Dealing With Holiday Stress

(This blog was originally posted on December 12, 2014)

Photo by Rick Hustead

     It seems almost counter-intuitive, but the holidays are actually one of the most stressful times of the year. Behind all that merry-making lurks the burden of having to deal with heavy traffic and possibly inclement weather to get wherever we’re going at the same time millions of other travelers are on the move to get to their holiday destination. While your kids and spouse are tossing a football back and forth or building a snowman on the lawn, you’re preparing the holiday meal and getting the house ready to host (or being hosted by) friends and relatives. The pressure of sending greeting cards and purchasing, wrapping and sending (or delivering) gifts on time lurks behind every expression of good cheer as you negotiate (fight) your way through throngs of impatient shoppers trying to achieve the same goal. By the time the holiday “day” actually arrives, you’re tired, irritable and no longer in a festive mood. Quite frankly, you’d almost be just as happy to get home already so you could recover from preparing for an event you barely got to enjoy in the first place, if you enjoyed it at all.

     Many people also follow a particular set of behaviors during the holidays. For example, we may going to a place of worship to celebrate the holiday, travel somewhere so you can spend time with (the same) friends and/or relatives or eat a specific dish of food at the holiday meal. We likely have the same conversation or talk about similar topics every year with those same people—a conversation that, more often than not, devolves into an argument. Even if we no longer enjoy or even like the way we are spending this time, it seems impossible to do anything different because doing so would be unfamiliar, painful—even scary. That is because over time, repetition of these behaviors become a habit—a known.

     It doesn’t have to be like this. Here are a few tips to help you avoid and/or manage common triggers of holiday stress:

·         Eat nutritious meals that contain protein. I know that there are plenty of sweet and savory treats to tempt us at this time of year, but protein is the best option to help you stabilize and maintain control of your emotions. John Kappas, Ph.D., founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute observed a strong correlation between low blood sugar and hyper-suggestibility, which can lead to anxiety and the perception of being unable to control the environment. Protein helps to lower blood-sugar levels and stabilize mood swings, which in turn helps you feel more in control of how you react and respond to stressors in your environment.

·         Get plenty of sleep. Not only does lack of sleep disrupt the regular circadian rhythm, it can also really mess up our productivity and attitude about things going on (or not) in our lives. Even though there may be parties and other activities going on late into the night and early the next morning, listen to your body and hit the hay when you feel tired.

·         Square breathe. If you notice that your temper is starting to rise and your level of patience is on a steep decline, practice drawing several slow, deep breaths. As you inhale through your nose, visualize or imagine that you are drawing from the universe an infinite amount of patience, calm and control. Hold that breath (and image) for four seconds and then release the air through your mouth. As you exhale, visualize or imagine that you are releasing any stress and/or other negative emotion or association into the universe where it can no longer affect you or anyone else. Repeat this exercise as needed.

·         Avoid alcohol and caffeine. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have any alcoholic beverages or your morning coffee, just to be smart about it. Both alcohol and caffeine affects suggestibility, which can distort your perception about what is going on in the environment around you. If you are already feeling stressed about something these substances are more likely to increase your annoyance, frustration or unhappiness than alleviate it.

·         Do something nice for someone else. Hold a door open for another shopper, “pay it forward” at your favorite café by purchasing another customer’s coffee, volunteer at a homeless shelter/animal shelter or compliment a co-worker on the snack the person contributed to the office party, etc. It really doesn’t matter what you do so long as you hold a positive intention and benevolent attitude; doing something nice for someone else will make you feel good, too!

·         It will be over soon. Remember: The holidays only come around once a year. You have dealt with the various challenges and their related stresses in the past, so you can (and will) get through the season again! Try the suggestions above to help you deal with any stress you may be feeling and help you prepare for the holiday.

·         Hypnotherapy to deal with holiday-related stress. To help someone deal with stress during the holidays, I first explain the “mechanics” of this experience in the context of John Kappas, Ph.D.’s Theory of Mind. When the person is in hypnosis I gradually introduce specific aspects or qualities of what triggers this distress into his or her subconscious awareness and then systematically desensitize the person to that stressor. I may also incorporate guided-imagery exercises to enable the client to rehearse how he or she can and will handle the stress in a productive way. This process creates a new subconscious mental script that emphasizes a state of deep relaxation and the ability to control how they perceive and respond to negative stimuli that triggers the stress reaction. For example, I may have the client visualize that he or she is confidently, calmly deflecting a relative’s too-personal questions during the holiday meal and redirecting the conversation to a more neutral topic. As I create the individualized hypnotic script, I incorporate the client’s words and motivations to relax and enjoy the holiday events occasion, replacing his or her previous negative associations about the holidays with positive ones. Throughout the hypnosis session I use imagery and other key words to reinforce this state of deep relaxation and increase the person’s motivation to manage this stress once they return to an alert and aware state.

Sara R. Fogan, C.Ht. is a certified hypnotherapist based in Southern California. She graduated with honors from the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in 2005. For more information about Calminsense Hypnotherapy® and to set up an appointment, please visit http://www.calminsensehypnotherapy.com/.

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