organized my hypnotherapy library—including books about health and nutrition, relaxation and general motivation. In fact, I got so motivated that I even tackled about 10 years’ worth of books and magazines about horses/animal husbandry, riding and horse-training, which I reference when I work with my equestrian clients.

                But, tonight, I will fall asleep listening to the music of rain on my windows and, fingers crossed, the sound of thunder rumbling and crackling overhead.

I love rain…

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

Back in the Saddle Again

(This blog was originally posted on January 19, 2014)

Photo courtesy of Sara Fogan

 

I am sure that most people—even non-equestrians—have heard the expression that you must get right back on the horse if it bucks you off. It is not about teaching the horse a lesson or proving that we won’t let him “beat us.” Contrary to popular belief, this philosophy is actually about helping riders to regain their self-confidence after a fall or other negative experience with a horse. This philosophy has even become a metaphor for picking yourself up and overcoming a challenge in various contexts (work, relationships, riding a bike). It also happens to be a perfect example of how I use hypnotherapy to help my clients replace negative associations to a person or event with a new “known” or positive association with that situation.

Few horses are malicious in that they intend to buck off or “lose” their riders. Regardless of the cause of the incident, provided you and your horse are physically unhurt and able to do continue, it is very important (psychologically) for you to get back on your horse. This is because as more time passes between the fall and riding again, your subconscious mind is strengthening the new, negative association(s) between riding, that specific horse and any negative self-talk that may be in bouncing around in your mind. You want to eradicate and replace any of those negative associations with positive ones of enjoying yourself and riding/spending time with your equine partner. You don’t have to ride fast or even very far. If you are more comfortable riding in a smaller arena than going on a trail ride, that’s fine. Do this work where you feel most comfortable—even if it is standing still with another person or your instructor holding the horse on a line. The objective of this part of the ride is to create new positive associations between your horse, being on and with your horse, feeling comfortable, being relaxed and enjoying yourself. Focus on taking slow, deep breaths. Pat your horse and reassure him that you are still there and that everything is okay. (By the way, these actions will comfort and relax you, too.)

I hope these suggestions help you to relax and enjoy the time you spend with your horse, regardless of what is going on around you. I am not a riding instructor, and I encourage everyone to consult with a trainer or instructor to resolve riding and horse-related issues. However, I have found from personal experience as well as my hypnotherapy work with other equestrians that setting positive expectations for a good ride is the most effective way to achieve that goal. For more information about my hypnotherapy work with equestrians, please contact me via my website at www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com.

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

 

 

How Hypnosis Has Helped Me

(This blog was originally posted on March 5, 2014)

 

 

                I graduated from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute as a certified hypnotherapist in 2005. Since then, I have helped many clients achieve various vocational and avocational self-improvement goals such as quit smoking, overcome a fear of flying or driving, improve self-confidence and self-esteem, overcome test anxiety, improve study skills and improve sport performance. Following are some examples of how my hypnotherapy training has helped me to achieve some of my own self-improvement goals and change unwanted behaviors.

·         Overcome my anxiety about driving on freeways. John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind model was the biggest influence here: Since the mind is uncomfortable about and resists doing unknown activities, I knew I would feel more relaxed and comfortable driving freeways by just doing it. It took me a few weeks of round-trip journeys to HMI in Tarzana and reminding myself that once freeway driving was no longer an unknown to me that I truly did get comfortable navigating Southern California’s biggest and busiest motorways.

 

·         Increase and improve my patience with myself (and others): Before I started my hypnotherapy training, I was usually very tense and impatient (usually with myself). Now, when I get frustrated I immediately use cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to disarm negative self-talk and reframe the situation by turning it into a learning experience.

 

·         “Keep calm and carry on.” Sir Winston Churchill was right: the calmer you are, the easier it will be to survive a crisis. Now that I can recognize and identify my potential stress triggers, I can employ relaxation and breathing techniques to maintain a calm and relaxed demeanor to weather just about any kind of storm—literal or metaphoric. These days, what would have been a “crisis” ten years ago is a non-event because I am able to remain calm and relaxed; in turn, this mellow state enables me to focus on the situation and come up with an appropriate solution to the problem.

 

·         Take better care of myself. One of the extra benefits of my hypnotherapy training is that I learned a lot about how maintaining a healthy lifestyle (or not) affects my mood and ability to function during the day. I try to eat a well-balanced diet and get plenty of sleep at night so I can remain energetic and focused on what I am doing during the day and avoid that jittery feeling I get if I drink too much coffee or my blood-sugar level starts to drop when I haven’t eaten in a long time.

 

·         Analyze my dreams. Dream analysis helps my clients to work through unresolved issues in their lives. It is a lot of fun for me—and very enlightening—to analyze my own dreams to find out what my subconscious mind is really trying to tell me!

 

When you are ready to learn more about what your subconscious mind has to tell you, give hypnotherapy a try. It is definitely a mind-opening experience—and you will get to enjoy a mental massage in the process!

 

 

 

 

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

© 2014